Love triangle

Last updated
Gianciotto Discovers Paolo and Francesca by Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres Gianciotto Discovers Paolo and Francesca Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres.jpg
Gianciotto Discovers Paolo and Francesca by Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres

A love triangle [1] is a scenario or circumstance, usually depicted as a rivalry, in which two people are pursuing or involved in a romantic relationship with one person, [2] [3] [4] or in which one person in a romantic relationship with someone is simultaneously pursuing or involved in a romantic relationship with someone else. [5] [6] [7] [8] A love triangle typically is not conceived of as a situation in which one person loves a second person, who loves a third person, who loves the first person, or variations thereof. [9]

Contents

Love triangles are a common narrative device in theater, literature, and film. Statistics suggest that, in Western society, "Willingly or not, most adults have been involved in a love triangle." [10]

The 1994 book Beliefs, Reasoning, and Decision Making states, "Although the romantic love triangle is formally identical to the friendship triad, as many have noted their actual implications are quite different ... Romantic love is typically viewed as an exclusive relationship, whereas friendship is not." [11]

History and definition

The term "love triangle" generally connotes an arrangement unsuitable to one or more of the people involved. One person typically ends up feeling betrayed at some point (e.g., "Person A is jealous of Person C who is having a relationship with Person B who, in Person A's eyes, is "their person."). [12] A similar arrangement that is agreed upon by all parties is sometimes called a triad, which is a type of polyamory even though polyamory usually implies sexual relations. Within the context of monogamy, love triangles are inherently unstable, with unrequited love and jealousy as common themes. In most cases, the jealous or rejected first party ends a friendship – and sometimes even starts a fight with – the second party over the third-party love interest. Though rare, love triangles have been known to lead to murder or suicide committed by the actual or perceived rejected lover.

Psychoanalysis has explored "the theme of erotic love triangles and their roots in the Oedipal triangle". [13] Experience suggests that "a repeated pattern of forming or being caught in love triangle can be much dissolved by beginning to analyse the patterns of the childhood relationship to each parent in turn and to both parents as a couple". [13] In such instances, "you find men who are attracted only by a married woman but who can't sustain the relationship if it threatens to become more than an affair. They need the husband to protect them from a full relationship...as women who repeatedly get involved with married men need the wives". [14]

Common themes

Eternal triangle

"In geometric terms, the eternal triangle can be represented as comprising three points – a jealous mate (A) in a relationship with an unfaithful partner (B) who has a lover (C) ... A feels abandoned, B is between two mates, and C is a catalyst for crisis in the union A-B". [15]

It has been suggested that "a collusive network is always needed to keep the triangle eternal". [16] This may take a tragic form – "I saw no prospect of its ending except with death – the death of one of three people" [17] – or alternately a comic one: "A man at the funeral of a friend's wife, with whom he has been carrying on an affair, breaks into tears and finally becomes hysterical, while the husband remains impassive. 'Calm yourself,' says the husband, 'I'll be marrying again'." [18]

Homosociality

It has been suggested that if men "share a sense of brotherhood and they allow a woman into their relationship, an isosceles triangle is created" automatically, as "in Truffaut's film Jules et Jim ". [19] René Girard has explored the role of envy and mimetic desire in such relationships, arguing that often the situation "subordinates a desired something to the someone who enjoys a privileged relationship with it". [20] In such cases, 'it cannot be fair to blame the quarrel of the mimetic twins on a woman. ... She is their common scapegoat'. [21]

Marital breakup

When a love triangle results in the breakup of a marriage, it may often be followed by what has been called "the imposition of a 'defilement taboo'...the emotional demand imposed by a jealous ex-mate...to eschew any friendly or supportive contact with the rival in the triangle". [22] The result is often to leave children gripped by "shadows from the past...they often take sides. Their loyalties are torn", and – except in the best of cases – "the one left 'injured' can easily sway the feelings of the children against acknowledging this new relationship". [23]

As to gender responsibility, evidence would seem to indicate that in late modernity both sexes may equally well play the part of the "Other Person" – that "men and women love with equivalent passion as well as folly" [16] and that certainly there is nothing to "suggest that a man is better able to control himself in a love triangle than a woman". [24] Stereotypically, the person at the center of a rivalrous love triangle is a woman, whereas for a split-object love triangle it is a man, due to the same reasons that polygyny is far more common than polyandry.

Those who find themselves tempted to become the Other Man may, however, still find a cynic's advice from the 1930s pertinent on "the emotional position of the adulterer, and why to avoid it... Did I know what a mug's game was? – No. – 'A mug's game,' he told me, 'is breaking your back at midnight, trying to make another man's wife come". [25]

Distinction

A love triangle should not be confused with a ménage à trois, a three-way relationship in which either all members are romantically involved with each other, or one member has relations with two others who are reconciled to the situation instead of being in conflict. Ménage à trois is French and directly translates to "household for three" meaning it is usually composed of a "married couple and a lover ... who live together while sharing sexual relations". This differs from a love triangle because each participant is equally motivated purely by sexual desires.[ citation needed ] The ménage à trois may be considered a subset of "The Sandwich ... a straight three-handed operation ... which may be operated with any assortment of sexes: three men, three women, two men and a woman ('Ménage à trois'), or two women and a man ('The Tourist Sandwich')". [26]

In entertainment

Directed by Bengali language film director Pramathesh Barua, Devdas (1935) pivots a tragic love triangle between Devdas, Paro, and Chandramukhi. P.C. Barua and Jamuna - Bengali version of Devdas (1935).jpg
Directed by Bengali language film director Pramathesh Barua, Devdas (1935) pivots a tragic love triangle between Devdas, Paro, and Chandramukhi.

Love triangles are a popular theme in entertainment, especially romantic fiction, including opera, romance novels, soap operas, romantic comedies, manga, tabloid talk shows, and popular music. They are a major aspect of Indian television shows.

Three of the highest grossing movies of all time adjusted for inflation ( Gone with the Wind , Titanic and Doctor Zhivago ) are romantic epics that feature a love triangle at its core. Young adult literature has seen a rise in the popularity of the love triangle story structure (such as Twilight or The Selection ). But the love triangle story structure has been around since before early classic writers like William Shakespeare and Alexandre Dumas. Shakespeare's famous play Romeo and Juliet featured a love triangle between Juliet, Romeo, and Paris. Although more subtle, Dumas's classics The Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers also feature love triangles strong enough to seek revenge and start a war.

Bengali writer Bankim Chandra Chattopadhyay's 1865 novel Durgeshnandini also follows a love triangle between Jagat Singh (a Mughal General), Tilottama (the daughter of a Bengali feudal lord), and Ayesha (the daughter of a rebel Pathan leader against whom Jagat Singh was fighting).

In early 20th-century Bengali literature, the love triangle again emerged as a prominent theme, resonating through numerous novels penned by Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay and Rabindranath Tagore. For instance, Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay's famous novel Griho Daho featured a love triangle between Achola, Mahim, and Suresh.

In television shows, a love triangle is often prolonged, delaying final declarations of love between the pursued character and suitors that may prematurely end this dynamic or displease fans. Love triangles also featured prominently on soap operas, and can span more than a decade, as shown by Taylor Hamilton, Ridge Forrester and Brooke Logan on The Bold and the Beautiful , or between Luke Spencer, Laura Spencer, and Scotty Baldwin on General Hospital .

The love triangle has been a recurring subject in many popular songs throughout the years.

Warned of a love triangle by one of his prospective partners, Albert Einstein conceded to her that "You have more respect for the difficulties of triangular geometry than I, old mathematicus, have." [27]

Love triangles continue to be a popular trope in the 21st century, most recently seen in the movie Challengers, which focuses on the relationship between three tennis players.

See also

Related Research Articles

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Deanna Troi</span> Fictional character from Star Trek

Deanna Troi is a main character in the science-fiction television series Star Trek: The Next Generation and related TV series and films, portrayed by English actress Marina Sirtis. Troi is half-human, half-Betazoid, and has the psionic ability to sense emotions. She serves as the ship's counsellor on USS Enterprise-D. Throughout most of the series, she holds the rank of lieutenant commander. In the seventh season, Troi takes the bridge officer's examination and is promoted to the rank of commander, but continues as counsellor.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Jealousy</span> Emotion

Jealousy generally refers to the thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety.

<i>Ménage à trois</i> Romantic relationship with three partners

A ménage à trois is a domestic arrangement or committed relationship consisting of three people in polyamorous romantic or sexual relations with each other, and often dwelling together. The phrase is a loan from French meaning "household of three". Contemporary arrangements are sometimes identified as a throuple, thruple, or triad.

A love–hate relationship is an interpersonal relationship involving simultaneous or alternating emotions of love and hate—something particularly common when emotions are intense. The term is used frequently in psychology, popular writing and journalism. It can be applied to relationships with inanimate objects, or even concepts, as well as those of a romantic nature or between siblings and parents/children.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Friend zone</span> Inability to move from a platonic relationship into a romantic one

In popular culture, the friend zone is a relational concept, describing a situation in which one person in a mutual friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship with the other person, while the other does not. The person whose romantic advances were rejected is then said to have "entered" the friend zone, with the sense that they are stuck there. The friendzone has a strong presence on the Internet; for example, on Facebook, dating sites, and other social media platforms. However, over time the term has expanded into middle schools, high schools, and colleges where young people are discovering their identities when it comes to dating and romance.

The triangular theory of love is a theory of love developed by Robert Sternberg. In the context of interpersonal relationships, "the three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are an intimacy component, a passion component, and a commitment component."

<i>Politics</i> (novel) 2003 book by Adam Thirlwell

Politics is a 2003 novel by Adam Thirlwell about a father-daughter relationship and about a ménage à trois which includes said daughter and two of her friends. We are informed by the narrator that the novel is about "goodness".

Beard is a slang term, American in origin, describing a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner, or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one's sexual orientation. The term also refers, in some areas, to anyone who acted on behalf of another, in any transaction, to conceal a person's true identity. The term can be used in heterosexual and non-heterosexual contexts but is especially used within LGBTQ+ culture. References to beards are seen in mainstream television and films, and other entertainment.

Bisexual chic is a phrase used to describe the public acknowledgment of bisexuality or increased public interest or acceptance of bisexuality. Another usage describes a faddish attention towards bisexuality. Bisexual chic is often accompanied by celebrities publicly revealing their bisexuality.

"Ménage à Troi" is the 24th episode of the third season of the American science fiction television series Star Trek: The Next Generation, and the 72nd episode of the series overall.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Mistress (lover)</span> Female who is in an extra-marital sexual relationship

A mistress or kept woman is a woman who is in a relatively long-term sexual and romantic relationship with someone who is married to a different person.

<i>Laughable Loves</i>

Laughable Loves is a collection of seven short stories by Milan Kundera which mix the extremes of tragedy with comic situations in relationships.

Terminology within polyamory looks at the evolution and meaning of the word "polyamory" itself, as well as alternative definitions and concepts which closely relate to it.

A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other behavior. Forms of committed relationships include close friendship, long-term relationships, engagement, marriage, and civil unions.

<i>Entertaining Mr Sloane</i> (film) 1970 British film

Entertaining Mr Sloane is a 1970 British black comedy film directed by Douglas Hickox. The screenplay by Clive Exton is based on the 1964 play of the same title by Joe Orton. This was the second adaptation of the play, the first having been developed for British television and broadcast by ITV on 15 July 1968.

<i>The Berlin Affair</i> 1985 film by Liliana Cavani

The Berlin Affair is a 1985 Italo-German film, directed by Liliana Cavani and starring Gudrun Landgrebe, Kevin McNally and Mio Takaki. Set in Berlin, 1938, it sees the wife of a rising Nazi diplomat fall in love with Mitsuko Matsugae, the daughter of the Japanese ambassador and an artist. Her husband finds out, and moves to break up the affair. However he soon falls in love with Mitsuko himself, leading to the intervention of officials higher in the system. The film is based upon the novel Quicksand by Jun'ichirō Tanizaki.

A girlfriend is a woman who is a friend, acquaintance or partner to the speaker, usually a female companion with whom one is platonically, romantically, or sexually involved. In a romantic context, this normally signifies a committed relationship where the individuals are not married. Other titles, for example "wife" or "partner", usually signify that the individuals are legally married.

Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep affection, or may consciously reject it knowing that the admirer admires them. Merriam-Webster defines unrequited as "not reciprocated or returned in kind".

<i>Design for Living</i> (film) 1933 American film

Design for Living is a 1933 American pre-Code romantic comedy film directed by Ernst Lubitsch from a screenplay by Ben Hecht, based on the 1932 play of the same name by Noël Coward. Starring Fredric March, Gary Cooper, and Miriam Hopkins, the film is about a woman who cannot decide between two men who love her, and the trio agree to try living together in a platonic friendly relationship.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Colour wheel theory of love</span> The six love styles created by John Alan Lee

The colour wheel theory of love is an idea created by the Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee that describes six love styles, using several Latin and Greek words for love. First introduced in his book Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving (1973), Lee defines three primary, three secondary, and nine tertiary love styles, describing them in the traditional colour wheel. The three primary types are called Eros, Ludus, and Storge, and the three secondary types are called Mania, Pragma, and Agape.

References

  1. ↑ Also called a romantic love triangle or a romance triangle.
  2. ↑ "love triangle". Cambridge Dictionary. Cambridge University Press. 2022. A situation in which two people both love a third person:
  3. ↑ Matyushenkov, V. S. (2010). "eternal triangle". Dictionary of Americanisms, Briticisms, Canadianisms and Australianisms. Xlibris Corporation. ISBN   9781450032469. A situation when two persons both love a third person, usu. of opposite sex.
  4. ↑ "love triangle". Oxford Dictionaries. Archived from the original on July 5, 2022. A state of affairs in which one person is romantically or sexually involved with two others (one or both of whom may not be aware of or complicit in the situation).
  5. ↑ "love triangle". Macmillan Dictionary. Macmillan Education Limited. 2009–2022. A situation in which one of the partners in a romantic or sexual relationship also loves someone else.
  6. ↑ Pavis, Patrice (1998). "Boulevard Theatre". Dictionary of the Theatre: Terms, Concepts, and Analysis. University of Toronto Press. ISBN   9780802081636. For the pleasure of the entire family, this domestic tragedy/comedy revolves around the eternal triangle: Madame, Monsieur and the lover (or mistress). One topographical peculiarity is the all too frequent discovery of Monsieur (or Madame's lover) in shorts in the depths of a closet. The triangle is often adapted to the tastes of the day (introducing elements such as homosexuality, the timid appearance of infantile or mentally deficient characters, the eternal generation gap between the affluent character and the hippie).
  7. ↑ "eternal triangle". Lexico. Oxford University Press. 2022. Archived from the original on April 10, 2021. A relationship between three people, typically a couple and the lover of one of them, involving sexual rivalry.
  8. ↑ "love triangle". Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English. A situation in which someone is having a sexual relationship with the partner of a close friend.
  9. ↑ O'Conner, Patricia T.; Kellerman, Stewart (October 22, 2012). "Triangulating love". Grammarphobia.
  10. ↑ A. Pam/J. Pearson, Splitting Up (1998), p. 149.
  11. ↑ R. P. Abelson/R. C. Schank, Beliefs, Reasoning, and Decision-Making (1994), p. 223.
  12. ↑ David Cooper, The Death of the Family (Penguin 1974) p. 49
  13. 1 2 Johnson, p. 6
  14. ↑ Robin Skynner/John Cleese, Families and How to Survive Them (1994) pp. 268–269
  15. ↑ Pam/Pearson, p. 148
  16. 1 2 Pam/Pearson, p. 166
  17. ↑ Rose Macaulay, The Towers of Trebizond (1990) p. 66
  18. ↑ G. Legman, Rationale of the Dirty Joke, Vol, II (1973), p. 400.
  19. ↑ Rebecca L. Copeland ed., Woman Critiqued (2006) p. 228
  20. ↑ René Girard, A Theatre of Envy, (Oxford 1991) p. 4.
  21. ↑ Girard, p. 323-4
  22. ↑ Pam/Pearson, p. 168
  23. ↑ Virginia Satir, Peoplemaking (1983), pp. 181–184.
  24. ↑ Copeland, p. 47
  25. ↑ Legman, pp. 432–433.
  26. ↑ Eric Berne, Sex in Human Loving (1970) p. 173
  27. ↑ Quoted in W. Isaacson, Einstein (2007) p. 361
This page is based on this Wikipedia article
Text is available under the CC BY-SA 4.0 license; additional terms may apply.
Images, videos and audio are available under their respective licenses.