Nearly 1-in-3 Americans Getting a 'Sleep Divorce'

Do you share a bed with your partner? Increasingly, Americans are saying no.

A new survey of more than 2,000 adults, conducted by the leading body of sleep research in the U.S., the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, has found that 29 percent of Americans—or nearly one in three—choose to sleep in a separate bed to their partner, a concept many have described as a "sleep divorce."

"The term might sound alarming, but it's not about ending a relationship," Seema Khosla, a spokesperson for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, said in a statement. "It's about prioritizing sleep health and addressing the sleep issues that may be eroding a relationship, such as snoring, tossing and turning, or differing sleep schedules. A sleep divorce is not a sign of a relationship in trouble—it allows for honest conversation about disruptive habits and allows each person to enjoy uninterrupted, restorative sleep."

The Khosla and colleagues conducted their online survey in May 2024.

Breaking down the results, 13 percent of those surveyed slept in a separate bed in the same bedroom as their partner, while 21 percent slept in another room altogether. 33 percent said they went to sleep at a different time than they would like to because of their partner and in total over half of those surveyed said they adjusted their sleep routine to accommodate their partner.

Sleep divorce was particularly prevalent among 25 to 34 year-olds and among male participants.

Sharing a bed with your partner can offer a sense of security and comfort. However, for those of us with bed partners who snore, fidget and steal the sheets, sleeping in the same bed can lead to bad sleep, irritability and resentment.

Getting enough sleep is essential for our physical and mental well-being. It helps us consolidate our memories and aids physical recovery. Not getting enough has been associated with an increased risk of heart disease, obesity, neurodegenerative disorders and depression.

"We know that getting a good night's sleep is important for both health and happiness," Khosla said. "So, if you're continually sacrificing sleep quality and quantity—due to your partner's persistent snoring, for example—then it may be time to discuss your sleeping arrangements."

Numerous studies have shown that sleep deprivation takes a toll on our ability to control our emotions, attention spans and judgment, which could potentially impact your relationship in the long run. Finding a sleep arrangement that works for both parties may actually help reduce conflict and resentment and improve the relationship in the long run.

However, if you do still prefer to share a bed with your partner, Michael Breus, founder of the Sleep Doctor website, has some simple advice if your quality of sleep is being affected:

• Get a bigger mattress.
• Solve snoring issues.
• Try different sleep positions.
• Communicate with your partner.
• Kick the kids and pets out.
• Make the room more sleep-friendly.
• If necessary, talk to a sleep specialist.

Is there a health issue that's worrying you? Do you have a question about sleep? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Update 07/17/2024 06:44 a.m. EST: This article was updated to include additional details about the AASM's Sleep Prioritization Survey.