Lol Quotes

“Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.
Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.
Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.
"You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"
Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit.
His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings."
"Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!"
"Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly.
Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it."
...
"I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."
Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."
Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?"
"Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"
...Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."
"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked.”
― James Patterson

“I guess I make things that need energy stronger. I'm like a walking battery."
"You're the table everyone wants at Starbucks," Gansey mused as he began to walk again.
Blue blinked. "What?"
Over his shoulder, Gansey said, "Next to the wall plug.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“How do you feel about helicopters?"
There was a long pause. "How do you mean? Ethically?"
"As a mode of transportation."
"Faster than camels, but less sustainable.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“He strode over to the ruined church. This, Blue had discovered, was how Gansey got places - striding. Walking was for ordinary people.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“Everyone thinks you've been kidnapped," he said. "We've been scouring the ship. When Coach Hedge finds out- oh, gods, you've been here all night?"
"Frank!" Annabeth's ears were as red as strawberries. "We just came down here to talk. We fell asleep. Accidentally. That's it."
"Kissed a couple of times," Percy said.
Annabeth glared at him. "Not helping!”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

“Are you really going to work in that?" Maura asked.

Blue looked at her clothing. It involved a few thin layering shirts, including one she had altered using a method called shredding. "What's wrong with it?"
Maura shrugged. "Nothing. I always wanted an eccentric daughter. I just never realised how well my evil plans were working.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“Interviewer: So. Tell me about your mother.
Ezra: You're taping this, right?
Interviewer: Audio only. Camera is faulty.
Ezra: Okay, well for the benefit of the sight-impaired, I am now raising my… oh, dear… yes, it's my MIDDLE finger at Mr. Postgrad here.
Interviewer: Mr. Mason...
Ezra: Now I'm wiggling it.
Interviewer: Terminating interview at 13:58 on 03/19/75.
Ezra: Look at it wiggl-
-audio ends-”
― Amie Kaufman, Illuminae

“You know, you're kind of squeamish for such a lethal person”
― Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

“Jen said some guy asked you but you didn't want to go. Why not?"
I shrug. "I have this character flaw? Called dignity?”
― A.G. Howard, Splintered

“Remember our friend Mark?” Wylan winced. “Let’s say the mark is a tourist walking through the Barrel. He’s heard it’s a good place to get rolled, so he keeps patting his wallet, making sure it’s there, congratulating himself on just how alert and cautious he’s being. No fool he. Of course every time he pats his back pocket or the front of his coat, what is he doing? He’s telling every thief on the Stave exactly where he keeps his scrub.”

“Saints,” grumbled Nina. “I’ve probably done that.”

“Everyone does,” said Inej.

Jesper lifted a brow. “Not everyone.”

“That’s only because you never have anything in your wallet,” Nina shot back.

“Mean.”

“Factual.”

“Facts are for the unimaginative,” Jesper said with a dismissive wave.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—”
“Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?”
“No!”
“Me neither,” Leo admitted.”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“Wylan looked as if he was ready to wet himself. Helvar appeared grim as always. Jesper just grinned and whispered, "Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.”
― Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows

“(Jace) "Is there anything special you want to see? Paris? Budapest? The Leaning Tower of Pisa?"
Only if it falls on Sebastian's head, she thought.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls

“Saw him where?"
"While I was sitting outside with one of my half aunts."
This seemed to satisfy Ronan was well, because he asked, "What's the other half of her?"
"God, Ronan," Adam said. "Enough.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“Archer! Let us fetch a spot of tea, old boy!”
― Rachel Hawkins, Hex Hall

“He's a pit bull," Adam said.
"I know some really nice pit bulls."
"He's the kind of pit that makes the evening news. Gansey's trying to restrain him."
"How noble.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“See, there you go. You're always looking at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Like I burn down animal shelters for fun and light my cigarettes with orphans.”
― Cassandra Clare

“I would love to slap you right now, but I’m currently wielding a nine pound ball and I’m afraid that would be called murder.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“Are you two you know?" Jacob pointed at us. " Together? Together? "
I didn't get a chance to answer. Cam spun me around and kissed me, right there between the two buildings. It was no friendly peck on the lips. When our tongues touched, my bag slipped off my arm and hit the frosted ground.
"Holy crap," Jacob muttered. "I think they're going to make babies.”
― Jennifer L. Armentrout, Wait for You

“How did you find me? If you hacked into the Club’s computer to look up my appointments - "
“Whoa, I think you overestimate me, shitlord. Last time I checked all I did was be in the wrong place at the right time. I saw you and had to - ”
“Stalk me.”
“ - delicately approach you. In a sideways manner. From behind. Without being seen at all. For ten minutes.”
― Sara Wolf, Lovely Vicious

“It's like scrying into that weird space. There's so much coming out of him, it shouldn't be possible. Do you remember that woman who came in who was pregnant with quadruplets? It was like that, but worse."
"He's pregnant?" Blue asked.”
― Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys

“Drugs?"
"Rituals. Are you messing around with drugs?"
"No. But maybe rituals."
"Drugs might be better.”
― Maggie Stiefvater

“When I was alive, I mean the first time, Mussolini was in charge. We were at war.”
“Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?”
― Rick Riordan, The Mark of Athena

“The king picked up his goblet, swirling the wine inside. 'I didn't receive word that your legion was here.'

"They're not."

Chaol braced for the execution order, praying he wouldn't be the one to do it. The king said, "I told you to bring them, General."

"Here, I was thinking you wanted the plesure of my company.”
― Sarah J. Maas, Heir of Fire

“You gave me a dead frog for my birthday!
To remind you we all die and end up rotting underground eaten by maggots so we should enjoy our birthdays while we have them. I found it thoughtful.”
― Soman Chainani, The School for Good and Evil

“Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct."
"Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages."
"I doubt it."
"Human interaction is not my strong point," I told him.
"Not seriously."
"Seriously," I said. Thinking: There is so much about me he doesn't know.
Gideon put his hand on my leg. "What's your strong point, then?"
"Goats," I told him. "I am excellent with goats.”
― E. Lockhart, Real Live Boyfriends: Yes. Boyfriends, Plural. If My Life Weren't Complicated, I Wouldn't Be Ruby Oliver

“I don’t think I have the right parts to appreciate '50 Shades of Grey'.”
― Chris Colfer

“Claire found herself staring at his feet, which were in bunny slippers.
Myrnin looked down. "What?" he asked. "They're quite comfortable." He lifted on to look at it, and the ears wobbled in the air.
"Of course they are," she said. Just when she thought Myrnin was getting his mental act together, he'd do something like that. Or maybe he was just messing with her. He liked to do that, and his dark eyes were fixed on her now, assessing just how weirded-out she was.
Which, on the grade scale of zero to Myrnin, wasn't much.”
― Rachel Caine, Fade Out

“I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.”
― Anonymous