Hank Azaria Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions

How can you possibly be this talented?

Does your handsomeness get in the way of your everyday life?

I can't think of any other questions

people would want to ask me, I don't know.

[upbeat music]

I really hope this is being recorded

because if it isn't, I've just gone insane.

[upbeat music]

Hi, I'm Hank Azaria and apparently I'm doing the

WIRED Autocomplete Interview, so here we go.

First thing, how to pronounce Hank Azaria. It's Hank Azaria.

It's self-explanatory, although some of the people

in my family say Azaria, I discovered.

The Azaria people insist they're right, but they are wrong.

And I, you know, I have the mic here, so I win.

How tall is Hank Azaria?

I am six feet tall exactly.

Although with age, I'm like 5'11 and 3/4 now.

How old is Hank Azaria?

Getting very personal.

The card is like actually upsetting me.

I'll be 57 in April, as of April 25th, 2021.

I can barely wait to see how insulting

this next one's gonna be.

Oh, no, not until, how many characters

does Hank Azaria voice?

Well, on The Simpsons alone,

I mean over a hundred over the years,

but like 30 or so running characters

that appear consistently.

And then, you know, too many to count in other venues.

Now we're on to does Hank Azaria.

We're really, this is like a journey into grammar here.

Does Hank Azaria drink?

Well, I, you know, I drink, like water and stuff

to live and survive, sure.

I do not drink alcoholic beverages.

I've retired from that about, oh, 14 years ago

this next summer.

I was forced into retirement.

Does Hank Azaria sing?

Yes, I mean, I have to sing on The Simpsons all the time.

I sang on Broadway.

I would like to point out that I believe in the history

of Broadway musicals, I'm the person nominated

for a Tony with the least musical talent ever

in the history of Broadway.

So they pay me to sing every once in a while

which they really shouldn't.

I would be very disappointed if I showed up

at a Broadway theater and I was the one singing,

but you know, what do I know?

What do they know?

Does Hank Azaria speak Spanish?

No, I grew up in a Spanish speaking household.

I understood Spanish until I was a teenager.

And then I lost a lot, but both my parents

are fluent in Spanish.

Okay.

Does Hank Azaria, this question killed me.

Not literally.

Does Hank Azaria have Parkinson's disease?

What a disturbing question.

No, no.

I also don't have, for the record, no Beriberi,

no scurvy, no Legionnaires' disease.

I don't know, I'm hoping that this is because

in the last season of my show Brockmire,

my character had Parkinson's and I like to think

I did a convincing handshake, but I don't,

no, don't have Parkinson's, but thanks for asking.

Now what Hank Azaria.

Can I just answer what Hank Azaria?

What the Hank Azaria's going on here?

I think that should be a new way of expressing ourselves.

What has Hank Azaria been in?

That's a long, that's a long,

I've been at this for 35 years.

So, you got to Google that one.

I'm known for The Bird Cage, The Simpsons.

I was recently on Ray Donovan.

I just finished my show Brockmire. I was on Friends.

I was in Spamalot on Broadway.

I've done a lot of stuff, kids.

What is Hank Azaria doing now?

I just finished my show Brockmire.

Now I have a podcast.

The Jim Brockmire podcast where I interview

the great and near great

in the world of sports and entertainment.

Got Charles Barkley and Ben Stiller and Don Cheadle

and Joe Buck and Colin Coward and Dan Patrick joining us.

I'm also a producer, got many things in development.

Mom, if you're watching this, I've been busy

so get off my case.

What is my ethnicity? Very nice question.

I'm an American Jewish fellow.

My family are Sephardic Jews,

meaning they're originally from Spain.

I mean like back in the 15th century.

And that's why my family is Spanish speaking

because all Sephardic Jews speak a dialect of Spanish

called Ladino which is a fascinating dialect.

It's phonetic Spanish written in Hebrew characters,

Hebrew letters, how about that?

And my family went to Greece for a long time.

I am Jewish by way of Spain by way of Greece.

When Hank Azaria?

This is like a strange newspaper article.

You need the who, what, where, when, why, how, right?

This is like doing this to myself.

So I can't wait to see what the,

when was Hank Azaria nominated for an Oscar?

I remember this very well.

That was the 12th of never, it has never happened.

I should have been nominated like 56 times

but boy that's flattering if that's Googled a lot.

People also have assumed that I've hosted SNL,

but I never did.

So Lauren, if you're watching this, give me a break, please.

Throw me a fricking bone.

When did Hank Azaria join The Simpsons?

The first year that it was a half hour show,

which is back in 1988.

Boy, I was 24, but I auditioned for it originally,

I think I was 22.

The very first one was Mo. That's what I auditioned with.

And then followed quickly by Chief Wiggum.

Those were my first two characters.

Oh, and then, I stopped voicing APU

I really haven't uttered a sound as APU

in about five or six years.

I only announced that I was not doing that

a couple of years ago.

Although Apu has appeared visually on the show,

he hasn't uttered a word in five or six years.

But there's a whole 'nother long story

that I'm sure you can Google if you like.

Now kids, we move on to where Hank Azaria,

much like Where's Waldo.

Where is Hank Azaria in frame? Right here.

Congratulations. You've won.

Where is Hank Azaria from?

I am from New York, specifically Queens,

specifically Forest Hills, New York.

A lot of great people from Forest Hills.

You got Paul Simon, David Caruso,

Ray Romano from my hometown.

We actually, Ray Romano's mom

was my music teacher in Forest Hills.

How about that? All right.

We got, where does Hank Azaria live?

You want my actual address? I'm not giving it to you.

But I moved back to New York about six years ago.

It's our final board, kids.

It's kind of sad. Who Hank Azaria?

Who has Hank Azaria dated?

My goodness, we're getting personal.

A lot of people, lot of people in show business.

I don't know. I don't think I should out them.

There was a while there, I have to be honest,

where if I turned on the TV

I saw a lot of people I dated at one time or another.

I don't know whether I'm proud or ashamed of that,

somewhere in between.

And I've dated many civilians as well.

I once dated a medical examiner,

a woman who did autopsies.

How about that one?

Who did Hank Azaria play on Friends?

I played David, the scientist guy

who was in love with Phoebe.

I got beaten out by the very handsome Paul Rudd,

which I actually was sad about.

I really wanted to end up with Phoebe.

I found out like everybody else,

when I read the script.

I'm like, aww, I don't end up with Phoebe?

But you know, I think she made the right choice.

He went on to be Ant-Man and I went on to be Gargamel,

so, you know.

I played David, the scientist guy on Friends,

but I auditioned to be Joey and spoiler alert,

I didn't get it.

I thought the show was so good.

I was right about that.

But I asked to come back and I was like, I got to go back

and try it again.

And they let me very kindly and then they very quickly

threw me out again.

But then they were nice enough to offer me

David the scientist guy.

Who's Hank Azaria's wife?

My lovely wife, Katie, Katie Wright, Katie Azaria, now.

We have an almost 12 year old son, Hal.

I like to call her a recovering actress, a former actress.

Katie was a really good actress.

She worked a lot.

She played Susan Dey in The Partridge Family movie.

And she was on a spinoff of Beverly Hills 90210

or Melrose Place, I think it was called Malibu Shores.

My favorite of hers though, is she did a Mentos commercial

that you can still catch on YouTube.

All right. I think I did it.

I guess I would ask those questions

if I were Googling myself.

I'm still disturbed by the Parkinson's question.

No, as far as I know I'm disease free,

so thanks for asking.

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