Late Night With Seth Meyers explains how to “apologize” like a man accused of sexual harassment
Last night, comedian and Late Night With Seth Meyers writer Amber Ruffin demonstrated to Late Night viewers how to apologize like a man who’s been accused...

Late Night With Seth Meyers explains how to “apologize” like a man accused of sexual harassment

Last night, comedian and Late Night With Seth Meyers writer Amber Ruffin demonstrated to Late Night viewers how to apologize like a man who’s been accused of sexual harassment or assault. After joining Meyers onstage to give him a (fake) punch in the face, she set off on a stream of weaselly not-quite-apologies that echo the words of famous men over the past few months. Here are the takeaways, and the lame apologies they are echoing:

Always deny any kind of wrongdoing

“You just punched me in the face!” Meyers protests at the top of the segment.

“I categorically deny those allegations,” Ruffin responds, echoing former Rep. John Conyers. Conyers responded to the accusation that he had sexually harassed a staffer by declaring, “I expressly and vehemently denied the allegations made against me, and continue to do so.“

Explain that you couldn’t have harassed anyone, because you’re a good guy

“Amber, you just punched me,” Meyers says.

“Did I? That doesn’t sound like me,” Ruffin muses. “Anyone who knows me would say that’s very out of character.”

Dustin Hoffman said the same thing after he was accused of sexually harassing an intern, protesting that this behavior was “not reflective of who I am.”

Low-key suggest that your accuser is lying and/or maybe hysterical

“You came in here, you sat down, and you punched me in the face,” Meyers says, to which Ruffin responds, “I remember those events differently.”

Here, she’s channeling Sen. Al Franken, who responded to the first allegation of sexual harassment against him by saying, “I certainly don’t remember the rehearsal for the skit in the same way.”

Place all the responsibility on the victim

Ruffin then says, “I’m sorry,” adding after a meaningful pause, “that your face feels punched.” This particular line is a favorite of many of the men who have been apologizing lately: It allows them to sound like they’re saying sorry while refusing to take any responsibility for what happened.

“I have the utmost respect for women and feel terrible that anything I might have done could have put her in an uncomfortable situation. I am sorry,” said Hoffman.

“The women with whom I worked are smart and good people,” said former New Republic editor Leon Wieseltier. “I am ashamed to know that I made any of them feel demeaned and disrespected.”

“It’s been brought to my attention that I have made some of you feel disrespected or uncomfortable,” said Pixar’s John Lasseter. “That was never my intent.”

“To anyone he has offended,” said a spokesperson for former President George H.W. Bush, “President Bush apologizes most sincerely.”

Suggest that there was a time when people didn’t know it was bad to harass other people

“It was a different time back then!” Ruffin remarks cheerfully.

This line was most famously used by Harvey Weinstein, who explained his multiple decades of allegedly harassing and assaulting employees and colleagues by saying, “I came of age in the 60’s and 70’s, when all the rules about behavior and workplaces were different. That was the culture then.”

Explain that you can’t have hurt women, because you’re pro-woman

“I’ve always been a supporter of faces,” Ruffin tells Meyers. “Some of my best friends have faces.”

Many of the powerful men currently accused of hurting women are fond of whipping out their pro-woman bona fides.

“One year ago, I began organizing a $5 million foundation to give scholarships to women directors at USC,” said Weinstein. “While this might seem coincidental, it has been in the works for a year. It will be named after my mom and I won’t disappoint her.”

Hoffman cited his movie Tootsie as evidence that he is a great friend to women. “I would not have made that movie if I didn’t have an incredible respect for women,” he said. “The theme of the movie is he became a better man by having been a woman.”

But as Ruffin concludes at the end of the sketch, making a bad apology like the ones she mocks only bars you from certain jobs. It might (perhaps temporarily) tank a career as a movie producer or an actor or even as a senator — but apparently it doesn’t disqualify you from running for senator in Alabama, or from being president of the United States.

Watch the full video here

Source: vox.com Late Night Seth Meyers culture sexual harassment sexual assault feminism tv GIFs GIF
Michelle Obama on the toll of racism and sexism: “Small, tiny cuts … every single day”Michelle Obama has opened up about what it was like to deal with racism while living and working in the White House.
While her husband gets most of the credit for...

Michelle Obama on the toll of racism and sexism: “Small, tiny cuts … every single day”

Michelle Obama has opened up about what it was like to deal with racism while living and working in the White House.

While her husband gets most of the credit for breaking political glass ceilings, Obama was a trailblazer in her own right as the first black first lady. Speaking to her time in the White House, Obama revealed that the role opened her up to criticism that often veered into full-on racist insults. In short, punching through all those glass ceilings came at an emotional price.

“The shards that cut me the deepest were the ones that intended to cut,” she told a crowd. “Knowing that after eight years of working really hard for this country, there are still people who won’t see me for what I am because of my skin color.”

Obama specifically referenced how racially charged attacks — like ones that called her an ape and focused on her body — personally hurt her.

It’s a surprising reveal considering how much the Obama family had, during their time in the White House, focused on maintaining poise and positivity. Obama’s speech at the 2016 Democratic National Convention highlighted this approach, as she told the audience, “Our motto is: when they go low, we go high.”

The decision to speak publicly about her feelings and experiences was, Obama said, an effort to remind people they are accountable for their language and actions.

“Women, we endure those cuts in so many ways that we don’t even notice we’re cut,” she said. “We are living with small, tiny cuts, and we are bleeding every single day.”

Obama made her remarks at the Women’s Foundation of Colorado’s 30th anniversary event at the Pepsi Center in Denver, the very place where her husband accepted his nomination as the Democratic presidential candidate in 2008.

Unsurprisingly, Obama turned her candid comments into a call to empowerment. According to the Denver Post, she went on to tell event attendees that despite how deeply those cuts hurt, they go on to heal, and that women who own those wounds and scars can help younger girls who are in the midst of their first cuts.

Speaking directly to younger women, Obama told audience members to not “despair in your teenage years, even if you’re bullied. The best is yet to come. I’m living my best years in my 50s.”

In true Obama fashion, she also spoke to the heart and spirit of not just women but the country as a whole, encouraging Americans not to give up on their nation despite the current polarizing political climate.

“The people in this country are universally good and kind and honest and decent,” she said. “Don’t be afraid of the country you live in. The folks here are good.”

Source: vox.com Michelle Obama feminism racism politics confidence
ccgwrites

Part of what makes Persuasion’s letter scene so swooningly romantic is that it’s structured like the revelation scene in a murder mystery, where the detective lines up all of the suspects and explains exactly who the killer is and how they did it.

We have a problem — in this case, not a dead body with no clear killer, but two people who clearly should be together but are not. We know what the solution should be. In a murder mystery, it’s for the killer to be revealed and face punishment; here, it’s for the two lovers to recognize that they are both in love and reunite.

And the scene keeps inching us toward that end, only to frustrate everything: There are Anne and Wentworth in the same room, but unable to speak to each other because Wentworth is writing a letter. There are Anne and Wentworth recognizing the significance of their past relationship, but unable to speak of it explicitly while in front of other people. There is Anne at last recognizing the strength of her feelings out loud — but can Wentworth hear her? What is he writing? The frustration mounts and mounts until Anne can finally, at last, open the letter, and the reader gets the same satisfaction as knowing whodunit in a murder mystery: At last, all is revealed.

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As a society, we have established a predatory pattern of our own. When powerful men are accused of hurting women, we tend to want to make the accusation go away as quickly as possible. So we ignore them. We accuse the women of lying, or we say that something happened too long ago for anyone to know or remember the details, or we say that the man appears to be genuinely remorseful so why bring up old unpleasantness?

We give the men awards. We buy the art they make. We give them plenty of opportunities to make new art. We do not send them to jail. We hold them up as powerful and important men worth admiring and respecting.

It’s what we did with Woody Allen and Roman Polanski, and Johnny Depp and Mel Gibson and Casey Affleck. It’s what we did with Bill Cosby just this June, when a jury was unable to convict him of rape, despite the fact that he said he gave women drugs and then had sex with them: Cosby’s pervasive image as America’s favorite dad seems to have outweighed all of the evidence arrayed against him, including his own testimony.

And it’s what we’ve done year after year with R. Kelly, since 1994.

Source: vox.com R Kelly culture quotables feminism feminist survivor i believe women

Women have been drugged and raped by men for centuries. This medieval woman fought back — and won.

In southwest England in 1292, Isabella Plomet brings a legal complaint against Ralph de Worgan, a local physician. She alleges that he abused his medical position to drug and rape her.

Drug- or alcohol-facilitated sexual assault is perceived by many as a recent concept, with campuses and anti-rape activists mobilizing to raise awareness. But this remarkable case, recently discovered by medieval historian Gwen Seabourne — with its distant echoes of the Bill Cosby trial — shows how a 13th-century jury recognized sex with an intoxicated person as assault and punished the perpetrator accordingly.

The records suggest that de Worgan was something of a predator. Isabella had originally gone to Ralph complaining of pain in her lower leg. De Worgan was apparently told her that he could cure her, but only if she traveled with him to the neighboring town of Ross-on-Wye. Like a good patient, she obeyed her doctor’s orders — “stuck to his advice” (adhesit consilio, in the original Latin) — and agreed to the trip.

Once they arrived, he gave her a narcotic drink commonly used to anesthetize patients before surgery and told her to drink it. And when Isabella was incapacitated from the drink, Ralph raped her. According to her testimony, recorded in the court record’s summary of the jury’s findings regarding her lawsuit, “Ralph gave her a beverage which he called ‘dwoledreng’ (dwale-drink) to drink. Afterwards he had sex with her against her will.”

It is important to note that Isabella seems to have been unmarried, and the case record contains no mention a husband, father, or brother. Rather, it focuses on the harm done to Isabella herself, “against her will.” And the case hinged on the jury believing her testimony over that of a learned doctor and landowner, even though she was not from a noble or prominent family.

The jury finds Ralph legally responsible for threatening and assaulting her. They order him to pay a hefty fine, the equivalent of one cow or 66 days of work, and they imprison him until he is able to scrounge up the funds to pay it. As Seabourne, a professor of legal history at the University of Bristol, argues in a 2016 article published in Social History of Medicine, the case is extraordinarily significant because it demonstrates that medieval society recognized that sexual assault could be facilitated through intoxication and understood that not all rapes require a weapon or overt physical violence.

How could a 13th-century jury understand what some Americans today fail to grasp?

The jury’s decision shows that intoxication-facilitated sexual assault — central to numerous prominent assault cases in recent years including the Steubenville rape case; the Vanderbilt football team gang rape case; Stanford swimmer Brock Turner’s assault of an unconscious woman; and 14-year-old Daisy Coleman’s rape in Missouri, the subject of the recent Netflix documentary Audrie and Daisy — is not a recent concept spawned by a feminist campaign to police everyone’s drunken fun. Rather, Plomet v. Worgan shows that drugging someone in order to have sex with them has long been viewed as a serious crime. The record does not include whatever argument de Worgan might have made in his defense.

This week, over 700 years after Isabella Plomet’s successful suit against Ralph de Worgan, Bill Cosby goes on trial at Montgomery County Courthouse in Pennsylvania for drugging and assaulting Andrea Constand. Thirteen years ago, in January 2004, Cosby invited Constand to his home to dinner, according to her complaint. He knows Constand through her job as director of women’s basketball operations at Temple University. He is the university’s most famous and generous alumnus, speaking at commencement nearly every year and serving on Temple’s board of trustees, and he considers himself to be Constand’s professional mentor.

That night, Constand voices her mounting stress over the demands of her job; she feels “drained” and “emotionally occupied,” she tells him. Cosby offers her three blue pills with a glass of wine. He tells her that the pills are an herbal supplement to help her relax, and Constand swallows them. Shortly thereafter, in Constand’s words, “I was unable to speak or move; I was paralyzed.” “I can’t even talk, Mr. Cosby,” she tells him. Cosby guides her to a couch, insisting he is helping her lie down and relax, and sexually assaults her instead. When she wakes up, disoriented and half-dressed at four o’clock in the morning, he offers her a blueberry muffin. (Cosby says that the sex was consensual, and has disputed numerous aspects of Constand’s account. He has said the “three pills” were three half-pills of Benadryl, for instance.)

For some reason, I cannot stop thinking about that blueberry muffin, about how and why one would casually give someone a blueberry muffin hours after assaulting them, how someone could be expected to choke down a whole blueberry muffin after waking up groggy with her sweater “bunched up” around her neck and her bra undone. One day I see a trampled blueberry muffin lying on the sidewalk and I think of Bill Cosby and Andrea Constand.

When Constand brings a civil case against Cosby the next year, he settles the case for an undisclosed sum of money, while denying guilt. It is only now, well over a decade after the assault, that the case will finally see a criminal trial.

I am struck by the links between Andrea Constand and Isabella Plomet, separated as they are by 700 years and an ocean, because they demonstrate the long historical sweep of this particular kind of violence, and shed valuable light on how drug-facilitated sexual assault is (or was) handled by two different, but linked, legal systems.

Both Constand and Plomet sought legal action against their assailants despite the uphill battle they faced because they were incapacitated and assaulted, in cultures where intoxicated women are routinely held responsible for the things that men do to them while they are under the influence. (And in cultures where male victims of drug-related sexual assault are often erased from the narrative altogether.)

In the Middle Ages as today, women’s drunkenness was associated with the removal of their capacity to say “no” to sex: As one very popular medieval proverb puts it, “A drunken cunt has no door bar.” And as Chaucer’s Wife of Bath observes, “In wine-filled women is no resistance/ And lechers know this by experience” [In wommen vinolent is no defence—/ This knowen lecchours by experience].

Our own culture is not so very different: Until September 2016, California law stated that assaults in which the victim was intoxicated or unconscious could be given lesser sentences than ones where more overt force or weapons were used. And in April 2016, an Oklahoma court ruled that state law failed to criminalize oral sex with an individual who is unconscious from drinking.

Both Isabella Plomet and Andrea Constand — allegedly, in the latter case — were targeted by men who took advantage of them at particularly vulnerable moments: Constand was drained and suffering from job stress, Plomet in pain from her injured leg. Both were assaulted, or allegedly assaulted, by men close to them who abused their power deliberately to hurt them — Cosby apparently wielding his immense fame as an entertainer as well as his high-ranking role with Constand’s employer, and Worgan misusing his professional position as a healer.

Both women were drugged (or allegedly drugged) by men they trusted, and both were assaulted (or allegedly assaulted) after they had been rendered physically incapable of refusal. And that is one of the cruelest things about intoxication-facilitated assault: Victims are attacked only after the possibility of resisting has been entirely removed from their grasp. It is like moving all the knives just out of reach. The substance is the tight cord used to bind them, the thief that steals the keys to the car that they would have used to escape.

I am also struck by the differences between then and now — which do not conform to the narrative of unbroken progress since the 13th century. Isabella Plomet was awarded monetary compensation by a jury in June 1292 while Andrea Constand’s case took years and years to find its way to a jury. Plomet’s story disrupts our narratives about sexual violence and historical progress.

Nowadays we like to use the term “medieval” to name spectacularly brutal violence, as shorthand for wildly unequal gender relations, for extreme restrictions on women’s sexuality. We imagine that “medieval” means rampant and indiscriminate sexual violence like that on display on Game of Thrones (which is set in a fantasy world, but one with clear roots in European history), peasant women being raped by their feudal overlords in a “first night” ritual, as in Braveheart. We imagine it means women being stoned for adultery, forced to wear chastity belts, unable to prosecute their rapists in court.

We do not think about how the medieval might show us what justice can look like for victims of intoxication-facilitated sexual assault, or how it can teach us strategies by which survivors can seek reparation, or how it can shine harsh floodlights on our own repeated failures to hold perpetrators responsible for their actions. Even members of a long-ago society knew it was a grievous wrong to exploit an individual’s intoxication in order to override their consent and take sexual advantage of them. The medieval is not only a map of where we have been as a culture, showing us the genealogy of our current laws and social attitudes; it is also a mirror that shows us how much we have not yet learned, how very far we still have to go. In this case, I am interested in how the medieval can challenge us to do better, to be more just.

I look forward to justice for Andrea Constand. I await the age-old victim-blaming arguments that Cosby’s lawyers will use to smear and disparage and defame her — she wanted it, she’s a liar, it was consensual, she’s only after his money, she chose to go to his house, she chose to take the pills, she should have known what he was going to do, it’s all her fault.

I hope fiercely that a modern jury will have the discernment that a medieval jury did, that it will recognize that the workings of power and force and violence do not always require a knife or a gun. And I hope even more fiercely that we can do better by the survivors of sexual violence — recognizing, as that 13th-century jury did, that intoxication is no justification for assault. Let us honor Andrea Constand’s bravery — and, before that, Isabella Plomet’s — with righteous action.

Carissa Harris is an assistant professor of English at Temple University specializing in medieval literature.

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It must be said: Many of Clinton’s strengths were hidden by our gendered expectations of leaders — what she was good at would have been important for her presidency, but it is not what 44 male presidents in a row have taught us to expect, or even to see. Anyone who thinks sexism isn’t a force in American politics should have a good answer to the question of why, in a country that’s more than half women, there has never been a female president and, aside from Clinton, no woman has ever come close to winning a major party’s nomination.
Source: vox.com Hillary Clinton Donald Trump sexism feminist feminism quotables politics policy election Ezra Klein
Democratic women just won 2 state-level special elections in red districtsDemocrats running for state legislature in New Hampshire and New York won two seats Tuesday night that had for decades been held by Republicans — victories that national...

Democratic women just won 2 state-level special elections in red districts

Democrats running for state legislature in New Hampshire and New York won two seats Tuesday night that had for decades been held by Republicans — victories that national Democrats heralded as a promising sign for a party that lost ground in statehouses across the country during the Obama era.

In both cases, women led the way.

“We’ve been performing well in a lot of districts and keeping swing districts in Democratic hands, but these are the first legislative pickups of anyone since Trump got elected. So we’re really excited,” said Carolyn Fiddler, a spokesperson the Democratic Legislative Campaign Committee, in an interview. “These are really good indicators of Democratic performance this fall.”

Edie DesMarais, a retired special education instructor, became the first Democrat ever elected in New Hampshire’s town of Wolfeboro, with a narrow 56-vote victory. The first Democrat in 2017 to flip a seat from red to blue, she won a seat for the New Hampshire House in an area that went to Donald Trump by a 51-44 margin, according to the Daily Kos.

Similarly, in New York, high school teacher Christine Pellegrino became the first Democrat to win in her deeply conservative district, which is located along the southern shore of Long Island. Trump won the district by 22 points.

“This is a thunderbolt of resistance,” Pellegrino, 48, told Newsday. “This is for all the supporters and voters who understand a strong progressive agenda is the way forward in New York.”

Ever since the Women’s March the day after the inauguration, women have played a central role in organizing, protesting, and jamming congressional phone lines to oppose Trump’s agenda. (One activist group’s internal poll found that 86 percent of anti-Trump calls to Congress have been placed by women.)

Women are also signing up to run for office in record numbers. The first special election of 2017, in Delaware, was won by Stephanie Hansen, 55. In Virginia, a record number of Democratic candidates in races for the House of Delegates are women, according to Fiddler. Democrats’ candidate in a crucial special election to determine control of the Washington state Senate this fall is a female prosecutor.

The two candidates who won Tuesday night — DesMarais and Pellegrino — are harbingers of a wave of women Democratic candidates crashing into GOP strongholds around the country, Fiddler said.

“These women are part of genuine upswell of women who have decided to run for office this year,” she said. “These activist women candidates have really stepped forward. And they’re winning too.”

All eyes will now turn to Montana, where Democrats are hoping for a much bigger upset in a special election race for the state’s lone congressional seat. Democrat and banjo player Rob Quist faces off against Republican Greg Gianforte on Thursday.

Source: vox.com politics women feminists feminism Democrat elections
An Australian MP breastfed her baby in parliament and everyone was cool about itAn Australian member of parliament just breastfed her two-month-old daughter in the parliament’s chambers and the world did not end.
Larissa Waters, a Green Party member...

An Australian MP breastfed her baby in parliament and everyone was cool about it

An Australian member of parliament just breastfed her two-month-old daughter in the parliament’s chambers and the world did not end.

Larissa Waters, a Green Party member from Queensland, Australia, became the first MP to benefit from a new “family friendly” rules change made in February 2016 for Australian parliamentarians.

That rule specifically allowed breastfeeding MPs to bring their infants into the chamber of parliament — and, obviously, feed them. Prior to that ruling, because children were banned from entering the chamber, breastfeeding mothers were often forced to miss out on important parliamentary duties and had to delegate their voting power to other members to vote in their absence.

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When the Australian parliament vote passed last February, the Leader of the House Christopher Pyne told press the rule would ensure that “No member, male or female, will ever be prevented from participating fully in the operation of the Parliament by reason of having the care of a baby.“

The opposition leader, Tony Burke, was also on board. “It’ll be a long time, and possibly never, before this job is truly family-friendly, but this is a significant way of trying to improve,” Burke said upon the law’s passage.

It may have been a first for Australia, but a handful of worldwide parliamentarians have also tried, of late, to meet the needs of new infants with their government duties — to mixed effect.

When Spanish MP Carolina Benscansa breastfed her son in parliament last year, a conservative parliamentarian accused her of taking a “lamentable” action, and a socialist MP called it “unnecessary.”

In October 2016, Icelandic Parliamentary member Unnur Brá Konráðsdóttir not only fed her child in parliament — she brought the infant, still feeding, up to the podium and spoke. Her colleagues didn’t seem to mind one bit. Later she said that her daughter “was hungry, and I wasn’t expecting to speak, so I started feeding her.” Taking her off the breast, she said, would have made the child cry — and thus been far more disruptive.

And back in 2010, Licia Ronzulli brought her daughter — then seven weeks — into a vote in the European parliament. She was widely lauded for continuing to bond with the baby. Ronzulli was bemused at the time: “It’s bizarre. We’ve been doing a lot, a lot of work in the European parliament and there was no interest in the press,” she said. “Then I come with my baby and everybody wants to interview me.” She also told reporters that her original choice was not a "political gesture but a maternal one.”

Since then, the Italian politician has brought her daughter to work several times, and it has been well-documented. And it’s not just Europe — in Argentina, Victoria Donda Perezbreastfed her eight-month-old in parliament, and the reactions were mostly supportive.

One place where it’s not happening is the United States.

Source: vox.com feminism feminist breastfeeding mom momlife newmom women who work policy world Australia Parliament new
You can’t have human rights for women unless you have human rights. Think of that. You cannot. Because unless you decide that women are some class of nonhuman beings and should have special treatment, then you have to have a general category of human rights, which includes women as human beings.
Source: vox.com Margaret Atwood author writing the handmaid's tale interview culture feminism feminist