No, Women Are Not More Emotional Than Men

If you’re a woman, the odds are that you’ve heard the word “emotional” thrown out to describe your behavior too many times to count. Other common descriptors people have used for you may include “irrational,” “overdramatic,” and “sensitive.”

Yet, a man who responds similarly is often said to have presented a “good take” or “welcome input.” Each of these labels perpetuates the lasting stereotype that men are level-headed and women are unruly, emotional beings incapable of restraint.

The Science of Emotion and Sex

While more research in this area is needed, what we've seen so far supports the idea that emotional differences by sex are a myth.

A 2021 study in Scientific Reports followed 142 men and women to observe their regular emotions. At the study’s end, researchers found that male participants’ emotions fluctuated as much as women's did.

These results represent a significant departure from how emotions are typically viewed between different men and women. “Traditional and rigid gender roles grounded in our patriarchal society depict men as ‘unemotional' and women as ‘emotional,’ says Dr. Catherine McKinley, an associate professor for the Tulane University School of Social Work. "Because the patriarchy portrays men as superior over women, stereotypical traits associated with women and femininity are devalued, discredited, and delegitimized.”

McKinley calls the notion that women are more emotional “just plain false,” adding that “every human always has emotions, whether they identify them or not.” 

The Negative Impact of Emotion-Centered Stereotypes

The notion that certain people are more emotional than others causes serious harm to everybody. “No person truly fits in these boxes. All people have emotion and need connection," says Liz Coleclough, PhD, LICSW, a social worker specializing in trauma therapy. “They may present, behave, or identify in a variety of ways outside of their stereotype assigned at birth. However, characteristics and behaviors that land beyond these gendered expectations can bring rejection, exclusion, even danger.”

When someone attempts to mold themselves into the appearance of fitting into one of these boxes, it limits their ability to grow and express themselves. According to Coleclough, this can cause women to have limited access to power and opportunities and men to stifle the healthy expression of their feelings and minimize deep connections.

For everyone except cisgender men, the impact is felt further by the overarching patriarchal societies across the world which devalue them.

As Coleclough says, “Women are 'allowed' to be emotional—but also must exhibit the right kind and level of emotion. Crying is acceptable. Anger is not.” The ideas of what is acceptable for each gender to express can also perpetuate violence.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in three women will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime. “In a world that pre-determines women to be without power and men to be with power and entitlement, it can be no surprise that this type of violence is so common,” says Coleclough.

“Of course, to even be believed as a 'victim,' a person must still match the feminine description. So often, responsibility for domestic or sexual violence is still placed on a person stepping out of their box," she says.

Takeaway

It's common to feel a desire to fit into the mold that stereotypes provide to your gender, but all they do is limit you fully expressing yourself and your full range of emotions in a healthy manner.

Be honest about how you feel, express those feelings as openly as you want, and never hesitate to ask for help if you need it. If somebody takes issue with an appropriate display of emotion, it is their problem, not yours.