The Best 'Office Space' Quotes
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The Best 'Office Space' Quotes

Movie and TV Quotes
Updated June 7, 2024 25.6K views 25 items
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Few movies poke fun at corporate life better than the 1999 comedy Office Space. The Y2K film starring Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, and David Herman, depicts a jaded software engineer’s unconventional rebellion against his boss. Office Space is a treasure trove of one-liners, so, if you could just grab your stapler and a cup of coffee and scroll through this list… that would be great.

One of the funniest and most quotable lines in the movie sums up Bill Lumbergh, the villainous boss who pushes the protagonist, Peter Gibbons, over the edge. Bill’s line: “So, if you could do that, that would be great,” notoriously follows his passive-aggressive, unreasonable demands, making it the perfect courtesy close for a cringey request.

Then there’s the part when Peter charms “the Bobs,” corporate consultants hired to make Initech more efficient. When Bob Porter states, “Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately,” Peter replies, “Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been missing it, Bob.” Peter garners chuckles and a promotion with this clever display of apathy and wordplay, making this one of the most memorable Office Space sayings.

So, yeah, we’re gonna need you to go ahead and choose your favorite Office Space movie quotes now. Just go ahead and vote for the one you want to see at the top… mmmk?
 

  • You've Been Missing
    1

    You've Been Missing

    Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.

    Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been missing it, Bob.

     

    128 votes
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  • That Would Be Great
    2

    That Would Be Great

    Bill Lumbergh: So, if you could do that, that would be great...

     

    92 votes
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  • Eight, Bob
    3

    Eight, Bob

    Peter Gibbons: You see, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't even care.

    Bob Porter: Don't- don't care?

    Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my *ss off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.

    Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?

    Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses, Bob.

    Bob Porter: Eight?

    Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

     

    98 votes
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  • Just Gonna Stop Going
    4

    Just Gonna Stop Going

    Joanna: So, where do you work, Peter?

    Peter Gibbons: Initech.

    Joanna: Ini- yeah, what do you do there?

    Peter Gibbons: I sit in a cubicle and I update bank software for the 2000 switch.

    Joanna: What's that?

    Peter Gibbons: Well see, they wrote all this bank software, and, uh, to save space, they used two digits for the date instead of four. So, like, 98 instead of 1998? Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code and, uh... it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.

    Joanna: You're just not gonna go?

    Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

    Joanna: Won't you get fired?

    Peter Gibbons: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go.

    Joanna: So you're gonna quit?

    Peter Gibbons: Nuh-uh. Not really. Uh, I'm just gonna stop going.

    Joanna: When did you decide all that?

    Peter Gibbons: About an hour ago.

    Joanna: Oh, really? About an hour ago... so you're gonna get another job?

    Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'd like another job.

    Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and...

    Peter Gibbons: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either.

    Joanna: Well, so what do you wanna do?

    Peter Gibbons: I wanna take you out to dinner, and then I wanna go back to my apartment and watch Kung Fu. Do you ever watch Kung Fu?

    Joanna: I love Kung Fu.

    Peter Gibbons: Channel 39.

    Joanna: Totally.

    Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch Kung Fu tonight.

    Joanna: Okay, Okay, can we order lunch first? Okay?

     

    57 votes
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  • Absolutely Nothing
    5

    Absolutely Nothing

    Peter Gibbons: I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I thought it could be.

     

    98 votes
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  • My Stapler
    6

    My Stapler

    Milton Waddams: Y-- Excuse me. You-- I believe you have my stapler?

     

    94 votes
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  • PC Load Letter
    7

    PC Load Letter

    Michael Bolton: PC LOAD LETTER? What the f*ck does that mean?

    70 votes
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  • That's Messed Up
    8

    That's Messed Up

    Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

    Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

    Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

    Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

     

    42 votes
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  • Don't Have a Lot of Time
    9

    Don't Have a Lot of Time

    Peter Gibbons: We don't have a lot of time on this Earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way! Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements!

     

    41 votes
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  • Hope All The Firings Go Well
    10

    Hope All The Firings Go Well

    Bob Slydell: Would you bear with me for just a second here.

    Peter Gibbons: Okay.

    Bob Slydell: What if - and believe me this is hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?

    Peter Gibbons: I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both you guys.

    Bob Slydell: Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.

    Peter Gibbons: Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really, really well.

    Bob Porter: Excellent.

    Bob Slydell: Great. Wow.

     

    63 votes
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  • Saying Somethin'
    11

    Saying Somethin'

    Lawrence: No. No, man. Sh*t, no, man. I believe you'd get your *ss kicked sayin' something like that, man.

     

    37 votes
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  • Winning Grammys
    12

    Winning Grammys

    Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it.. until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent *ss clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

     

    48 votes
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  • C*ckgobblers
    13

    C*ckgobblers

    Michael Bolton: C*ckgobblers!

     

    29 votes
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  • Come In On Sunday
    14

    Come In On Sunday

    Bill Lumbergh: Ah, ah, I almost forgot... I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We, uhhh, lost some people this week and we sorta need to play catch-up. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaanks.

    29 votes
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  • F*ckin' A
    15

    F*ckin' A

    Lawrence: F*ckin' A, man. F*ckin' A!

     

    42 votes
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  • The Crippled Children
    16

    The Crippled Children

    Peter Gibbons: Alright so when the sub routine compounds the interest it uses all these extra decimal places that just get rounded off. So we simplified the whole thing, we rounded them all down, drop the remainder into an account we opened.

    Joanna: So you're stealing?

    Peter Gibbons: Ah no, you don't understand. It's very complicated. It's uh it's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny here. And over time they add up to a lot.

    Joanna: Oh okay. So you're gonna be making a lot of money, right?

    Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

    Joanna: Right. It's not yours?

    Peter Gibbons: Well it becomes ours.

    Joanna: How is that not stealing?

    Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'm explaining this very well.

    Joanna: Okay.

    Peter Gibbons: Um... the 7-11. You take a penny from the tray, right?

    Joanna: From the crippled children?

    Peter Gibbons: No that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray. You know the pennies that are for everybody?

    Joanna: Oh, for everybody. Okay.

    Peter Gibbons: Well those are whole pennies, right? I'm just talking about fractions of a penny here. But we do it from a much bigger tray and we do it a couple a million times.

     

    31 votes
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  • Ya Do Here
    17

    Ya Do Here

    Bob Slydell: What would ya say...ya do here?

     

    61 votes
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  • TPS Reports
    18

    TPS Reports

    Bill Lumbergh: I'm going to need those TPS reports... ASAP.

    49 votes
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  • Paper Jam
    19

    Paper Jam

    Samir Nagheenanajar: Why does it say "Paper Jam" when there IS no paper jam?!

     

    35 votes
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  • Hey Peter
    20

    Hey Peter

    Bill Lumbergh: Hey Peter. What's happenin'?

     

    34 votes
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  • I Am Also
    21

    I Am Also

    Samir Nagheenanajar: Yes, I am also not a p*ssy.

     

    24 votes
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  • I Just!
    22

    I Just!

    Samir Nagheenanajar: Mother sh*tter, son of an *ss! You, I just!

     

    23 votes
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  • Armed
    23

    Armed

    Michael Bolton: That thing's lucky I'm not armed.

     

    31 votes
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  • The Resurrection
    24

    The Resurrection

    Samir Nagheenanajar: Back up in your *ss with the resurrection.

    21 votes
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  • Channel Nine
    25

    Channel Nine

    Lawrence: Hey, Peter man! Check out channel nine. It's the breast exams. Whoo!

     

    32 votes
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