How to Stay Sober

Lasting recovery requires lasting effort, but relapse is not failure or weakness; it takes more than willpower to maintain sobriety. This article discusses the meaning of sobriety and arms you with information and strategies to smooth—and stay on—your path to wellness.

Staying Sober: 13 Strategies

The more tools you have for identifying triggers, coping with stress, and managing your new sober life, the easier you'll prevent relapse. Here are some tips that experts recommend often.

Identify Your Personal Triggers

A big part of preventing relapse is understanding your external triggers: the people, places, things, and situations that elicit thoughts or cravings associated with substance use, as well as internal triggers such as feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

Once you identify your biggest risks, you can create a plan to prepare for or avoid them. Some common triggers may include:

• Stress
• Emotional distress
• Environmental cues
• People who consume alcohol or drugs
• Relationship troubles
• Job or financial problems

Recognize Relapse Warning Signs

A relapse can sneak up on you, usually because you don't recognize the warning signs. A relapse begins long before you actually pick up a drink or a drug and involves three phases: emotional relapse, mental relapse, and physical relapse.

Warning signs of relapse include:

• Returning to addictive thinking patterns
• Engaging in compulsive, self-defeating behaviors
• Seeking out situations involving people who use alcohol and drugs
• Thinking less rationally and behaving less responsibly
• Finding yourself in a situation in which drug or alcohol use seems like a logical escape from pain

Prepare for PAWS

Post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) involves withdrawal symptoms that persist past the detox period. Such symptoms are often related to mood and may include irritability, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, and fatigue.

Depending on the type of dependency, PAWS can last from six months to two years after you stop using drugs or alcohol.

The symptoms involved in PAWS can be a barrier to recovery if you're not careful. In addition to being able to recognize them, it's important to know when to seek help.

Avoid Old Routines and Habits

It stands to reason that if you quit your drug of choice but continue with your same routine, hanging around the same people and places, and not making any changes in your circumstances, it will be much easier to slip back into your old behaviors and habits.

Some of the immediate changes you will need to make will be obvious—like not hanging around the people that you used with or obtained drugs from. After all, you can't hang around your drug dealer or old drinking buddies and expect to remain sober for very long.

You may also need to change your route to work or home in order to avoid any triggers, or people, places, or things that make you want to use drugs or drink again.

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Build Healthy Relationships

Now that you are sober, you may have discovered that some of your past relationships were not only unhealthy but downright toxic. It's not just your drinking buddies and drug dealers who can get you into trouble—sometimes those who are closest to you can contribute to a relapse.

For example, you may have developed a co-dependent relationship, or a family member, friend, or employer may have been enabling you without even knowing it.

Research shows that if you maintain these types of toxic relationships, your chances of relapsing are greater. To avoid relapse and remain sober, it's important to develop healthy relationships.

Get Support

If you find it difficult to make new, sober friends, try joining a support group. Spending more time with supportive loved ones and planning activities for the entire family can also help you develop a healthier lifestyle and avoid situations in which you would normally drink or use drugs.

A therapist can help you learn new coping skills, develop new thinking patterns, and address any co-occurring mental health conditions that may make recovery more difficult.

You may also experience what is commonly called sobriety fatigue, which refers to the overall exhaustion that may occur as a result of the emotional and physical stress of staying sober. So, it's extra helpful to have a support network available to you when you need it.

Develop a Structured Schedule

Having a chaotic or disorganized lifestyle can also hinder your recovery. It's important to develop a structured daily and weekly schedule and stick to it.

A structured routine will help you achieve other goals in your life, whether they are short-term (like being on time for work) or long-term (like going back to school and changing careers).

Staying sober is a high priority, but developing and pursuing other goals can help you maintain that sobriety.

Practice Healthy Living

Chronically misusing drugs and/or alcohol can take a major toll on your physical and emotional health, and now that you're in recovery, you'll want to prioritize self-care and ensure you have the fortitude to remain sober. Keys to a healthy lifestyle include:

• Exercising regularly
• Making time for recreational activities and hobbies
• Eating regular, well-balanced meals
• Getting ample, good-quality sleep
• Practicing relaxation strategies, like mindfulness meditation and yoga

Focus on Your Finances

People in recovery from a substance use disorder frequently have problems meeting work-related responsibilities, maintaining employment, and managing money. If you were active in your addiction for a period of time, you may have developed financial problems.

Financial troubles and problems finding and keeping employment are major triggers for relapse, but it is possible to take baby steps and get your finances in order. Just keep in mind that your improvements won't happen overnight.

Once you do return to work, it's important to create a budget and take steps to safeguard yourself as work stress can be a relapse trigger.

Stay Cool and Calm

Many people who misuse alcohol or drugs have trouble dealing with anger. If left unchecked, anger can have a negative impact on your health and your lasting sobriety.

For many people with a substance use disorder, it's simply a matter of never having learned the appropriate way to manage anger. Talk to your therapist, other healthcare provider, or sponsor about how to deal with your anger in ways that won't cause you to harm yourself or others or turn to alcohol or drugs.

Deal With Mistakes

Most people who make their way into recovery have left a lot of pain and suffering in their wake. Feeling guilty or ashamed of past behavior or actions during active addiction is natural and healthy.

Shame is having negative beliefs about yourself and your self-worth. Guilt is having negative feelings about your past behavior. People in recovery can experience a lot of shame simply for having become addicted in the first place.

Most who find recovery also find that they have emotionally damaged friends and loved ones and have many regrets about their past decisions.​ To avoid relapse and stay sober, it's important that you take the necessary steps to learn from your past mistakes and begin to live life more responsibly.

Find Balance

One common mistake for those who are new to alcohol and drug recovery is substituting a new compulsive behavior for their old one. People new to recovery can find themselves approaching their new diet, exercise program, job, and even participation in support groups with a compulsion that echoes addiction.

Although these new activities are healthy and productive, they can be a stumbling block to lasting recovery if they become a transfer addiction to fill the void left by the original addiction. The secret is to find a healthy balance.

Celebrate Milestones

If you’re involved in a 12-step program, you likely already know the importance of milestones. In these programs, it’s customary to receive plastic chips as you progress to the one-year mark, at which time you receive a bronze coin.

Acknowledging and celebrating the hard work of recovery is helpful for keeping you motivated and reminding you why you took this brave step toward sobriety in the first place. Just be sure that your rewards don't involve drugs or alcohol. Instead, focus on things, experiences, and activities that will support your new, healthy lifestyle.

What Is Sobriety, Anyway?

Strictly speaking, sobriety is the state of being sober—not being under the influence of alcohol or drugs. However, the word is often used in different ways in different contexts. Many 12-step programs suggest that sobriety means total abstinence, which means never using the substance again. Other definitions, however, focus on the process of recovery and coping habits that support health and wellness over the long term.

The Takeaway

Sobriety is a process, and setbacks are common. The best way forward for your recovery from alcohol or substance use is to incorporate a wide variety of strategies that will help foster success. Remember to care for yourself, seek supportive relationships, and consider seeking help from a therapist.