User talk:MaryamAl-Suwaidi/sandbox
Tony's Peer Review
[edit]Arab Cinema Overview
Lead:
Looking at the lead by itself, do I feel satisfied that I know the importance of the topic?
Yes, the lead highlights the base knowledge that the reader needs to know before progressing with the article. Especially when it mentions the key countries that played a role in Arab film history.
Looking at the lead again after reading the rest of the article, does the lead reflect the most important information?
Yes, the it did foreshadow many of the parts included in the rest of the article, however, I think it should introduce the subtopics: Movie Theaters, Current State & Role of Women in Arab Cinema. After reading the lead on its own, I did not get the sense that the article would include these subtopics.
Does the lead give more weight to certain parts of the article over others? Is anything missing? Is anything redundant?
Yes, it shows that the article will be highlighting more in history, which is reflected throughout the article. The only thing that is missing is an introduction of the subtopics from earlier on in the article.
Thank you Tony for your great feedback! However, we did not include all the article's subtopics because we did not want to give away all the information and we wanted the reader to be interested in our topic. However, we will consider adding the subtopics.MaryamAl-Suwaidi (talk) 09:35, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
Thank you for Tony for your useful feedback, and we will consider adding subtopics that can lead the readers into the rest of the article. Nooraalkhalifa (talk) 10:48, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
Structure:
Are the sections organized well, in a sensible order? Would they make more sense presented some other way (chronologically, for example)?
I suggest reordering it more chronologically so that someone seeking a specific time period does not miss out on other events in the same period. Suggested Order: History of Arab Cinema & Full-length Arab Films & Movie Theatres in Arab World (I suggest combining the three into one section) Role of Women in Arab Cinema Current State of the Arab Cinema
I really appreciate your feedback Tony! Also your suggestion in this part and our article is already chronologically ordered but you might see some earlier dates coming after the later ones because we are having sections that talks about specific event and we cannot push the sequences of these events just to order it based on the timeline of the events. Otherwise, it will look unorganised or make no sense. Nour AlMannaei (talk) 10:15, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
Balancing Act:
Is each section's length equal to its importance to the article's subject? Are there sections in the article that seem unnecessary? Is anything off-topic?
Everything is related to the topic, however, the two sections that I think need more development are the Full-length Arab Films & the Role of Women in Arab Cinema. They have so much more content and information that can be included to enrich and balance the article.
Yes, it felt like there were a variety of viewpoints from different countries, and genders which really help make the article strong and effective.
Does the article draw conclusions or try to convince the reader to accept one particular point of view?
No, it feels very objective.
Thank you Tony and We understand your point, however we didn't want to focus of these topics as they were not our main focus as our focus was on the Arab cinema more than it was on the role of Woman of the Arab cinema and so we did not want to confuse the reader. Once again thank you for your great feedback!
Does the article reflect all the perspectives represented in the published literature? Are any significant viewpoints left out or missing?
Objectivity:
Do you think you could guess the perspective of the author by reading the article?
As far as history is concerned, no. It seems very backed up and factual which doesn’t distract me into thinking of which side the writer is on.
Are there any words or phrases that don't feel neutral? For example, "the best idea," "most people," or negative associations, such as "While it's obvious that x, some insist that y."
No
Does the article make claims on behalf of unnamed groups or people? For example, "some people say..."
No
Does the article focus too much on negative or positive information? Remember, neutral doesn't mean "the best positive light" or "the worst, most critical light." It means a clear reflection of various aspects of a topic.
No
Sources: Are most statements in the article connected to a reliable source, such as textbooks and journal articles? Or do they rely on blogs or self-published authors?
Yes, all of them are either books or journal articles.
Are there a lot of statements attributed to one or two sources? If so, it may lead to an unbalanced article or one that leans too heavily into a single point of view.
Yes, the entire article is expressed using 5 sources, which is not the most ideal, especially with the length of the article. For example, the entire section of Movie Theatres in Arab World is written using one source. Furthermore, the History of Arab Cinema section only used two sources.
Thank you. We have taken your feedback about the sources into consideration and we will add sources to balance the article. Nour AlMannaei (talk) 10:27, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
Thank you Tony. We will consider adding more sources for the sections that you specified. Nooraalkhalifa (talk) 10:48, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
Are there any unsourced statements in the article, or statements that you can't find stated in the references? Just because there is a source listed, doesn't mean it's presented accurately!
The statement “The Arab cinema did not flourish before the national independence of each of them, and even after, the films production of the Arab cinema was restricted to short-length films.” Seems slightly problematic since it cannot be proven for sure, we don’t have records of all the films made at the time.
Yes, and that is why we included the numbers of films produced in each Arab country so we can give an overview of how they expanded after the national independence. Nour AlMannaei (talk) 10:27, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
Overall:
First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?
They did not get lost in the details since most of what was written did not feel out of place or irrelevant. With the detail of the sources, I feel this must’ve used a lot of elimination to strip down the topic to its core.
What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?
Use more sources. Cite using the Wikipedia method not APA. (Most important) Expand the sections: Full-length Arab Films & the Role of Women in Arab Cinema
Thank you Tony for your evaluation, however we were aware that we were using the regular APA citation and not the WikiPedia and so will for sure change this and use the WikiPedia citation and we will also add references to the popular names so that they could lead to the other wikipedia pages.
Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!
I liked that you talked about the Role of Women in Arab Cinema, it is something we touched on, but now I feel like we could talk more about especially since there are quite a few sources on this.
TonyElGhazal (talk) 15:30, 19 March 2019 (UTC)
Sarah AlMarri peer review
[edit]Lead Section: The lead is well structured and balanced it highlights what the reader should acknowledge and will throughout the article.
Structure: It is well structured with headlines of what to expect in each section. I would recommend to add sub-headlines in the sections for more clarity.
Thank you Sara for your feedback, we have taken your recommendation into consideration and we added a subheading underneath each of the heading to make the article more organized MaryamAl-Suwaidi (talk) 10:12, 25 March 2019 (UTC).
Coverage: The coverage was balanced as they focused on headlines that happened and has a relation to Arab Cinema.
Content: The content is neutral it is supported and backed by sources which adds understanding to the readers.
Sources: There aren’t much sources to support the whole article, there are only 5 which is I don’t believe it is ideal for a whole article. I would recommended you to add more sources for more so=support and credibility. — Preceding unsigned comment added by SarahAlMarri (talk • contribs) 07:00, 25 March 2019 (UTC)
Prof. PK's Comments
[edit]These will make some strong additions to the existing Arab Cinema page, but you need more sources and citations! Some paragraphs have no citations at all, but you should be citing once every sentence or two--even in the lead!
Here's a great example of why you need to more thoroughly source your information: what you say about Saudi Arabia is wrong! I remember reading in the news that a cinema opened there in April, a fact which is confirmed on the Cinema of Saudi Arabia page, with sources.
I'd like you to consider changing some of your subsection titles. The "History of Arab Cinema" section in particular needs to be reorganized. Think about the information a reader would be seeking in a history section: perhaps "Origins," "Mid-20th Century Conflicts," etc.
I also get the sense that this should be a gateway page for the specific cinemas of Arab countries. Perhaps you should add a "See also" section? Take a look at the Latin American cinema page for an example.