Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up Quotes

“There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. "Hey, YOU!" are the sea's exact words.
If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up

“You know how sometimes you’re driving on I-95 in heavy traffic, and some substance abuser driving a car whose windows are tinted with what appears to be roofing tar weaves past you at 127 miles per hour, using all available lanes plus the median strip, and you say to yourself: “Why don’t they get that lunatic OFF THE ROAD??” Well, trust me, on Sunday afternoon he is off the road. He and all his friends from the South Florida Maniac Drivers Club are all out on Biscayne Bay, roaring around in severely overpowered boats, looking for manatees to turn into Meatloaf of the Sea.”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up