Talk:Thelma Carpenter (billiards player)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 13:33, 30 August 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: WikiOriginal-9 (talk · contribs) 19:32, 5 November 2024 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Comments:

• I created her commonscat and added it to the article.
  • Thanks.
• "She met prominent snooker and billiards players including Joe Davis and Clark McConachy when" put commas as noted "She met prominent snooker and billiards players, including Joe Davis and Clark McConachy, when"
  • Done.
• "although he may have regretted this" Source is offline so I'll trust that it says that.
  • Trelford wrote "He was too gallant (or too stubborn or too shy) to ask for it back when he realized, as he soon did, what a terrible mistake he had made."
• "McConachy, who would become" change to "McConachy, who became"
• "When training, she would practise and play" changed to "When training, she practised and played"
  • Amended article per the two points above
• "helped with forcing and screw shots" What's forcing mean? Is there a link for that at Cue sports techniques or Glossary of cue sports terms?
  • now linked to Glossary of cue sports terms
• "controlling the amateur and professional English billiards and snooker" Snooker is mentioned earlier in the body so it should be linked there instead.
  • Done.
• "that no permissions would be granted where tournaments differentiated between men and women" What's a permission mean in this regard?
  • I've added a clipping about this, and reworded.
• "the WBA had affiliated to the Billiards and Snooker Control Council" sorry but I'm not sure what that means.
  • Amended to "formally associated with"
• "Carpenter accepted an invitation to play in the professional championship" is that the Women's Professional Billiards Championship?
  • Yes, amended. (She also played in the Snooker Championship, but the source refers specificially to being invited to the Billiards event.
• "in the Billiards final" Women's Professional Billiards Championship is linked here but that is linked earlier.

• I've removed various dupicate links - except for the one at "World Women's Billiards Championship" as I think this is still useful.

• Same for "The 1950 Billiards final"
• "once to Gardner in the Women's" write out and link her full name.
• "beat Gardner 3,120–2,518 to" unlink Gardner here after you do the above
• "1949 also saw Carpenter lose for the fourth time in the Snooker final" Women's Professional Snooker Championship is linked here but that's linked earlier.
• "A few days later, Carpenter won the Snooker Championship too" that is linked earlier
  • Amended article per the four points above.
• This is probably picky but is there a source for the note that says "No contest was held between 1940 and 1947".
  • Added.
• In lead: "was an English player of English billiards and snooker player" remove player after snooker
  • Done
• Is that image actually copyrighted? 1933 is kinda old.
  • Had another look and I think it is legitimately PD, so I've amended that.
• Some of the stuff like "Birmingham Gazette" in the reference section could probably be linked

• Linked where I could.

• Couldn't find birth place or death place I presume?
  • No, I tried searching her name with "was born" but not luck, and apart from the one obituary I couldn't find anything else about her death.

Spot checks:

• "Big Breaks, Battles and Pneumonia: The Unsung Story of Thelma Carpenter's Glistening Cue-Sport Career". West of England Billiards and Snooker Foundation. 17 August 2019
  • The article says "She was educated at home and never attended school" but I can't seem to find that in the ref?
    • Unfortunately the IP editor's copyedit removed the relevant ref after this statement - I've added it back, with a clipping.
  • Article says "She started playing billiards in 1926" but I can't find that in the ref?
    • This was based on the source saying it was "some five years earlier" than 1931, but I've amended it to just say her age (which is stated explicitly in the Nottingham Journal source).
  • Article says "Carpenter's father, Brodie Carpenter, owned the Solent Cliffs Hotel in Bournemouth, which had two billiards rooms" I don't see that either.
    • Unfortunately the IP editor's copyedit removed the relevant ref after this statement - I've added it back, with a clipping.
  • Article says "She married Jimmy Seeor in 1939 and the following year gave birth to a son" Don't see that
    • Ref added
  • Article says "He added that Carpenter's billiards academy for women, which she opened on 1 October 1934" I don't see the opening date in the ref.
    • It's in Carpenter's article in The Billiard Player.
  • Everything else for that ref looks good.

• "World Ladies Billiards Champions". World Billiards. 22 June 2015
  • Looks good.

• "Saturday Contrast: 4". BBC Programme Index. 19 December 1936
  • Looks good.

• "Billiards". BBC Programme Index. 19 July 1947
  • Looks good.

• "Nomination Billiards". BBC Programme Index. 19 December 1936
  • "and again the following year when her match against Harrison was broadcast" I don't see that in the ref?
    • Ah, I see it was a Radio programme. Amended.

Excellent research. Great article! ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 19:32, 5 November 2024 (UTC)

Thanks for your very helpful review, WikiOriginal-9. Apologies for the delay in responding. Let me know if anything else is needed. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:35, 17 November 2024 (UTC)

Looks good. Nice work! ~WikiOriginal-9~ (talk) 13:53, 18 November 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.