John Mulaney & Nick Kroll Answer the Web's Most Searched Questions

Hello, I'm John Mulaney.

Oh, hello, I'm Nick Kroll, and

we're doing a Wired Autocomplete,

what is it?

[Man] Wired Autocomplete Interview.

See, I was (beep) with you.

I knew, I just wanted you to autocomplete the answer.

(lighthearted music)

I thought it was autofill.

Autofill is when Phil--

Oh, when we would automatically feed Phil.

Yeah. 'Cause who's gonna feed

Phil? Who's gonna feed Phil, guys?

Netflix cross-programming.

(Latin music)

First one, is Nick Kroll single?

Nick Kroll is singularly focused

on doing a great job in this viral video.

Are you single?

I am alone.

Is Nick Kroll rich?

Is Nick Kroll rich?

Not only am I independently rich,

from all the money I've made doing comedy,

but I come from a wealthy family.

Next up, is Nick Kroll German?

Well, it's possible a number

of generations ago, I was German,

but I think it's fair to say that I'm no longer German.

Is Nick Kroll Canadian?

I am not Canadian, but I love to say the word pasta.

Here you go, John Mulaney.

All right.

Did John Mulaney killed Princess Di?

Oh, no.

It was so long ago.

Who knows what happened in

that dark tunnel on that Paris evening?

She was England's rose.

Did John Mulaney win an Emmy?

No.

I won two Emmys.

That's right.

However, the first Emmy I received was a trick.

Seth Meyers and I called the song

that we wrote for Justin Timberlake's monologue,

Justin Timberlake's Song, just as a shorthand,

so when the Emmy voters were voting for it,

they thought that it was Dick in a Box, or Motherlover.

So we actually got their votes, and we were fine with it.

We took the award.

(laughs) Okay, did John Mulaney go to college?

I did go to college.

I went to college with Nick Kroll.

Oh, my God!

Yes.

What did John Mulaney study?

Oh, I was an English major with a theology minor.

Where did John Mulaney get married?

Oh, I got married in the Catskill Mountains

of New York state.

Yes, because John has always wanted to be a Jew.

All right, it's time for a little more Nick knowledge.

Where did Nick Kroll grow up?

I grew up right in my own pants.

Right now.

You know what I'm saying?

This guy to my right makes me horny as a kid.

What did Nick Kroll's parents do?

Isn't that exactly how you wanna be remembered,

for all of your personal accomplishments

to still be diminished to what your parents did, and do?

Well, now you know how Blanket Jackson feels.

Two-part peel, Nick.

Where did Nick Kroll go to college?

I went to Georgetown University

with a very smart, funny, young man--

Named--

Mick Birbiglia.

Did Nick Kroll audition for SNL.

Yes, I auditioned the same year

that John Mulaney auditioned.

August 7th, 2008.

With, also, the same year as Jordan Peele.

Yes, also Ellie Kemper.

Also Eddie Murphy.

Two parts.

How did Nick Kroll become,

how did Nick Kroll became famous?

I was dating this-- How did Nick Kroll

became famous?

I was dating this woman, Lorena Bobbit.

I'm taking a nap, she walks in

with a knife, next thing you know, it's a cooler.

Meanwhile, I was the Cutco salesman

that gave her the darn thing, so now

I'm feeling terrible about it.

Bottom line is, gets sewn back on,

I call it my Frankendick.

I can't believe that works,

to just sew it back on, and it works.

Okay, next peel.

Where did Nick Kroll's zip come from?

Where did Nick Kroll's zip come from?

Nope, there's no right way to say that.

What does that mean?

Well, answer it however you think it means.

My zip, I think, came from being a little guy,

you know what I mean?

So you gotta develop a little bit of a zip.

I was a point guard on the basketball team,

just went back to my elementary school the other day,

saw that there was padding on the walls,

and it is because, many years ago,

I ran to block a layup, and ran head-first into a wall.

And?

They put up padding after that.

Concussion?

Yeah, here we go.

Where was John Mulaney born?

Chicago, boring question.

(laughs) What year was John Mulaney born?

1982, boring question.

But can I ask you a question?

Absolutely.

What year were you born?

You know, it's interesting.

(hushing)

1982.

Was John Mulaney in a frat?

No, there were no frats at Georgetown University,

and I don't see myself joining one if there were.

I don't think you would've been good in a frat.

Absolutely.

Any group of men together, I always thought was hilarious.

Yeah.

And men who look up to their fathers

too much are ridiculous people.

I'm just so proud of my father.

My dad, if you're an adult male

who sees no flaws in his father, you're an insane person.

Why was John Mulaney on SNL?

Why was I on SNL?

Why were you on SNL?

Well, one defense would be that I wasn't,

but since you're turning the screws,

I was asked to be on Update.

I was never on the show, really.

I left, and then they asked me to host the show.

I'd say, for me, top three SNL hosts of all time,

Nancy Kerrigan.

It's just Nancy Kerrigan, I think.

She's all your top three?

Yeah. Okay.

But you know what?

No, just Nancy Kerrigan.