The Fires.

Harrowing, People.

It has been a stressful, terrible few days. The fires in Los Angeles are ongoing and terrifying. I am lucky as of this writing. I am safe. The animals are safe. Kit is safe. Kit’s animals are safe. Many people have lost everything. It’s incomprehensible but it was always a possibility out here. 

It is devastating. I feel awful for so many people that are dealing with the destruction. Entire communities were decimated. It looks like a nuclear bomb went off in some parts of LA County. It feels like post-9/11 here in terms of the collective trauma that people are moving through. A terrorist attack makes you afraid of more terrorist attacks but you believe, or at least it's possible to think, that terrorists can be stopped. 

You can't stop the wind. 

The reality that every time the wind picks up in Los Angeles there is a possibility that everything will be immolated seems nearly impossible to live with. 

This is what it will be like here all the time now. It used to be that there was a general detachment during fire season. It always seemed that the fires were ‘over there somewhere in the mountains.’ They would get close but not close enough to warrant evacuation. Just a mild to extreme panic. 

We always knew the possibility of this. It was part of the devil’s bargain you exist with to live here. Earthquake, fires. Some part of you was in enough denial or blind faith to just accept it. Hope for the best. Those days are over. 

It seems that if you are a rational person you would move as quickly as possible. I imagine many will. I am making plans. 

To be tethered to the Watch Duty app compulsively updating to see if another fire has broken out somewhere nearby. Will you be woken up in the middle of the night by an alert on your phone to evacuate immediately? Will you need to leave your home? Will your friends need to flee? Is it too late for you or people you know? It’s not a sustainable way to live with any psychological grounding other than terror. 

Look, many people live with this terror in the world for many different reasons. Some man made, other environmental. 

Checking the app for fires every few minutes. 

I realized in the midst of this that the feeling of needing to check to see if you are in the path of destruction over and over will be a lot like checking your news feed after January 20. Where’s the fire? What has he done? Am I safe? Can I live my life freely without overwhelming fear? 

The layers of terror and anxiety that are building upon each other is something akin to a perfect storm, like the perfect storm that created near 100 mile an hour winds that turned the fire into rapid assault from a barrage of embers traveling as projectiles. House to house. Tree to tree. 

I really don’t know how I will manage things in that much fear. Denial and reason can only get you so far. The desire to retreat into self, hide, run, do something drastic will be an edge that many of us will be living on. 

The possibility of paralysis is constant. Creative paralysis, emotional paralysis, political paralysis. The urge to shut down will be there upon waking. 

The act of just living your life day-to-day will be what saves you. Small things. Errands. Reaching out and being there for other people, pets, kids, your job or life pursuit. 

The only way to push back will be to live your life and vigilantly be yourself and do the right thing. Take care of your mind and loved ones.

Try not to be turned out by fear and become a shell. 

There are many ways to help people whose lives have been upended by what’s happening here, or anywhere frankly. Reach out. Help any way you can. It’s the human thing to do. 

Sorry about the weight of this dispatch. 

Today I talk to Richard Gadd about his series Baby Reindeer and all the humanity that entails. Thursday I hope I’ll be talking to comedian Mo Welch. We’ll see. Things are a bit chaotic out here in terms of people being able to do things. The situation is, again, fluid. 

Stay here. 

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Markers and Windows.

Hey, People.

I’m not losing my mind but it seems overloaded and shorting out a bit. I don’t acknowledge burnout is real but maybe it is. I am not sure what to do about it. 

It’s been a rough few days. A director who I talked to on the show and I knew socially a bit has passed away. Jeff Baena died by suicide. He was a real artist and unique director and writer. It’s very sad. Then yesterday I found out that an old friend of mine, comedian Jim Short, passed away. We were estranged for a long time over bullshit but I talked to him a few months ago and we worked through it. He was ill. I was glad we were able to reconnect and let go of the past. 

Life is short and hard. As I get older I realize that I have had many lives. I think everyone loses touch in an immediate way but I have no idea who or how the guy I was made his way through the world and survived. 

When your life is rooted in a creative pursuit that you are chasing wherever it takes you and it is the most important thing in your life, your journey takes you to many different places geographically and mentally. To the point where you actually feel you have had many lives, because you did. 

When people pass away, especially ones who you didn’t stay in touch with or ones who just passed through your life, the moments of grief take you back to who you were during that time. You can kind of get a sense of yourself remembering your experience with them and who they were in your life at that time. The journey you are on resonates in memories of relationships because you don’t really feel your brain changing over time that much. 

When you don’t have a family, your history all lives in time spent with people who come and go. So, it becomes hard to see a throughline to my life. Just people, places, events and things that are markers and windows into my experience. 

I have to get a handle on compartmentalizing all that I do and all that I think. The difference between what I do in the world and what my brain is doing on its own. It’s exhausting. I had a minor wake up call that I have to get my mind together and grounded. 

I hit two parked cars. Parking. What? Yes. 

I insisted, against the reality of the situation, that I could get into a parking space that I couldn’t. Turning into it I hit the parked car on my right on its back bumper. I hit it a bit harder than I thought. I could tell by the awful crunching sound. I backed out and tried to re-angle my car and, as I was easing into the spot looking to my right, my side view mirror dragged along the car on my left. A double-header. I left a note on the car on my right. The person in the car on the left had just parked. So, they got out and took my insurance info. The other car’s owner called me later. My bumper was cracked and needs to be replaced. 

All in, about 3K in damages because I had my head up my ass.

I need to pull it out. 

Today I talk to actor Adrien Brody about his career and his new film The Brutalist. On Thursday I talk to the genius filmmaker Mike Leigh about his life and his films including his new one Hard Truths.

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Needy Animals.

Happy New Year, Folks?

I guess we can dream and wish. Stay in the day. 

It’s the feeling of powerlessness and isolation that is daunting. Even though people who believe in democracy are not really the minority, the cultural force and momentum of what is coming is overwhelming. It almost feels like it’s on purpose. Like that's the plan. Like real authoritarian shit. 

A third of the country is terrified and hopeless. Another third couldn’t be more thrilled about that. And another third doesn’t really give a fuck either way. Those are the ones that scare me the most. It hinges on them. Maybe my math is off but the ratios are tight and it doesn’t bode well for vulnerable people.

I’ll be honest with you. My holidays have been pretty trying. I’m not really a holiday person and I wasn’t really buying into the forced festive nature of the time but last week was marked by panic and minor crises that I guess were educational somehow. I’m not knocking the holidays and I am certainly open to any and almost all distraction on a daily basis with an enthusiasm that can only come from existential terror. 

I was forced into the present a few times last week. 

I went back to New Mexico on Christmas Eve. I went to see my dad to get a feel for where he’s at with his dementia and to spend time with the timeless vibration of the state that defines some part of me and grounds me. 

The night I got in I went to a small family gathering of his wife’s family. Ate some tamales. Split. He seemed a bit more vacant but still present for the most part. The following day I got a call from my cat sitter that Charlie had explosive diarrhea all over the house. Literally all over the house. It’s not a small house. On my bed, in the dining room, in the den, the stairs. Almost like he was making a point. 

The next day was the large family gathering of my dad’s wife’s family. I go every year. Again, my dad seemed okay. Detached, but okay. After another call from my cat sitter that Charlie is still shitting everywhere I had Kit take him to the vet the next day. 

Christmas night I decided to go see A Complete Unknown. My dad went home and his wife’s son and grandchildren were going there to open presents. Ten minutes into the movie I get a couple of calls and texts from Rosie, Dad’s wife, saying there was a problem with my dad. Then her granddaughter texted saying I had to call Rosie because my father was being abusive and crazy angry. I left the movie and called. Rosie told me my dad threw a rage fit and told everyone to get the fuck out of his house and he started kicking presents around. Apparently, he did this all without his walker. Anger is a powerful drug. 

Everyone was scared and shocked at the outburst. 

She put him on the phone because she believes I’m the Dad Whisperer, which I am. I asked him what the fuck was wrong with him and why did he lose his shit and scare everyone. He said he didn’t. I pressed him. He said it was because no one was talking to him. So, he ruined Christmas for everyone.

I wish I could say this was because of his dementia but he did this my whole life. Erratic, abusive outbursts when it wasn’t about him enough. I told him that. He said it wasn’t true. I got choked up.

It’s what remains of a person. I guess it was a long shot that my old man would become docile and manageable like some dementia patients do. The 'fuck you' is the last to go with guys like my dad. 

I enjoyed A Complete Unknown. Very good film. 

All that said, Charlie was diagnosed with stress-induced colitis because I left him. I realized he does this in one way or another every time I leave. Doesn’t eat, vomits, shits or a trifecta. Now I know for sure. 

I have a dad that rages when he doesn’t get love or attention and a cat that shits everywhere for the same reasons. 

On Friday morning Kit went by my house and found the ceiling leaking in the kitchen. I woke up to the possibility of a burst pipe and my house being out of commission while the ceiling has to be torn out. Awesome. I had her turn off the water main and pulled a team together over the phone to deal with it that night and I flew home a day early. 

It turns out it was the loose bolts on the bottom of the tank of the toilet upstairs. Water was seeping into the floorboards and finally bubbled the paint and leaked into the kitchen. A blessing. Just a paint job fix. 

What did I learn? That needy animals can be dangerous, scary and may shit all over everything. And sometimes things aren’t as bad as you think. Important lessons. 

Happy New Year. 

Today I talk to actor Ron Livingston, who I like. On Thursday we have a special Ask Marc Anything episode. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

This Time of Year.

Happy Holidays, People!

Or do what you can. Do the best you can. You can get through it. Or enjoy. 

This time of year is always weird for me. I wasn’t really brought up with holidays in the house for very long. I mean, you can’t avoid them. They’re pervasive, intrusive, tiring but I have to assume that many people enjoy them. Right? I’m always surprised that I know all of the Christmas carols because I don’t even really remember singing them. And I’m a Jew. 

I know all The Beatles songs too. Similar somehow. The Beatles songs are comforting, familiar and there are so many. I feel like there’s five Christmas songs, I think. I guess they’re not really similar. They both can get annoying but the intensity of Beatles songs doesn’t really really pick up once a year. They’re just always lurking. 

I know everything slows down this time of year. It feels quiet. Like everyone is cloistered in their own little family and friend world. Somehow it always surprises me. I am generally alone-ish. I have a moment of, ‘What the fuck is happening? Where is everyone?’ Then I realize I’m all alone in this world and I’m not connected to anything or anyone that is festive and nostalgic and god-loving. 

Even Hanukkah was a bit intermittent. It happened sporadically and generally not for all of the nights. Over the years I have lit a candle or two. It feels good but not because it takes me back to family and community. It just makes me feel like a real Jew, which I like occasionally. 

I tend to get a bit spaced out during this time. I wouldn’t say depressed. I think it's more pensive and reflective. Depressed. I know it’s not clinical, just a feeling of separateness and isolation. Untethered. 

The reflective part is difficult. I don’t have many regrets but I do have a bit of shame about past incarnations of myself and my behavior. That is not regret but it is hard to accept sometimes. I lean into knowing that I have changed in many ways. It’s comforting but sometimes it’s really hard to do that. I really can't believe I was who I was at certain times in my life. When I pick these periods and events to reflect on I try to give myself a break, forgive myself. That doesn’t really work. The knowledge that I don’t act like that anymore and I am aware of my behaviors and try to act differently is the best I can do. 

I have enough distance from past me now to really see myself honestly. It’s a little rough. Life is short and weird. Some things change and some things don’t and you ultimately run out of time. 

Joy. There’s a lot of talk of joy this time of year. I can understand it. I think I can feel it. I have no control over it. Is it a choice?

Maybe if I focus on gratitude and look at the parts of my life that were and are great that would be helpful. I’ll do that. 

I really have to start seeing myself in a positive way. That’s what I will work on this week through the New Year. 

I’m trying to see myself in relation to the work I’ve done. I’ve been beating the shit out of myself for not doing enough comedy. Which means not doing it compulsively. I have a tour coming up that is a continuation of the tour I put on hold to do a few acting jobs one after the other. Instead of being pissed at myself I should just frame it as working in another medium that I wanted to work in and feeling it out. 

Now I have to lock in to expressing myself with the funny and let the time we live in move through me. I’m not exactly clear on it all but I’m reading some books. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté, Surviving Autocracy by Masha Gessen and The Crisis of Culture by Olivier Roy. Light stuff. Holiday reading. 

I had an amazing time shooting in NYC on Deliver Me From Nowhere with Jeremy Strong and Jeremy Allen White and Paul Walter Hauser. It was a small part but Bruce Springsteen was there every day and because I had talked to him on the show before I was comfortable just hanging out and chatting with him. It was amazing. 

I have a good life. 

Today I talk to Bruce Vilanch about Bette Midler, writing for variety shows and the Oscars and other back in the day stuff. Thursday we look back at the roots of WTF with a bunch of material that was only available as bonus stuff. So if you aren’t a bonus subscriber this will be your first time hearing this stuff. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Ham-Fisted Garishness.

The Boss, People.

I’m flying into New Jersey to do a little part in the Springsteen biopic, Deliver Me From Nowhere. I get to pretend like I’m a recording engineer for a few days.  Knobs and such. Not too many lines, just the illusion of riding the faders.

I played Largo with the band the other night and I think it went pretty well, I feel like I’m singing and playing better in front of people. It doesn’t seem like a big deal but overcoming fears and doing new things is just as impactful in your sixties as it was when I was kid. 

It’s always good to unload some fears. Free up some space and try not to let it be filled by expanding existing fears. 

This anticipatory period of despair is only for another month. Trying to live life as we understand it now, with a bit more intensity, is fraught with the nagging reality of the oncoming cultural and political shit show that will shift our way of being. 

Anxiously (and not the good kind) waiting for chaos. I imagine it will start with an oppressive display of ham-fisted garishness followed by days or weeks of theatrical signings of executive orders and immediate investigations of innocent people and the pardoning of traitors while moving people who live and work here into camps or prisons. Ringing in the new year with fear and desperation for millions while millions more celebrate it. The new cultural norm of thriving on the thrill they get from seeing people defeated, hopeless, in pain and ostracized for any number of reasons. 

Their bootlicking clown puppets will buffer them with hack anti-woke jokes that they believe imply inclusivity, but are inclusive only as long as their terms are accepted and the terms are their cultural dominance. Their idea of free speech is reveling in ‘Shut the fuck up, you fucking babies.’ Many will. 

No reason to legislate authoritarianism. It will just happen at the hands of so many willing to terrorize and troll people into silence and compliance. 

Good times. 

Maybe I’m being a little extreme. I hope so. 

The movie The Order is now out in theaters. Maybe that’s why I’m being a bit dark in this dispatch. It’s the true story of the first white nationalist domestic terrorist group in the States. I play the radio host Alan Berg who was gunned down in his driveway for the way he thought and talked. It was only a few minutes of screen time but it resonates. 

Every state has at least one operating domestic terrorist group now and the incoming administration is sympathetic to their agenda on some level. 

The movie was directed by Justin Kurzel, who I talk to on Thursday's show. I watched many of his other movies. He's a great filmmaker. It’s grim, dark, poetic Australian stuff. Check it out if you have the tolerance for that. The films I watched are Snowtown, Nitram and True History of Kelly Gang. Great films. 

Today I talk to Bobbi Althoff. She’s a bit of a viral sensation with her odd interviews of entertainers. I was kind of curious about her and her character but the conversation turned out to be very informative about what show business is now, with the younger generation. I also found her story quite engaging and inspiring somehow. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Mind-Blowing Events.

A bit of relief, People.

I’m weird. Emotionally screwed up. I have a handle on it for the most part. I accept who I am, ish. 

It’s exciting when new information that pertains to who you think you are gets introduced into your brain. It’s also good when new information about the world based on someone else’s point of view or perception informs your own. It’s also good when your expectations are hijacked by reality and they are completely different, for better or worse. 

There are mind-blowing moments. I like to have my mind blown. It doesn’t get blown by just anything surprising. It gets blown when new territory is opened up in my mind and it spreads and informs everything else. Or when a burden is lifted and that frees up more mental space. 

I had a few mind-blowing events happen over the last week. As some of you know I went to NYC last week to do a music show and check out the potential venue for my HBO special taping in May. I was nervous about the music show. I was excited about the venue but I hadn’t seen it in person. 

The biggest revelation that happened came through an email from a listener who was responding to my musings about possibly having ADHD. This was new to me and quite a few listeners have been chiming in about it. Primarily around discussions or mentions of narcissism which I know I don’t have. I have too much self awareness and guilt, dread and conscience to have that. I always assume I had some traits of it because I grew up with it in my father.

A listener named Cameron wrote about ADHD:

‘We are attempting to orient ourselves to the new information but what it looks like is self-centered behavior, in part because it is but it's not because of narcissism… People with ADHD's self-concept or sense of self fades when we are not doing the things that matter most to us. People think of misplacing keys as the example of memory challenges. We misplace our sense of self. So when you perform music at Largo the experience is always better than the thoughts that lead up to it. I teach and when I teach I am reminded of what matters to me. Our experience informs our sense of self providing important feedback loops.’

What!? We misplace our sense of self. That nugget will change everything for me. I doubt I’ll go get diagnosed or seek medication. I tend to use a cognitive approach and information that changes my understanding and/or perception is helpful. 

So, as I wander the world wondering where my self is while I converge on things that matter, anxiety rules. 

Just to lay out the events of the last week without writing a book here:

I’ve been reading a book that I barely understand by the author Olivier Roy called The Crisis of Culture about the predicament of the reality (or lack thereof) that we are living in and it’s informing some of my own perceptions and informing some of the creative work I’m doing. Mind-blowing. 

I played the gig in NYC and I believe I played better than I ever have and was actually happy about it for a few days. Mind-blowing. 

I went to the Comedy Cellar which I usually avoid for many reasons. One being that I decided I wasn’t really welcomed there. The other being that I have an estranged friend that I haven’t really spoken to in years that is there a lot. The last being that I just haven’t set foot on that stage in years and I was nervous about it like I was when I was starting out there. 

So, I found myself and thought, ‘I’m Marc Maron. I belong there as much as any other comic that came up there.’

I went. Saw the old friend and it was fine. We spoke for the first time in years. I did a spot and it was great. Everyone was relatively happy to see me there. Mind-blowing. 

This whole anxiety/misplaced self business leads to fear and speculation and most of the time it isn’t real. 

Big week. 

Today I talk to Jesse Eisenberg about his new movie A Real Pain and other stuff. Intense guy. Thursday I talk to comedian Andy Blitz who I haven’t really talked to in years about the old days of Luna Lounge and what’s he’s doing now. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

The Untethered Mind.

Back in LA, People.

New Mexico was good. I had time to think. Too much. 

There was no TV where I was staying and I tried to stay off the phone and the computer. I have to be honest. My brain untethered from distraction is not the greatest neighborhood. I’m trying to clean it up. Do some repairs. Some of the structures up there are so old and the foundations so solid they are hard to tear down. Maybe I’ll just move some new stuff into them. That seems to work. Brighten them up a bit. 

I’m happy I feel the need to spend time with my dad. Some of you have commented that it’s odd given what I have said about him and our relationship in the past. I say, not really. My father and I have had our ups and downs but busting his balls has always been part of the dynamic. It may be one of the reasons I became a comic. 

If you have selfish, needy parents who have no real boundaries and see you as an extension of them instead of a separate person when you are child it leads to a crisis of self. That’s what I have grown to believe. Given that, either you disappear or you push back. That pushing back could be for a lifetime on some level. A little bit of fuck you goes a long way with vampiric parents. I mean, you’re not going to feel great about yourself but at least you’ll have some space to figure it out. 

Oddly, that is exactly why I started to do comedy. To have control of some space of my own. I don’t think it was really entertaining for a few years but I figured it out. I leaned in. My biggest fear when I was younger was being embarrassed by my mother or just being embarrassed by life. There is no way to confront that fear radically other than doing possibly the most embarrassing job. Not embarrassing on an appearance level or an economic level but by putting yourself out there to possibly be rejected. Even to the extent of courting rejection in order to try to defy it. I mean, it’s important to be funny and most of what I am talking about I realized later but it seems to make sense to me. 

To this day, sometimes when I do comedy, I feel like my entire sense of self is on the line. That is exactly the way my relationship was with my parents before I could fight it. 

As I’m writing this some of this is just becoming clear to me. Exciting. Thankfully I have a craft in place that will override the need to make everything cringey. Though I still enjoy a bit of that. Keeps shit real. 

I can just be funny now. 

I was very excited to talk to Luca Guadagnino. When we booked him on the show I had no idea his new film Queer was based on the William Burroughs book. I’ve been obsessed with Burroughs most of my adult life. I still can't really wrap my head around his work entirely but I do know it blows my mind anytime I pick any of it up and start reading. 

To talk to someone for an hour about their work and the work of Burroughs was a real treat. 

The antidote to the untethered mind. Talking to other humans in an open way. In this case, talking about someone who untethered their mind and let it go further out than almost anyone in the name of personal expression. 

On Thursday, I talk to Dwight Yoakam. His new album is great but the talk we had was just as good. He’s a historian and storyteller. I’m not even sure I needed to be there. I’m glad I was though. We listened to Creedence on my couch after the talk. Good times. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

A Familiar Corner.

Back in Burque, Folks.

Been home in New Mexico for a few days. Heading up to see the old man today. I don’t know what to expect but I know I can't expect him to be better. It’s kind of amazing that I am the age I am and I still have a dad alive at all. And a mom! Who I can't seem to get to pick up her phone. I’m doing my part. 

I think I am having some old guy mental phenomenon happening. Maybe specifically childless old guy stuff. I think if you have kids your sense of time passing is different. You can see it in your kids. It hits me out of nowhere and somewhat suddenly. 

Maybe something is shorting out in my brain. I don’t know. 

I was standing outside a theater in Los Angeles last week. I have been there many times over the years since I’ve lived in LA. Which is on and off but mostly on since 2002. Twenty-two years. That number just stopped me in my tracks for some reason. I was standing on a familiar corner and I could remember all the times I had been there with many different people, friends, girlfriends, a wife. It was bits and pieces and it all seemed so far away and so immediate simultaneously. 

I knew some of the events were a long time ago now but I couldn’t really account for time since they happened. It was like my mind couldn’t process time. It was past but all present. Like it all happened last week. Like everything that's happened in the years I can remember happened yesterday. It was as if the gap between the past and the present was lifted but everything seemed far away but all one experience. My life. I don’t know if I’m explaining it clearly. 

I was looking at the last 22 years all at once and I felt like I was separate from it. It was a kind of grief. It was all behind me but alive and active in my mind. The memories that fight to be held. The place they hold in my mind is/was alive in a place in time and it’s conflicting with what is now. The present.

My memories become a parallel universe that I’m living in outside of myself. That I have to engage with. I guess the memories that make us who we are happen to be the ones we revisit enough to define our thinking about who we are. Some are connected to scars, souvenirs of a past. 

Apparitions of life experience are haunting my aging vessel. I’m happy to have them. 

Maybe when I come home to Albuquerque it grounds me in a way where I have the space to recollect. Or just collect. Bits and pieces of my life swirling around in my mind. I have to stop them one at a time, grab them and connect them to the story. Make them linear. 

Seeing my dad as his memories fade and disappear along with his basic ability to function also weighs heavy on me. 

I guess I’m scared of the ghosts leaving. What else do we have?

Today I talk to Anthony Jeselnik again. Just catching up. It’s been years since he’s been on. On Thursday I talk to Steve Furey. A very funny guy I’ve gotten to know recently whose mom is going to be very excited he’s on the show. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Rare Magical Beings.

Ringo, People.

I met Ringo Starr. 

I know maybe you think because I interview so many people and have met so many people that it’s not a big deal. I learned my lesson when I talked to Paul. I wasn’t as excited as I should’ve been because I consider myself a John person. Ridiculous. Meeting a Beatle is like meeting a wizard. They literally changed the world. After seeing that Get Back documentary my entire perception of them changed and it was confirmed that they are rare magical beings. 

The situation was a bit odd. 

I went to an art opening. Lily Kwong has a show here in LA. She does very interesting, beautiful, photogram-type work that involves plants with various photographic processing techniques. She’s married to Nick Kroll. When I was there I saw a few people I knew. Ed Helms was one of them. I don’t think we’d seen each other since he was on the show wheezing from cat allergies in my old garage more than a decade ago. I didn’t stop the episode to help him. Needed to get that hour.  I don’t think he’s been avoiding me because of that. Maybe. 

Anyway, he was about to leave and I asked him where he was going. He said he was going to an event and he didn’t know what to expect. It was a listening party for Ringo’s new record. It reminded me that I had been invited by T-Bone Burnett out of nowhere weeks ago and forgot about it. I don’t generally love a quick change of plans but I thought, ‘Fuck it. I want to be in a room with Ringo Starr.’

So, I went down there. It was at Village Recording Studios in Santa Monica which is famous, I think. 

There were about maybe 50 people there. I was looking for people I knew. It was a true Boomer music industry event. A lot of proud gray hair there. There were what seemed to be OG rock and hippie women there with their long silver hair. It was kind of awesome. The men just looked like old music dudes. The guys from The Milk Carton Kids were there who I had met at Conan years ago. I hung with them. 

Ed Begley and his wife were there. They’re sweet. Joe Walsh was there. I reintroduced myself to him. He’s been on the show. He was polite. I don’t think he had any idea who I was. Stephen Stills was there. He seemed very intimidating to me. His wife was nice. It was cool to meet him. I get nervous and excited but I always want to talk longer. This was not the place. 

Ringo came in and I kind of rushed over to meet him. He was with some other old music dudes. One of whom liked my Richard Lewis tribute. So, we all talked about how much we missed Richard. It was sweet. 

Ringo was so Ringo. It was amazing. He was funny. He looked great. It was actually a real thrill to share the space with these folks. The record is great. Maybe I’ll get to talk to him someday. 

The vacuum situation has settled down. Thanks for all your input. 

Today I talk to the amazing Cynthia Erivo about Wicked and life and music and acting. Thursday I talk to Rosemarie DeWitt about her work and Lynn Shelton. Good week. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Actual Free Speech.

Okay, Folks.

I’m an insecure guy. A defensive guy. I can be reactive and cranky. It all comes from a painful sensitivity that is almost self erasing. That sensitivity has evolved over the years. An empathy has grown over the years as well. When I was younger, I was a selfish, toxic fuck of a person at times. I did all the dark, shocking jokes. I pushed the barriers of taste and correctness. I took chances. That's how you grow as an artist and a person. You learn from that. You should anyway. I did. 

I have been humbled by age and experience, grief and disappointment, life. All that has enabled me, as an older person, to open my heart a bit and behave in a conscientious way. 

For me, politics has always been cultural. I’m not a dummy. I know that the system has been sold out and is mostly just a money laundering front for corporate interests and greed. But if the middle management, the President, was at least fostering some empathy and tolerance and embracing the cultural ideas of democracy, I was okay with it. 

Free speech.

I’ve never said anything other than you can say whatever you want. We’ve always been able to say whatever we want. Sometimes, there were consequences culturally that were damning. Sometimes there were consequences from business interests that aligned themselves with sensitivity and empathy toward a perceived marginalized group. Any consequences for saying anything is seen by the right as censorship and an indicator of wokeness. 

Corporations aren’t generally woke. They aren’t acting out of the goodness of their corporate hearts but instead to protect their bottom lines. Which most have realized they don’t have to do anymore. 

So, what are the parameters of this ‘Freedom of Speech’ platform that is so important to the new majority? To the point that they don’t care how much blood they get on their hands, how many vulnerable lives they destroy, or how much terror they put in the hearts of vulnerable Americans. Is that just a small price to pay for this idea of freedom of speech? Which, as seen in their actions, is utterly conditional. 

I mean, what is woke? What is this enemy? 

It seems to be if you speak from a place of:

Sensitivity
Empathy
Vulnerability (or on behalf of the vulnerable)
Fear (personal or for the world)
Anger at being targeted or suppressed
Anger in service of defending the freedom to live the way you want to live in what is supposed to be a free country
Concern for others less fortunate or unable to defend themselves

It seems that in the face of the this new majority, the response to these expressions of speech is:

‘Shut the fuck up.’ 

That's a directive. That can logically be followed by:

‘Or I’ll shut you up.’

A threat.

So, to be clear, the freedom of speech they are always going on about and what they are willing to fight for, despite the collapse of the system and the cruelty that will come from that, is totally conditional and in the service of complete suppression of actual free speech. They are now the censors. It’s not corporate. It’s ideological and it has nothing to do with the constitution. It is the censorship of terrorizing speech and likely with acts of terror but hopefully not. Who knows?

Today I talk to the great Jessica Lange. On Thursday Josh Brolin came back to talk again. Love that guy. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live.

Love,
Maron

Just Vote.

Well, People.

In a couple of days it will be a whole new country. Stability or chaos. 

Those are the choices. 

I assume you’ve all done what you had to do. Voted. 

I guess we’ll eventually adapt to whatever happens. I hope it’s adjusting to new possibilities of tolerance, fairness, justice and democracy. 

I will never fully understand how some people get so brain-addled as to justify and/or rationalize the insanity of a thoroughly unstable grifting candidate for any kind of office. Whether it’s pseudo-libertarian nihilistic chaos junkies or tear-it-all-down lefties or emotionally broken trauma survivors who only know angry entitlement and vengeance. I get the Christians. I get the straight-up fascists. 

I don’t get the people I know personally who think it’s a good direction for the country. 

I assume it’s because of shallowness, disengagement. Not really understanding the existential threat to our system. Thinking it’s just another election or that he really doesn’t mean what he says. Or some other complex, conspiratorial bullshit. 

The horrors possible of even the first week of a Trump presidency could destabilize the culture, the economy and thousands of lives of people of color, LGBTQ people, immigrants, people who believe in tolerance, empathy and the democratic idea. Destabilize for good. 

They are talking annihilation. Whether they mean it or not the effect is annihilating. When people become afraid to speak or shout or protest or have contrary ideas or to be themselves the impact is the same. You can only hope that they won’t start killing to make an example to those who think or believe differently. 

I know it sounds extreme and I am not freaking out. I am rational. I see what is here and what could be coming. 

It is not a stretch. We are spoiled with distractions. We are self-centered in our small lives. 

But the worst of humanity and civilization has happened over and over all over the world for centuries. Even here. 

Why not here right now?

Just vote. Speak out. It matters. 

Today I talk to comedian Mo Mandel. Thursday I talk to comedian Robby Hoffman. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love, 
Maron

The Democratic Idea.

Anxious, Folks.

We’re all anxious I assume. 

It’s funny. I don’t do a political show but I am very political. Innately. I keep up. I read too many clickbait pieces. I waver between almost uncontrollable fear and, not really hope, but just fantasizing for an outcome that will guarantee the progress of culture and freedom of mind for everyone. 

Once tolerance is removed from the dialogue, democracy suffocates. 

Even though I do not do a political show I have been very clear in my specials and on the podcast that I believe, and have believed for years, what is brewing in this country is an American fascist movement rooted half in grievance and half in Jesus and enabled by tech oligarchs and an inundation of propaganda from many sources. 

Well, it's fully percolated and pouring into the minds of all of us. It is shameless and proud. Culturally, the combination of blatant racist fear mongering and the anti-woke movement has delivered their message for the future. A future that marginalizes almost all voices. 

The anti-woke flank of the new fascism is being driven almost exclusively by comics, my peers. Whether or not they are self-serving or true believers in the new fascism is unimportant. They are of the movement. Whether they see themselves as acolytes or just comics doesn’t matter. Whether they are driven by the idea that what they are fighting for is a free speech issue or whether they are truly morally bankrupt racists doesn’t matter. They are part of the public face of a fascist political movement that seeks to destroy the democratic idea. 

When comedians with podcasts have shameless, self-proclaimed white supremacists and fascists on their show to joke around like they are just entertainers or even just politicians, all it does is humanize and normalize fascism. When someone uses their platform for that reason they are facilitating anti-American sentiment and promoting violent autocracy. 

It may be all self-serving. Greedy influencers and comics and public personalities and certainly tech companies want to align themselves with an unapologetic right wing movement that has no concerns for regulation or law or justice or decency or democracy to increase their earnings and put them in the seat of power. 

Fascism is good for business if you toe the line. Popular podcasts became tribal and divisive years ago. Now they may be in the position to become part of the media oligarchy under the new anti-democratic government. 

Hopefully, it goes the other way and tolerance and diversity can breathe and inch forward but who knows?

I’m trying to remain a realist and live my life and do the things that keep the existential crisis this all seems to bring out of me at bay. 

Try to realize that you don’t have to annihilate yourself in the face of cultural annihilation. Hold onto who you are and try not to be afraid to live your truth in the midst of an avalanche of toxic bullshit. 

Today I talk to Robert Patrick about his acting roles, sobriety, motorcycles and life. Thursday I talk to Billy Corben about his new documentary on Lev Parnas and the crimes of Trump. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Places I've Never Gone.

Breakthroughs, People.

It’s rare in life as you get older to have life changing breakthroughs that aren’t rooted in something awful. You get to a certain age and if you aren’t really in the market or searching for a breakthrough it’s always going to be surprising. Something that just happens as a reaction, to cope. I’m speculating here, but it sounds solid. 

I believe I am still looking for something, creatively and personally. I don’t always acknowledge it but I keep putting myself out there on the line.

With acting, I don’t really feel like I know what I am doing. I believe I am instinctually good but I rarely feel like I have a craft in place other than trying. Which ain’t nothing. Putting myself out there. 

Certainly all of you who listen to the show hear me picking the brains of actors. I am trying to cobble together some method of approach. Glean some magic information. I’m sure it’s annoying on some level. 

Reading Al Pacino’s book reframed a lot of how I looked at acting. As a mode of expressing personal truth. But unlike comedy, it is to service a story or a piece of art. My comedy has always been about arriving at some personal or cultural truth. I believe that is all I’ve been concerned with. I never really thought about acting as a way to do that. To find truth within the role or the performance. It was just something I wanted to be good at or learn. To transform myself, be part of a collaborative effort, be seen. Make a great performance. 

I certainly wasn’t in it for the money. I never am. 

I was working on set last week with one of the best actresses ever and I had no choice but to go places I’ve never gone before in any part of my life and do it as a character. I really didn’t think I could get there but with her help I did. I can’t go into detail now. I know that seems like a tease but I will tell the story when the rest of the cast is announced. Soon. 

I will say this. After doing that scene, which you wouldn’t necessarily think would have this type of impact on me, I don’t think I will ever be the same. 

A breakthrough, a release, a whole new world in a way. It opened up something that will change my entire perception of how I create and act and express myself. I took a chance, dug deep and let it happen. I’ll tell you about it soon. 

On a different note, Kit’s crazy mini Bull Terrier bit my ear. We were sitting outside and she just ran up and bit my fucking ear. Drew blood. Left a mark. I panicked because I am shooting a movie and it was a significant gash pretty close to my face. 

I had to go in and get it glued up. I think it will cover easily but now you know. Like an easter egg of some kind. If the movie makes it out you can wonder which scenes I am doing with a damaged ear. I mean, hopefully the movie comes out well enough and that isn’t the only reason you’re watching. 

Today I talk to the prolific director Robert Zemeckis about his new film Here and most of his other ones. On Thursday I talk to country singer Keith Urban about life and music. Great talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Here Now.

Gratitude, People!

Do it! Now!

I am reluctant and or disconnected from my ability to express or acknowledge gratitude. In relation to my life and the people in it. In relation to what it took me to get to the place I am and let it be a source of active empathy and some selfless engagement. Let it get me to love. 

I was in a situation the other night. A good situation. An event. I saw a lot of people there that I have known for years. We are all getting older. Some of us are gone. We’ve all had the lives we’ve had and are having in the industry of show business. I’ve known many, including myself, that went through years and years of lean, searching times. Many of us have come through and, at the very least, arrived at ourselves. Creative people that have actualized their talent, realized its limitations and do amazing things with their creativity. 

That’s a fucking miracle. To arrive at yourself with your talent as your sword. To keep it sharp is a whole other job. Many people hire sharpeners. I have my own whetstone. I just like doing the manual labor of me. 

It’s not a hero’s journey. It’s just the life of a creative person. The obstacles are insane and sometimes more than half of them are self-generated unintentionally. The odds of making it are slim and long term security is fleeting. 

What I’m getting at is that I never really felt that my life was a struggle. It was a compulsive, myopic need to express myself somehow. I struggled here and there with money, drugs and relationships but the core was always about self-expression and becoming me. 

Now, I am on the other side of much of what got me here which feels like a cloud of spent dopamine and emotional intensity that went on for years. I am here now. With a good sense of who I am and my talents, usually. I just wanted to take a moment to express some gratitude. I want to thank anyone who is reading this for being there for my journey and I hope my self-expression has brought you… feelings. Whatever they may be or are. 

It really wasn’t heading this way for me. So, I just want to take a breath and thank whatever gave me the grace to do what I do. Thanks, cosmic timing, because that’s a lot of it. When the stars align you better be ready to do the work. I was. A lot. Still do. Worker. 

There's many people involved in this journey and I grateful to all of them. 

Now, I just have to figure out how to have fun. 

I’m starting work on this movie tomorrow and it’s a big job. I’m nervous, I think I suck, I think I’m unprepared, I think that everyone on set will know immediately that they made the wrong choice and I don’t believe I can do it. I do know many of these things aren’t true but I have a weird way of preparing that involves beating the shit out of myself. It’s a hostile approach to putting the ego aside. 

You’ll notice in many of the upcoming episodes when I talk to actors I’m looking for tricks and tips with thinly veiled desperation. Just a little panic. 

I’m grateful though. Maybe even for my panic. 

Today I talk to the legendary music producer Joe Boyd about his essential new book ‘And the Roots of Rhythm Remain.’ Thursday I talk to the legendary actor Al Pacino about Al Pacino (and acting). 

Enjoy!

Booker, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Growth.

Weddings, People.

I went to a wedding this past weekend. It seems unusual at this age to be invited to weddings. It’s usually a funeral and phone calls about divorces. 

It was a beautiful ceremony. My buddy Tom Scharpling and his fiancee Julia Vickerman are now together forever. I’m very happy for them. 

The nice thing about getting married when you’re older or if you’ve had a wedding before is that you can really do it exactly how you want to do it with just the people you want to be there. It seems that first marriages and marriages when you’re younger feel like you have a big family responsibility and a lot of things that to worry about that may not really be about you. I don’t think Julia has been married before. Tom has and I don’t know what his first one was like but this one was stunning. They are both creative people and it was just a perfect celebration of who they are and what they will be. We had a lovely time. 

I have had two weddings. One big Jewish one that got away from us in the sense that there was tremendous family responsibility and a need to include so many people that didn’t have anything to do with our lives. My second wedding was done in kind of a panic in my backyard before I went away for while and our fathers weren’t allowed to come. Both marriages failed for different reasons.

I am pretty committed to not being married again. I just don’t see the point anymore. When I go  to weddings the happiness I feel for the couple and emotions I experience are countered by the feeling that I really blew it somehow. For reasons of emotional immaturity and seeming inability to have healthy relationships. Then, tragedy and loss later in life pummeled me. I am cynical and incapacitated about love and marriage and I don’t know if I will turn that around. I’m glad I didn’t have to make a toast. I think bringing that stuff up would probably be a bad opening for it. 

Kit and I had a good time. Dressed up, danced, talked to people. It was fun. It had been a pretty trying couple of days so we needed it. 

On Friday Kit’s car was stolen. That’s a huge bummer. She had to file a police report and tell the insurance company. I had to not make it about me and escalate the crisis by somehow blaming her or getting aggravated that we’d have to get a new car or any number of ways I could have just made it worse. I didn’t do that. I’m very proud of myself. Because it’s my impulse to make thing worse somehow. Growth. 

Then, while we were getting ready to go to the wedding, after having accepted the situation and had a plan to deal with the car theft, the cops called and told her they found the car. It was literally a block away from where she had parked it. At that point she had to go back to her place and deal with the cops and I couldn’t go because I needed to be at the wedding. She would probably miss the ceremony and have to Uber there for the party. Again, I didn’t really know what to do but I knew I had to be at the wedding and she could deal with the car but it was stressful and I could’ve made it worse but I didn’t. Again. I’m amazing, just for being a normal person who can handle things. Growth. It doesn’t come easy. 

Suffice to say, I am still not emotionally healthy but I can make different choices for myself in light of that as to not cause chaos and pain in others. 

Maybe there is hope for me. I’ll get it right on my death bed. 

We still don’t know what happened to the car but apparently old Hyundais are targeted for joy rides because they are easy to start without a key. Nothing was missing or damaged. Kids. 

Today I talk to Sebastian Stan about the two very different movies he’s starring in that are out this week. Thursday I talk to Langston Kerman about comedy and teaching and poetry. Great talks!

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Principles.

Happy Birthday!

To me. 

I turned 61 last Friday. I’m not thrilled. 

I’m glad to be alive, mostly. I’m pretty healthy. I have a lot going on in my life it seems. So, I ask myself, why am I not thrilled? 

Because I can't settle my mind about certain things that I should’ve let go of long ago. Why? I have a feeling it's just part of my engine and I’m not sure how the engine will run if I take out those parts. Or if I even can at this point. 

Resentment, self-judgement, fear, insecurity. They are actually a menu of the three prime movers of almost any ism. I mean, I am highly aware of all of them. They don’t run my life. Most of them don’t have too much real juice in my mind but they are still reflexes I have to deal with almost daily and in many ways. They just gnaw at me as opposed to running my life, I think. 

It’s odd, but when you have issues that gnaw at you, but don’t consume you because you are aware of them every time they come up, you have to engage with them and disarm them. That is the daily battle. When you are victorious it feels pretty amazing. I guess I do envy people that don’t really have to fight that fight most of the time but I think by fighting it out I get some of my best thinking and inspiration done. Because they are fundamental parts of my thinking. And the roots of my empathy to some degree. 

Every day is full of exciting revelations when you take almost everything personally, project a lot and imagine the worst outcome of most situations. 

The truth is, most of them are kind of tired and the beautiful thing about getting older is you really start running out of fucks to give just from experience and wisdom. The wisdom that comes from giving way too many fucks and realizing most of them are a total waste of fucks and fucking time is priceless. 

Hard earned fucking lessons. 

It does seem that I am missing out on some of the good part of the whole being alive experience, but some room is created from all the space that was being taken up by all the fucks I was giving and I'm getting some real peace. Zero fucks equals peace of mind. As long as the fucks you are giving up are non-essential fucks. It’s important to keep essential fucks in place. Principles. 

Some of those principles can be rooted in fear and resentment but why judge that part if the principles are solid. Most of the principles come out of some kind of empathy for the truly unique people of the world. 

When your brain is spinning all the time just trying to find a place to land in the chaos of your life and the world, and that's a problem to be solved all the time, you're at least 90 percent more interesting than well-grounded, confident people. 

That’s what I think today. I’ll question it as soon as I finish writing this. 

Today I talk to the very funny Kaitlin Olson. On Thursday I talk to the very professional Connie Chung. Good talks. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

Trying to Control Imaginary Problems.

Through it, People.

A week of Covid. 

It wasn’t great but, in honesty, it wasn’t awful. It was really more like a bad cold than anything else. Covid does have its own style though. It feels a little different sitting in your sinuses. It’s a little deeper up in there and there’s an itch to it that is unlike other sinus situations. Covid has Covid style. 

It was the second time I’ve had it. The first was a couple years ago. I’m not even sure how long ago it was but it was a rougher experience. It was very depleting. I was wiped for a week. That was not really the case this time. The first couple of days I felt sick but that was the worst of it. 

I did have to cancel a couple of shows but I was most worried about not being one hundred percent for Friday and Saturday in Tucson and Phoenix. I was fine. Other than having not done a long set in months, once I got up there it all came back. Tucson was a longer looser show because I was riffing a lot to get back in the zone. Great show. Phoenix was tighter, different but also a great show. 

The Orpheum Theatre in Phoenix was amazing. I had never been there. It’s really one of the great old theaters. Just beautiful, being in those performance spaces that were built when people just built the shit out things. Just big, beautiful and ornate. Great space. 

My birthday is this week. The 27th. I turn 61. I’m really trying not to let age affect me mentally but it is difficult. The darkness is coming. I actually need to embrace it because it's essential to the character I have to play in this movie coming up. It’s the job. 

So much of the way I think and what I think about is kind of a timeless loop of panic and insecure rumination I have been spinning since I was in my twenties. Those neural pathways don’t know age but the more controllable areas of my brain are entirely self-aware and really trying to get the loops to tighten up or come undone entirely. They keep me in a chronic present of manufactured problems and obsessive thought that serves no purpose. Or does it. I think it might be how I ground myself. It is fleeting and exhausting. Fortunately I can focus my obsessive super powers on almost anything. No shortage of options for stabilizing through trying to control imaginary problems of mundane tasks. This is the idea I’m going to build on for my spiritual text. 

I’m tired of the anxious vigilance of trying to control dumb events and things. I was supposed to fly out of Phoenix at 10:15 am on Southwest. I got a text from them at 8 am that the flight was going to be delayed four hours for who the fuck knows. I jumped into action and got myself on the 12:55 as a backup. Literally bought another ticket. Didn’t change flights. So, I then had two boarding passes for two different flights. Then, at nine, a text came through that the 10:15 was back on. I had already settled into getting the 12:55 but I couldn’t stay settled. I snapped into action. Panic ready. I decided to Tom Cruise Mission: Impossible it. Threw my clothes, books and water bottle into my bag. Got the car at the valet. I had to get to the airport, return the car, take the train to the terminal, get through security for a 9:45 boarding. Exciting. 

Somehow I made it to security at 9:40 and then got randomly selected for a hand test for bad stuff AND my bag got pulled for further checking. I was losing my mind. Paced around. Did the ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ thing aloud. It’s now 9:42 and the bag checking guy goes on break. I’m so pissed because I had made it. This is fucking my mission up. 

The dumb thing was I wasn’t going to miss the flight but I wanted to have my place in line. I was A2. That’s a top spot on Southwest. So, I’m fuming. The new TSA guy goes into my bag and pulls out my water bottle which was FULL! Are you fucking kidding me? It was my fault. Amateur move. Cruise wouldn’t have fucked that up because it would’ve meant life or death. I just might not make my spot on the line. 

I was the fuming asshole who had fucked himself. Not my favorite role.

I ran and made my boarding spot. So dumb. Winning. 

Today I have a talk with Elizabeth Olsen which is amazing. I talk to Kathleen Hanna from Bikini Kill on Thursday. Also amazing. 

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron

The Golf Bug.

I’m done, People!

And sick. 

We wrapped last Friday night. We shot ten episodes. The first one feels like it happened years ago. It’s a strange feeling. A shoot is a very intense, very real community. You’re with the same people for months. Everyone has specific jobs and some of those jobs are brushing your face and hair many times a day. Among many others, obviously. 

It was sort of crazy that for the entire shoot there were no real weather issues. Minor ones, maybe. Then, the last night, Friday the 13th, It poured and we had to change up the last three scenes. No issues until the last three scenes. Crazy. 

I have to say the whole experience was great. All the people that worked on the show were really nice, professional. Like, no problems. They even put up with me. I can get a bit grumpy but I think on the spectrum of annoying behavior of actors in general, I’m in the ok zone. Most of my grumpiness is self-generated and has nowhere to go but back in so I tend to share it. If it's too intense, I make up for it somehow. Usually by not being grumpy. It’s a delicate balance. 

I think the show is going to be good. It’s touching and emotional and funny and the relationships are human and there's golf. Lots of golf.

I will report that I did not get the golf bug. TaylorMade sent me a set of clubs so I’m not saying I won't, but I didn’t after being around it for months. It’s intimidating. I can tell from the nature of it, just as an addict, that if you have one good game or even one great shot, you may chase that feeling for the rest of your life. On the surface and under it, that seems frustrating to me. I had one or two good shots off camera that really connected. I get the buzz. It might have been enough though. We’ll see. 

It was great working with Owen Wilson. We got along very well. Sweet guy. Funny. Real professional. All the cast was great. Peter Dager, Marianna Treviño and Lilli Kay were the core bunch. Timothy Olyphant and Judy Greer came on later. Great bunch of actors. I learned a lot. 

I was antsy to get home though. I needed to get back to my life. I was ready. I was going to jump right back into standup and talking to people and being at my house. It was urgent. After we wrapped, I was all packed and ready to go. That last night in Vancouver I crashed and at some point during the night I felt congested. It felt like I was coming down with something. Which isn’t unusual after a shoot. Your body holds it off for weeks and then just lets go. 

I flew home not feeling great but I was happy to get home. I was tired of sitting around by myself waiting to shoot or wandering around Vancouver alone. I was feeling isolated and a bit crazy. Saturday I felt ill. I woke up stuffed up. I figured I should get a Covid test because I had standup and talks to do. 

Fucking positive. 

So, now I get to sit around and be isolated at home. Which I guess is better. I had to cancel some interviews and the two warm up shows in LA at Dynasty and Elysian. It kills me to cancel shit. I hate it. I think it’s the right thing to do though. I don’t know what other people are doing or if people even test anymore but I guess all that trauma of the pandemic made me understand that it’s my responsibility. 

I don’t feel too sick but I am bummed. I’m trying to look at it as forced relaxation. I’ll read, work on my lines for my movie, do some cleaning, hang out with my dumb cats.

I’m going to fucking lose it.

I think I may need to finally get a food delivery app. I don’t know how I’ve avoided it this long.

Today I talk to Eric Roberts. Intense guy. On Thursday I talk to Jason Ritter. Deep guy. Great talks!

Enjoy!

Boomer, Monkey and LaFonda live!

Love,
Maron