Almost everyone will go through feelings of loneliness at some point in life, but knowing how to help your child when they feel isolated and lonely can be both heartbreaking and difficult for parents and carers.
BBC Bitesize Parents' Toolkit, has spoken to the Marmalade Trust, a charity that aims to raise awareness of loneliness and help people make new friendships, to bring you some advice on helping your child cope with loneliness.
What should you look out for if your child is feeling lonely?
Some children may be introverts by nature and might simply prefer to spend more time on their own, rather than be experiencing feelings of loneliness or isolation.
So, we asked Marmalade Trust how, as a parent, you may be able to spot signs that your child is feeling lonely, they told us…
The signs that your child might be feeling lonely can be the same as other concerns that they might be facing, so it's important to firstly exclude any other issues that could be concerning your child.
Children experiencing loneliness can become withdrawn or clingy, or even tearful. They can create imaginary friends, avoid friendships and develop low self-esteem.
When a child feels lonely it can feel like no one is there for them and this cannot always be noticed from their outward appearance. It's not that parents don't care or aren't there to support, it's more likely that they don't know how their child is feeling.
Open and natural conversations in your family will help to facilitate these important discussions.
How should you approach conversations about loneliness?
So, how exactly should you go about approaching conversations about loneliness or isolation with your child? Marmalade Trust told us…
It's important for young people to find a trusted adult they feel comfortable talking to.
Reassure your child that loneliness is a normal human emotion and we all experience it at some point in our lives.
You could try starting a conversation with the whole family, maybe during a family meal, about how you felt a bit lonely at home/work today. This will help to normalise the experience, and open up an opportunity for your child to express their own feelings in a safe environment with an adult they trust.
For very young children - explaining what loneliness is might help them articulate what these feelings mean. This article featuring Dr Radha may help.
For older children, there's advice here - also from Dr Radha.
What are the 'dos and don'ts' of talking about loneliness?
It's important to explore ways of finding a connection with your child that they're comfortable with, so you can work out what they need together.
When talking about loneliness with your child, you may be fearful of saying the wrong thing, or making things worse, so these are some recommendations from the Marmalade Trust about the 'dos and don'ts' of discussing loneliness with your child…
| Dos | Don'ts |
|---|---|
| Acknowledge feeling lonely as a natural human emotion | Feel embarrassed or assume an experience of loneliness will be permanent |
| Use words like 'experience', 'feel' - understand that loneliness come and goes | Use words like 'suffer', 'combat 'or 'end loneliness' |
| Know that it is fixable | Ignore the signs: Visit your GP if you are worried about your child's mental health |
What other things can I access to help guide my child?
The Marmalade Trust website has a great three-step approach for helping your child with feelings of loneliness.
They also recommend things like: audiobooks, safe online games, clubs, playdates, board games, online groups, pastoral care in school and doing things they enjoy.
Other helpful resources
Building Connections from the NSPCC is an online service devoted to empowering young people through loneliness.
CALM, the campaign against living miserably, have advice on loneliness and social isolation.
Mind provides support and advice across a range of topics, including loneliness.
See more from the Marmalade Trust on loneliness.
The NHS have further resources on loneliness you can check out.
BBC Action Line can offer further advice for parents on these issues. And this BBC Mental Wellbeing site has more tips and advice.
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