Mary Ann Sieghart (Why do some men behave badly? I think I have the answer, 6 December) argues that one of the main reasons why some men behave inappropriately is because of a power imbalance. She cites research evidence that a sense of male superiority and entitlement starts early – in parental attitudes and teacher behaviour. I found her arguments partly, but not totally, convincing. The studies she cites about gender socialisation and classroom interaction have been around since the 1980s (eg Dale Spender and Elizabeth Sarah’s Learning to Lose: Sexism and Education, 1980), including my own research. It’s pretty depressing that little has changed since then.
But while these findings may help to explain why many women still face problems in career progression – and why women in junior positions may hesitate to highlight men’s sexist behaviour – I don’t think they explain why some men engage in outrageous sexual harassment.
It’s too easy to blame parents and teachers, but responsibility lies with the men themselves, and with other men not calling them out. Men often close ranks in protecting their colleagues even when their behaviour tips over into abuse and, in some cases, violence. Look at the cover-up by (holy) men in high places of the serial child abuser John Smyth.
It shouldn’t be up to women to be the first to report inappropriate behaviour. The fact that they are often ignored shows that the power imbalance between men and women is still strong. But in Gregg Wallace’s case, where were the men telling him to shut up and stop?
Vivienne Griffiths
Emeritus professor of education, Canterbury Christ Church University
I do not in any way dispute the fact that some men have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement and behave badly. However, based on many years of observing mothers, and being one, I think it is high time that women examined their own behaviour towards their sons. Too often, mums treat their sons like princes from the off, pick up after them and don’t ask them to share domestic tasks or look after themselves. It’s almost as if they are setting their sons up to fail in their future relationships so that they remain the most important person in their lives. Let’s have a discussion around that if we want our boys to behave well as men.
Sue Harris
Bath
I have seen these traits many times in 46 years at 17 companies. I was brought up in a family where we were taught to be respectful, but left in no doubt that my mother and sister were the stars of the show. They were cleverer than us four boys and wonderful humans. In my experience, mothers and female bosses are even more protective of bad boys and fail to see the damage they do. I’ve had many female bosses and they are much stricter on women and the bad boys feed off this. It happens in school playgrounds right through to the boardroom. In these circumstances, men need to hold these bad boys to account. I have done this on several occasions and, like most bullies, they go crying to their mummy/boss.
Peter Chapman
Adlington, Lancashire
I have worked in male-dominated industries for most of my working life (Editorial, 2 December). I started as an apprentice in the steel industry in 2011. In every job, I have either been the only female or in a very significant minority.
Sexually aggressive language and “banter” is pervasive. Although the vast majority of this banter stops with jokes and laughter, this environment has also provided cover for the minority of genuinely creepy men.
I have been asked in rooms full of men questions such as how many times I masturbate. If all the blokes are talking about wanking, it’s only fair to ask the only woman about it too, right? The problem is, it’s not a level playing field. In a room full of men, the majority may think that a woman talking about wanking is funny, but it’s likely that at least one of the blokes may be getting off on it.
It is interesting that Gregg Wallace brought up class in his defence. Since moving to a more traditional, middle-class office job, I have found the environment to be in stark contrast to the more traditional working-class roles in which I started my career. The danger of treating Wallace as an aberration is that many men will recognise themselves in the context of his inappropriate banter and feel victimised. It is critical that this conversation does not become another divisive culture war topic.
Name and address supplied
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