"Ultimate Dick Kicking" Is The World's Next Great Combat Sport
Admittedly I'm not the biggest UFC guy on the planet. Not because I don't love watching the fights or anything. It's just that all the best fights don't even start until like 11:30 at night. I'm old and washed up these days. I sure as heck ain't staying up to watch some dude from Uzbekistan roll around on the mat for 15 minutes at midnight. I just don't have the appreciation for anything other than the brutally vicious knockouts. I'm the guy who watches NASCAR for the crashes, not to see how strategically dialed the racers are.
Which is why Ultimate Dick Kicking is right up my alley. There's no strategy involved here. No real artistry involved. It's just two dudes standing in the pocket and booting each other in the cock and balls. Pure testicular fortitude. It's not about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. It's the ultimate competition to see who truly wants it more. And that's really what sports are all about at the end of the day.
So here's to hoping Dana White buys the rights to the Ultimate Dick Kicking Championship, and maybe we can get those fights going as the prelims for UFC. That way we can have everything wrapped up by 9pm so ol' Jordie over here can hit the hay.
Sidenote: Lia Thomas be the GSP of UDKC.