This Bride Wore A ’90s Dress And Antique Lace Veil Made By A Friend For Her Upper East Side Wedding
Andrea Whittle and Ben Cutler’s courtship started as a summer flirtation. Ben is one of four brothers, and Andrea went to boarding school with the two oldest, Josh and Peter. “That summer, their ages all added up to 100, so they threw a ‘Cutler Centennial’ at their family home in Maine and piled all of their friends into the house for a week of tennis, sailing, swimming and chaos,” Andrea, who is the features director at W magazine, remembers. The two didn’t start officially dating until the following summer though, when Andrea rented a cabin down the road from their place for the month of June.
Three years later, Ben proposed with a sapphire ring in the same kitchen in Maine where they’d had their first kiss. “He picked the stone because the colour reminds him of the ocean,” Andrea says.
The wedding was on 4 May, and there were three locations spread across East 91st Street in Carnegie Hill. “It was a love letter to the neighbourhood I grew up in,” Andrea explains. “And because the first two parts were held in what used to be grand turn-of-the-century private homes, a friend referred to it as a ‘Gilded Age block party.’”
The wedding ceremony and cocktail hour took place in the garden at the Cooper Hewitt, Smithsonian Design Museum. Next, guests walked across the street for dinner and dancing at the James A Burden House. And then, at 11 pm, a saxophone player led the group across Madison Avenue for an after-party in the bride’s family home. “We hung a disco ball from the dining room ceiling and our friend Jason DJ-ed until 4 am,” Andrea adds.
The entire event was put together in just eight months. “At first, we thought we wanted to get married in Maine, since it means so much to us and has played such an important part in our relationship,” Andrea notes. “But since so many of our guests were coming from Europe and the UK – I’m half Italian, Ben is half English – it just didn’t make sense from a logistical perspective. So we opted for New York, where we live and where I grew up.”
Andrea never pictured herself having a city wedding, so she wanted it to feel as close to a backyard affair as possible, while also being connected to the energy of Manhattan. “A hotel ballroom or a plug-and-play event venue just didn’t feel right to me,” she says. “Both the Cooper Hewitt garden and the James A Burden house didn’t quite make sense on their own for what we wanted to do, but together they worked perfectly – they made for a gracious and fun transition from ceremony to cocktails to seated dinner to dancing.” (Ending the night at home meant they would have total control over the end of the night, making sure nobody would be kicked out when the party was still going.)
For the food, Andrea knew from the start that she wanted to go with Acquolina Catering. “The founder, Yolanda Garetti, is an old friend of my mom’s, and they have been an important part of so many family celebrations over the years,” she explains. “I knew we could trust them to put together a delicious Italian feast that felt elegant and festive but not fussy. And they really delivered – everything was beyond, from the fried sage leaves during cocktail hour to the DIY affogatos after dinner.”
The bride booked all of the venues herself, but was having trouble finding a wedding planner who understood her vision. “I asked the Acquolina team if they had any great planners to recommend, and they pointed me in the direction of Alexandra Maione Events,” she remembers. “We connected immediately. She was totally on board for the roving-block-party concept, and she helped us pull together all of the nitty-gritty details that I never would have thought of but that were essential to a great party.”
Andrea is a big second-hand shopper, so from the very beginning, she had her mind set on wearing a vintage piece on her wedding day. “Funnily enough, the dress I ended up wearing was served to me in a 1st Dibs Instagram ad,” she admits. “I tracked down the seller and found out that it was a vintage showroom in Midtown. It was the first thing I tried on and it fit me perfectly – no alterations necessary! It’s an unlabelled ivory silk gown from the ’90s with a ’40s-style cut. A real moment of kismet for the social media age.”
Because the dress was so simple, Andrea wanted another element of her look to be a bit more of a fashion moment. “At our engagement party, our friend Lillian Dilustro, who is an incredibly talented designer and a Lesage-trained embroiderer, mentioned casually that she would love to design my veil,” Andrea says. A couple of weeks later, the bride sent Lillian a note to ask her if she was serious, and they started brainstorming. “She sourced this incredible array of antique lace on Etsy in shades of pink, ivory, silver, and gold, and then spent many, many hours creating these beaded layers and appliqué lace flowers,” Andrea continues. “A couple of days before the wedding, we added a layer of ivory tulle for a little extra drama, and she sewed the whole thing onto a headband from Zitomer.”
Ben wore a custom double-breasted wool suit from Mr Ned, a tailor near Madison Square Park. “Our very stylish and knowledgeable Parisian friend Christopher Niquet took Ben under his wing,” Andrea remembers. “And they went to the tailor together for the initial fitting.”
The ceremony itself was intentionally family-focused. Ben and his parents walked down the aisle together to kick things off, and all of a sudden, the whole crowd started cheering. They were followed by the couple’s siblings and their families, and then Andrea and her parents. “The cheering was so hilarious and unexpected,” Andrea admits. “And we were all just grinning and laughing from the moment we stepped out into the garden.”
The couple incorporated readings, songs and traditions that resonated with them and those who participated. “My brother read a Frank O’Hara poem, our family friend Mario sang an Italian love song, and Ben’s mother read a line from Fleabag,” Andrea says. Prounis designed the couple’s wedding bands, which are both engraved on the inside with the wedding date and the word “boon”. Ben’s also has a tiny hidden sapphire on the inside to match Andrea’s engagement ring. “[After exchanging rings and kissing,] we were happy and giddy,” Andrea remembers. “I don’t remember doing this, but we high-fived after our first kiss.”
Immediately after the ceremony, the couple moved into a glass-walled room called the conservatory to sign their marriage certificate, and then the party began. There were cocktails and hors d’oeuvres in the garden while the jazz band played, and then the newlyweds made a quick speech to thank everyone for coming and invite them across the street for dinner.
Dinner was set at three long tables. “Ben and I love cooking for friends at home, and we wanted it to feel like a giant dinner party,” Andrea notes. “We spent a lot of time thinking about seating and mixed everybody up – no couples next to each other! – so that everyone could get to know someone new. I also asked for the place cards to be double-sided – a trick I learned from working in the events department at Vanity Fair – so that people could easily learn each other’s names.”
There were three courses: a pink risotto, zucchini scaled sea bass with sunchokes and roasted tomatoes, and fior di latte gelato served with espresso, cookies and chocolate. “The speeches during dinner were emotional, beautiful and hilarious – people are still remarking on how good they all were weeks later,” Andrea says. “I think it helped that everyone we asked to speak knows both of us really well.”
Then the newlyweds danced, cut the cake – a delicious carrot cake by From Lucie – and danced some more. At 11pm, a saxophone player led everyone across Madison Avenue and over to the bride’s family home. “Alexandra and her team had also lit the way with paper bag lanterns, and filled the planters in front of the house with tealights,” Andrea says. “It was a really magical New York moment.”
Inside, trays of espresso martinis and bomboloni – Italian cream-filled doughnuts – were waiting, and people spread out all over the house to chat, dance and kick back. Around midnight, homemade empanadas were passed around and devoured, and the couple’s friend Jason played Afro-house music until the wee hours. “[Looking back,] we love throwing parties and bringing people together for a good time,” Andrea says. “We keep joking that part of us wants to throw a party like this every year, and the other part never wants to plan anything like it ever again.”
Photo: Miles & Miles1/64I love the old-school look of a folded invitation. We commissioned the artist Orfeo Tagiuri to make an illustration for the front and envelope flap, and used one of his “Little Passing Thoughts” drawings for the programmes.
Photo: Miles & Miles2/64My dress hanging in my childhood bedroom. My W colleagues sent me this beautiful arrangement of peonies from Miho Flowers along with a lovely note of congratulations.
Photo: Miles & Miles3/64Looking out the window, probably worrying about the weather! It was a very cold, grey day for May, but luckily it stayed dry.
Photo: Miles & Miles4/64My sister-in-law Annabelle and her mother, Jane, gave me this spectacular pair of Manolos as a bridal shower gift, and I wore them at the after-party. They went beautifully with all of our gold Prounis jewellery.
Photo: Miles & Miles5/64Ben’s brother Josh helping him secure his cufflinks. Ben may or may not have had to Citi Bike to the Ralph Lauren store the morning of the wedding to buy a new shirt. The cufflinks are a sterling silver pair by Jill Platner that I got him as a gift a few years ago.
Photo: Miles & Miles6/64Heading downstairs to get the show on the road.
Photo: Miles & Miles7/64Heading out for photos! One thing that was important to me was that we took all of our formal portraits before the ceremony, so that we could be fully present with our loved ones for the whole evening.
Photo: Miles & Miles8/64We felt a little goofy walking around the neighborhood all dressed up in the middle of the afternoon, but I love these photos!
