Everyone's talking about: Grumpy ol' Hugh
Do we like Hugh Grant at the moment? I’m never sure.
We do!
Because of his prowess as a nuanced character actor, evidenced in the recent film Heretic?
No. Because he hates backpacks.
Sorry?
And frontpacks.
What’s a fr…
And water bottles.
The snappy sourpuss appears to have dropped his former foppishness. Or is it all just an act?
It sounds as though he’s got a few pet peeves.
A few? He’s got hundreds. ‘I am one enormous pet peeve,’ he said in a TikTok for Absolute Radio. ‘That’s all I do. I walk around the streets peeving.’
Is his ire reserved exclusively for outdoor equipment?
No. In fact the 64-year-old actor told Vanity Fair that the historical figure he most identified with was Scott of the Antarctic.
And how does he view the great explorer?
As ‘an angry, disappointed little man’.
Who is Grant angry and disappointed with, then?
Anyone who works in private equity, tech or London traffic planning, apparently, alongside slow walkers.
So if I really want to annoy Hugh Grant I should amble about with a backpack (on my front), brandishing a water bottle and a copy of The Private Equity Playbook.
But why would you want to annoy Hugh?
I’m upset that he’s morphed from leading man into Victor Meldrew-meets-Larry David.
That’s why we love him! ‘Thinly veiled fury’ is, he says, his most marked characteristic.
What happened to the floppy-fringed guy who said ‘bugger’ a lot?
Dead to us. Comments under his pet-peeves interview include ‘I didn’t know I had so much in common with Hugh Grant’ and ‘I think Hugh Grant just doesn’t like people… and I respect that’.
Is there anything Grant does like?
Heat-resistant barbecue gloves.
Because…
He likes barbecuing, obviously.
Well, that’s nice… isn’t it?
‘I love to undercook chicken and give my family worms,’ the father of five (the youngest of whom is six) told Vanity Fair’s reporter.
Won’t the family turn on him?
He’s not worried. When questioned on how he would like to die, the actor replied, ‘My wife [TV producer Anna Eberstein, 41] has kindly agreed to... shoot me in the back of the head.’
She might just do that when she discovers he’s been snogging a cast member of The Real Housewives of New York.
Steady on!
Pardon?
‘Steady on’ is what Hugh Grant himself tweeted in response to the allegation.
That doesn’t sound like ‘thinly veiled fury’ to me. The mask has slipped!
Are you suggesting that Badass Hugh is just an act?
I refuse to give up on the guy who once said, ‘It seems to me that love is everywhere’.
You do know Love Actually wasn't a documentary, right?
Anyway, what else did he say about snogging the real housewife?
‘I do remember meeting a charming RHNY in a restaurant, but I’d like to stress it was about 15 years ago. I don’t recall… kissing but her memory might be better than mine.’a restaurant, but I’d like to stress it was about 15 years ago. I don’t recall… kissing but her memory might be better than mine.’
Speaking of Love Actually, I heard that recently HG presented an award to writer/director Richard Curtis. Did he manage to capture the cinema legend’s work as a whole?
The words ‘a’ and ‘hole’ were both encompassed in Grant’s description of Curtis.
Shocking! And when will we be treated to the next instalment of Grant’s Gripes?
Just before the Valentine’s Day release of Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy, in which he reprises the role of Daniel Cleaver.
The grumpy-old-git act isn’t hurting his box-office returns, then.
Far from it, but then you know what they say about the secret to a successful movie, don’t you?
Enlighten me.
A Huge Grant.
