The Last Girl Scout

by Natalie Ironside

Wow, I was blown away. I'll be honest I bought it, because it has trans representation. I don't care for the Zombie/Horror genre. Luckily, this was a book about people and their relationships, with an occasional bit of nod to genre or trope. Warning, this is not a light heated run the countryside. I had to stop reading a couple of times, because I didn't want anything to happen to the characters. There is no drama without loss. No success without risk, no redemption without sin and no forgiveness without love. I can't wait to read more. @natalieironside

That's the goodread's review.

The tumblr review: Holyshit, queer communists and anarchists fighting facists. Queer and trans love. And occasional node to those of you that have been here, if you watch for it. Someone that knows how to write, understands that you have to write from your heart and your lived experience. A grasp of the politics that is far more nuanced that will appear to most people. I had bought this for a while before reading it. Zombies are not my deal. I bought it to support the author, because I could at the time. (My life is a roller coaster, money or time, but not both). When I picked it up I didn't want to stop reading, except when I was afraid. Some tropes in media are so conditioned, I didn't want to continue. But I'm glad I did, because people can find redemption. The worlds of younger people than me (I'm 51), don't have to be the worlds created today both fiction and reality. I'm trying to be a little vague. But I really enjoyed the book, and looking forward to future writings, and hope to see great things from Natalie Ironside. Oh and ya'll should buy her book and read it. And if she see's this, maybe she'll plug her other works, including her new book.

Oh goodness, thank you so much <3 This is lovely.

And I have no shame so I think I will plug my other works

long distance relationship

dear americans,

as a polish queer woman and human rights activist, i know exactly how you're feeling right now and what to expect from these elections. i lived through the 2015-2023 regime of pis, a right-wing populist party that divided families in the same way trump did. i’ve experienced the rise of fascism in poland, the influence of far-right parties like konfederacja, and their “santa’s little helpers”—ordo iuris, an ultra-conservative catholic organization (banned in many countries, mind you) that helped enforce a near-total abortion ban and runs anti-queer campaigns in public spaces. i supported the black protests in 2016 as a middle schooler when they first tried to ban abortion. as an adult, i actively participated in the 2020 women’s strike, running from police tear gas daily after they finally passed the ban. i supported friends who faced charges.

i’ve lived through intense homophobia in poland as a queer teen and adult. i survived the first pride march in my hometown, where far-right extremists threw stones and glass at us. i endured the anti-queer propaganda spread by the ruling party in state-owned media. i survived the “rainbow night,” poland’s own stonewall moment in summer 2020, when police arrested around 50 queer activists following the arrest of margo, a nonbinary activist. i survived the "lgbt-free zones," the targeted violence, the slurs from strangers on the street, and the protests i held against queerphobia. it was hard as fuck, but i survived.

but just because i survived, it doesn’t mean others did. many women died because of the abortion ban—marta, justyna, izabela, dorota, joanna, maria, and many others who didn’t survive pis’s draconian anti-abortion laws. milo, kacper, michał, zuzia (she was 12), wiktor, and other queer and trans kids and young adults took their own lives because of the relentless queerphobia.

despite all of this, our experience in poland can serve as a guide now. here are some tips for staying safe and how we, polish queers and women, organized under the regime:

if i forgot to (or didn't) include something, don't hesitate to reblog this post with other resources.

If you're new to having to think about your security, this walk through of how to develop a security plan is pretty good.

Y'know, a lot of people have theorized.

Yet far fewer have hypothesized.

nearly all libraries have a ghost, but medical libraries frequently have a ghost and a skeleton

i’ve been reminded that most people don’t know about the ghost

‘ghost reading’ means collecting usage stats for books which are used within the library, without being checked out (which would automatically generate usage data).

This is often done by checking out the book to a dummy user account belonging to The Library Ghost before it’s reshelved. (After being returned ofc. Ghosts read very fast.)

Due to ghost reading, most libraries ask that you do not return books to the shelves yourself, even if you’re confident of where they go - there will instead be somewhere they’ll ask you to leave them (or just leave them out on a surface somewhere) so they can be collected and ghost read.

I knew about leaving books out after you read them, but I didn't know about the ghost account thing! Thank you for explaining that 👍

Certified Library Post

Attention Pennsylvania voters!

Senator Bob Casey’s race is now at a margin of 0.53%.

An automatic recount in PA is triggered with a margin of 0.5%. That’s a difference of 0.03% or a little over 2,000 votes. We need to make sure every ballot is counted here, and there’s thousands of uncounted ballots right now due to voter error.

Did you mail in a ballot? Check to see it was accepted here:

If it says anything other than accepted/counted/etc, your ballot needs your attention. A mistake in filling it out means that your ballot will not count unless you “cure” it. Check your county’s curing policies:

See full instructions for curing by county here.

You have until November 12 to cure your ballot in PA.

Do you know someone who mailed in a PA ballot? Please pass these links on to them. You may be the difference between their vote counting or not in a super close race.

Everyone else, you can help PA voters cure their ballots. If you live in Pennsylvania, you can help canvass in your county (see links in this thread). If you are in another state, you can sign up to call voters and help them cure by phone.

Want to help another state? Sign up for a shift through November 19.

Here's a legal PSA:

If you've committed a crime and a detective gathers everyone involved in the room, especially if he's not actually a detective and is instead a novelist, puzzle-setter, psychic, fake psychic, dog, chess grandmaster, etc. ...

YOU SHOULD NOT CONFESS.

Every year, hundreds of people are put away by non-traditional "detectives" who have either inserted themselves into the case or are working with the police in a dubiously legal capacity as advisor. In 99% of these cases, the murderer gives a full confession even though the evidence against them is circumstantial at best and often requires a long just-so story which can only guess at motive.

If this happens to you, stay quiet, do not attempt to defend yourself or talk your way out of it, only say "I want a lawyer".

Now if you find yourself being investigated by a boy genius, magician's assistant, anthropologist, classics scholar, or philosopher, it's likely that refusing to talk to the police (or investigator with no legal authority) is merely the end of the second act, and by the end of the third act they will have you dead to rights.

YOU SHOULD STILL NOT CONFESS.

Make them take it to court. Force the eccentric detective and his straight-laced police partner to take the stand and explain their methods to a jury of your peers. Have your lawyer look at the chain of custody on the evidence, especially if you believe it to have been handled by someone who has only bumbled into detective work through their natural charm and/or unique set of skills and outsider perspective that come in handy more often than they should.

Know your rights. Don't let eccentric detectives put you away.

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

I wanna be the Rodney Dangerfield of trans woman dick jokes, I wanna stand up on stage and be like "I just get dicks respected."

Wearing the same bad suit and tugging my necktie down like "ah, my wife left me, y'know. Well they didn't leave me, they left their gender, we're still married I just don't got no wife anymore! I can't blame them though, can't blame em, after all, I'm not the man they married."

I think Rodney would appreciate transgender jokes.

"This gig, this gig such disrespect they pay peanuts they said they pay in exposure, I said that's indecent! All kinds a disrespect, I said fine I'll get paid in exposure and got a job as an adult dancer. Fired my first night, turns out they meant dance around the pole on stage not swing around the pole in my thong. I can't get any respect I tell ya."

"It's rough out there, the economy is rough. They say they only constants are death and taxes just to let you know what you got to look forward to, that's how rough it is. Just my luck, my name died and I still gotta pay taxes! No respect at all."

"They named me after my dad but he kept sayin I took after my mother. I called him up like hey dad, peer pressure really works! He was supportive though real supportive dad but even supportive y'know you get presents just like your parents' idea of what you want. I liked dinosaurs, got dinosaur underwear for a year. Now my dad sends me dinosaur stripper heels every birthday. He tries, the guy."

"I used to work at a bookstore, y'know, they got a self-help book for everything, find the right woman this, find yourself that. Look at me, I'm doing both at once. But listen, these guys all trying to sell ya self improvement. Buddy, I need self renovation. I found eight books on downstairs remodeling but lemme tell ya it wasn't what I hoped for. I can't catch a break. I got a ventriloquism book to throw my voice but it just came back. No help at all."

"My best friend grew up in Cockeysville, then he moved to Gelding Drive. I'm like buddy, you're over there livin my dream. Great pal, has a whole great polyamory thing goin y'know? He grew up and got a house with a yard and a dog and a white picket fence and a kid and two and a half wives. It's not easy bein polyamorous lemme tell ya. You go on dating sites they wanna know if you're lookin for long term short term, I'm like hey right now I'm lookin for anyone who can organize a day planner!"

"It's rough, this city is so rough you see the potholes out there? I cut a fart while I'm driving it sounds like a helicopter takin off. Even the mechanics can't help, the other day in the shop he was like hey for a grand this car could look and feel new! I asked yeah what about me and he said I don't do antiques. The doctor's no better, I went in the office like hey doc, how's it look down there. She said, gimme a minute, I never worked on one a these models before."

I'm too open, always talkin about sex and dicks, but I got no filter, see? The other day at a bar someone said "bottoms up!" so I climbed onto the pool table an asked where she wants me. That's okay, y'know, bein a slut is the best job ever. I get ta work lyin down and everyone calls me princess.

I'm clumsy too, you wouldn't believe it. I punched myself in the face tryin to open a jar of pickles. I almost died cutting myself with my own nails tryin to brush my teeth. I'm so clumsy OSHA put out a restraining order on me, I'm not allowed within 50 feet of heavy machinery. I'm so clumsy my doctors won't stop askin me if I feel safe at home.

cipher, i am literally begging you to put together a burlesque act where you strip out of your dangerfield layers while telling these jokes.

Okay so first, I have got my full Randy Dangerfield costume together already, I just need to practice a bit and try to figure out how the open mic stuff works because it's so confusing. Second, if we can afford it, my nonbinary wife wants to do burlesque lessons together. So.

"It's tough bein trans out there, real tough. We were so poor when we came out I hadda get a hand me down gender. My wife was like, I'm not using mine anyway, have it. You know, it's a little dinged up, needs a little polish and bondo, but it's a classic. So now my agender wife don't got a gender no more. Well, there's a gender on their drivers license, but they're non-practicing."

"Comin out is tough too. I was real nervous tellin my dad because he's kinda old, conservative. I was like dad I'm a woman and he goes Yeah that happens. Didn't even pause his dinner or nothing. I'm like gee dad I was worried I'd be a disappointment or something and he's like well I wish you were a lawyer but whatever makes you happy."

"Polyamory ain't all it's cracked up to be either, I tell ya, I got girlfriends in different time zones and enough money for half a bus pass. I tried to mail myself but the prices were still ridiculous. C'mon buddy, cut me a break, I thought you charged less for small packages."

"Bein a trans woman isn't easy, lemme tell ya there's stigma bein trans, everyone judges how I look. I can't catch a break with it, I complain to my partner, they're like, I thought you liked when I stigma cock in your mouth. Like, okay no I mean I'm stigmatized and my partner they go like okay I guess we can try it in the eyes too, if you want."

"I was never that well endowed, ya know, not on my best day, and you add a few years of HRT in lemme tell ya, it's like a retractable measuring tape down there. The other day I went to my doctor like Doc, I said, whaddaya think bottom surgery's gonna cost me. He looked down and he said lemme refer you to a dermatologist for pimple removal."

Sex workers are amazing, I tell ya, I tried it but I just wasn't organized enough. I asked a friend, they said "Have you tried spreadsheets?" Are you kidding, spread sheets is where the whole thing started. Then they said, no spreadsheets on a computer but how'm I supposed to use the webcam then? It's not for me, that's okay, I guess all my sex these days is between me, my partners, and the NSA.

I was talkin to my wife the other day I said, the only way I'm getting bottom surgery is under socialism. They said why, because of redistribution of wealth? I says no, because it's redistribution of penis. They said what're ya talkin about you're already redistributin your penis to half the trans community.

Polyamory's great though, it's wonderful to have other people to lean on. One time I went in a coma. My wife was going outta her mind til she could find one of my partners to make a "girlfriend in a coma" joke with. I love em all, they're great, all my partners, they take such good care of me, they do so much they unionized about it. Now anytime we fuck I get fined by the NLRB for union busting.

Dating still ain't easy though, lemme tell ya. I said I gotta great sense of humor, I get a message telling me that's good coz I look like a joke. But no, I do alright. I just got my name changed to Twenty Bucks, now I get passed around between every trans woman on the internet.

Something else I'll tell ya about polyamory, you work three times as hard at cooking, cuz everyone's got dietary needs and you wanna feed em right, ya know? I mean people allergic to potatoes, to wheat, to onions, all of it. Once I even dated someone lactose intolerant who didn't eat cheese.

Lemme tell ya, my wife and I been together now fifteen years and I love em so much. I love my wife, they're asexual, ya know, so don't let no one tell ya you can't have a long and loving relationship if you're ace okay? I'd tell ya more but I can't cuz of the non-disclothe her agreement.

Getting organized, it ain't easy, I'd lose my dick if it weren't attached, talk about a mixed blessing. Lemme tell ya, they say a new bottom surgery dropped, sure, right through the sewer grate. Now what.

But hey, you think I'm disorganized, guys out there, they go "whose dick do I gotta suck to getta table in this place, whose dick to I gotta suck to get a parking space, whose dick-" Buddy, lemme tell ya, if you don't already know, you ain't got a prayer. These guys, I tell ya. Not me, I got free parking everywhere because I know whose dick I gotta suck.

I mean, everywhere I go, girls, y'know we sometimes go to they bathroom together, girls like us. When I sit down in the stall, girls I don't even know roll up in the stall next door and ask if I wanna good parking space. I gotta start carrying a can opener everywhere for them metal bathroom stall walls. I tell ya.

Fired after three months on my construction gig for breaking the fourth wall.

Re-hired after my foreman understood I did it for tumblr clout.

Apparently he thinks tumblr is some kind of darkweb site.

He wants to know how to hire someone to kill his wife. This is feeling increasingly morally tenuous.

This motherfucker let me spend ten minutes suggesting marriage counselors he could talk to before he told me about the snuff kink he and his wife have, boy I feel stupid.

Anyway I'm heading over to their place after work, with a box of giant sized trashbags and an angle grinder. Gonna make me an easy fifty bucks.

Fired after three months on my construction gig for breaking the fourth wall.

Re-hired after my foreman understood I did it for tumblr clout.

Apparently he thinks tumblr is some kind of darkweb site.

He wants to know how to hire someone to kill his wife. This is feeling increasingly morally tenuous.

This motherfucker let me spend ten minutes suggesting marriage counselors he could talk to before he told me about the snuff kink he and his wife have, boy I feel stupid.

Fired after three months on my construction gig for breaking the fourth wall.

Re-hired after my foreman understood I did it for tumblr clout.

Apparently he thinks tumblr is some kind of darkweb site.

He wants to know how to hire someone to kill his wife. This is feeling increasingly morally tenuous.

Fired after three months on my construction gig for breaking the fourth wall.

Re-hired after my foreman understood I did it for tumblr clout.

Apparently he thinks tumblr is some kind of darkweb site.

Fired after three months on my construction gig for breaking the fourth wall.

Re-hired after my foreman understood I did it for tumblr clout.