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1884 - First case of tourette's is recorded, subject is originally not diagnosed as his tic was incessantly correcting people's grammar.
1942 - Daylight saving time is introduced in America after Congress is led to believe that that lightbulbs steal the sunlight.
1964 - The Beatles make their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, scandalizes prudish American audiences with their protruding foreheads.
1971 - Apollo 14 returns to Earth after the third manned moon landing, brings back a shitload of sexually transmitted moon diseases.
1986 - Halley's Comet visits our solar system, leaves immediately after noticing the Earth starting to warm up.
2025 - You don't notice any symptoms of tourette's on this day, since all the tics were nonverbal, educate yourself fool.

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The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

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Name: Bradaphraser (sometimes uses aliases "Bradley" or "Bradafag")
Crimes: hatred of the white peoples of the world, denial of free speech to said peoples, rogue punchlines, and your mother is a whore
Reward for information regarding the accused: Cherry Cake
Contact: [email protected]

To whom it may concern: I am writing to you today regarding Mr. Nydas, who I understand is applying for a position at your institution. Mr. Nydas is one of the most inspiring students I have ever had the p LOLOLOLOL PENNIS THE MENACE IS MY FAVORITE ACTION FIGURE SHITTY SHITTY BANG BANG LOL LOL WHOAAAAA THEEEEESE IZ KOOL, Y'ALLS leasure to instruct; though deaf, blind, mute and crippled from birth, he has managed to overcome his circumstances and express himself eloquently through his writing. His essays and stories are for him an adventure, an escape from the terribly unfortunate and hopeless reality of his life. Though he knows he is unlikely to survive the next four years, he remains irrepressibly cheerful and determined to become a famous author of children's books. You and I know this will never happen, but when he turns to you with his empty eyes, his face tragically wasted by leprosy, one cannot but root for him in his battle with the cruel, cruel world.

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