Talk:João Sousa/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 10:28, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you Royroydeb for taking the time to evaluate this GA nomination. Even though I am not as active as earlier this year, I look forward to working with you here. SOAD KoRn (talk) 12:14, 31 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The birth date needs citation
- Done
He is often nicknamed Conquistador - he is nicknamed/he is often called sounds better
- Done
with the country's first king - make it "Afonso I, Portugal's first king"
- Done
at age fifteen - at the age of fifteen
- Done
to invest in his career - what does "invest" in career mean?
- See Notes
becoming the first player - becoming the first Portuguese player
- Done
He is also the Portuguese player with the largest - this sentence needs to be reworded.
- See Notes.
Is his father still a judge or a former judge?
- See Notes.
Even though the source says that of he being a judge, you should find out where he is judge. I mean judge at a civil court or what?
- See Notes.
Portugal Under-14, Portugal Under-12 -why does under starts with a capital letter?
- Done
Sousa also played football at local clubs Vitória de Guimarães - at local clubs such as
- Done
"goal of studying medicine to pursue a professional tennis career" - one studies medicine to pursue a career in tennis?
- See Notes.
What is the National Training center?
- See Notes.
I still cannot understand why Sousa went to Spain, I mean were training facilities not enough in Portugal?
- See Notes.
one of his biggest mentors - remove biggest
- Done

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 05:42, 2 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. I will address these issues later today. SOAD KoRn (talk) 13:51, 2 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I apologize for any inconvenience caused by my delay. Real life matters have caught up with me lately. I intend to address your work this weekend. SOAD KoRn (talk) 15:06, 6 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

In 2008, Sousa began the season - "season, you mean year? Is that how you speak in tennis?
Actually yes, it's called season. In fact in the recent past the season began in the last weeks of December. Fyunck(click) (talk) 09:10, 10 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The second sentence of the paragraph is unclear, needs to be reworded
- I disagree. See comments on grammar below.
The biggest surprise - "surprise" ?? Rewording is necessary
- Done
"He reached two more doubles finals that year, winning a second title in August in Bakio." - This sentence needs to be reworded
- I disagree. See comments on grammar below.
Besides winning two more Futures doubles titles in three finals in Irun and Espinho - what does it mean?
- See notes (part 2)
"reached his first four singles finals" - what his four singles? A format of tennis? It needs to be linked then
- See notes (part 2)
"doubles titles in Lanzarote, Córdoba and two in Tenerife" - the partner's name needs to be mentioned
- See notes (part 2)
Sousa reached several milestones in 2011 - This sentence is unecessary
- See notes (part 2)
wildcard at the singles and doubles- make it "wildcard in both the singles and doubles"
- Done
falling in the qualifying rounds at the Australian Open, Wimbledon and the US Open - it should be "but failed in the qualifying rounds of the Australian, US Open and the Wimbledon.
- Done, with minor modification
In October, Sousa's participation at the Sabadell....-this sentence is unclear
- See notes (part 2)
losing to Albert Ramos - it should be "but lost to"
- I disagree. See comments on grammar below.
Ref 40 nowhere mentions that Sousa reached the quarter finals of an ATP tournament for the first time.
- Done thank you, I completely missed that one.
to 20th seed - 20th seeded if I am not wrong
- See notes (part 2)
dead rubber—his last to date - "last to date" ?
- See notes (part 2)
In this same month, Sousa... - this sentence needs reqording
- I disagree. See comments on grammar below.
His role at the 2012 Davis Cup rose in importance - this is uncited.
- Done, see notes (part 2)

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 09:45, 7 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

After going through the rest of the article, I am sorry that this article doesnot deserve a full review. I suggest you to do a peer review. RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 16:03, 13 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I respect your opinion, but after waiting months for a GA review I would like you to expand on why this article does not deserve a full review. As I said before, I have been busy in my daily life lately and that has kept me from working on the article. I expect to start it today.

However, I see that many of your comments are on grammar. As you may see on the talk page, this article has already been copy-edited by the WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors. If that is the reason why you are saying it does not deserve a full review, I regret to tell that you but I will have to report your decision.

I will not put months of work and wait in jeopardy simply because of that. I'm sorry, but I believe you understand. SOAD KoRn (talk) 17:12, 13 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I have to second SOAD KoRn here that this article shouldn't be quick failed. I have been monitoring the progress for a while and this article failed the first time for grammar issues because SK is not native in English (although very talented nonetheless). After the involvement of the Guild I don't think there are major options left in that regard. I would jump in myself but a) I have made occasional edits so I don't know if I'm allowed and b) I doubt my capacity to stick around on such a long article. '''tAD''' (talk) 22:37, 13 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your kind words, The Almightey Drill. I indeed feel that I am needing feedback on other aspects rather than grammar this time around. I was very pleased with the Guild's work here and I believe that the grammar concerns raised by Royroydeb are not significant enough to quick fail this. I would like to hear from him soon, but I am afraid that his prolonged absence might mean that he has given up reviewing the article? SOAD KoRn (talk) 17:02, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Notes

"to invest in his career"
- "to invest" here has the meaning of "to develop, to put an effort in"
"He is also the Portuguese player with the largest"
- I don't see any way of better phrasing here. Could you give me an idea?
"goal of studying medicine to pursue a professional tennis career"
- If you read the entire phrase, what it states is that he forego football activity and the goal of studying medicine to play tennis. Still, I rephrased it so that it is clearer now.
"What is the National Training center?"
- It's the former National Tennis Training center in Portugal. Added Tennis to the name to make it clearer.
"I still cannot understand why Sousa went to Spain, I mean were training facilities not enough in Portugal?"
- The phrase preceding it answers your question. The National Tennis Training Center closed and he was forced to move somewhere else. That's why he decided to go to Spain.
"Even though the source says that of he being a judge, you should find out where he is judge. I mean judge at a civil court or what?"
- I couldn't find any additional source to that. Regardless, I find it meaningless for the purpose of the article. This is about Joao's life, not his father's.

I will attend to the second part of your comments later today. SOAD KoRn (talk) 17:31, 13 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Notes (Part 2)

"Besides winning two more Futures doubles titles in three finals in Irun and Espinho - what does it mean?"
- He won two doubles finals out of 3 he participated in Irun and Espinho.
""reached his first four singles finals..."
- There is not link for singles in tennis here. However, singles/doubles are very common terms in individual sports. I am quite surprised they are not familiar to you. Still, I linked its first mention in the article for the general definition.
"the partner's name needs to be mentioned"
- I disagree. These titles are from minor leagues in tennis, most players are not notable, per WikiProject Tennis criteria.
"Sousa reached several milestones in 2011 - This sentence is unecessary"
- On the contrary, I believe it is useful so that readers know in advance that Sousa's 2011 season was highlighted with important moments in his career.
"In October, Sousa's participation at the Sabadell....-this sentence is unclear"
- Sousa participated in his last Futures tournament to date.
"to 20th seed - 20th seeded if I am not wrong"
- No, 20th seed is the correct term.
"dead rubber—his last to date - "last to date" ?"
- "last to date" --> most recent
"His role at the 2012 Davis Cup rose in importance - this is uncited."
- I added reference to Sousa's Davis Cup participation history. You can see there that his role changed from playing exclusively dead rubbers to taking part in 2 or 3 matches per round.

I addressed all your comments. SOAD KoRn (talk) 17:02, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]