To Strengthen My Marriage, I Tried ReGain Online Therapy—Without My Partner

Throughout the past three years, Verywell Mind has tested ReGain's couples and relationship counseling services numerous times. In this review, we first discuss our findings from our most recent test of this company in 2024. Then, Helen Massy explains her experience testing ReGain in 2023.

Our Most Recent Testing

In the summer of 2024, we had a newlywed try ReGain's couples counseling services with her husband. This was their first-hand experience.

Why We Chose ReGain

My husband and I are newlyweds and we are in a long-distance relationship. We're always looking for ways to connect better and improve our communication. Because we're in a long-distance relationship, our therapy sessions would have to be online, so this was a great option for us, especially due to the flexibility. 

I prefer online therapy for the simple fact that I can physically be in a more safe and comforting space of my own, while still opening myself up emotionally in the way therapy requires.

I do have experience with online therapy with my own personal therapist; we are consistent in keeping our session dates the same, but the benefit of an online experience is that if any situation happens last-minute that prevents me from attending the session or if my therapist would like to go on vacation, we have more flexibility to alter our sessions. This gives me less anxiety about not showing up and plans changing. I don't zone out even though the sessions are online—I find a space dedicated to my sessions so I can better focus on the subject matter. 

Signing Up for ReGain

I had to provide ReGain with a credit card to put on file for appointments during the sign-up process. This process was very simple and straightforward: it took me 10 minutes to get everything settled and write my bio. I did fill out a questionnaire based on my preferences and my reasoning for beginning therapy—this briefly included my mental health history, family background, and relationship status, as well as a section for me to describe what I was looking for from these services. I was asked questions like: 

• What is your sexuality?
• What do you prefer your therapist to specialize in?
• Are you looking for therapy for yourself, someone else, or you and your spouse?
• What led to you looking for therapy?
• What's your financial status? 

After signing up, I was very quickly assigned a therapist in less than 12 hours. We had the option to choose her or to request someone different. It took about five minutes to schedule our first session as we needed to request a time later than the ones on the therapist’s calendar. I chose what kind of therapy I was interested in prior to making the appointment. Being able to choose did matter greatly—it's the difference between a voluntary experience versus a more forced experience.

I only say “fairly” because the process of requesting a time that is not shown on the calendar takes some extra time and effort, and you have to message and wait for a response from your therapist. 

I was able to schedule appointments according to my and my husband’s availability, which was helpful. We both work 9-5 so we are unavailable during the day for the most part, but our therapist was very willing to work with us to find a time that best suited us even if that time was out of her typical schedule. We could only choose video calls and texts as communication options, but I found that helpful—I would have no reason to not show my face, and my husband as well, so we felt these options best suited our needs. 

ReGain did also have an app, which was helpful when we had a scheduled session I forgot about. I was able to download the app and sign in in under five minutes and join the session promptly. This was extremely helpful, as I didn't lose out on valuable time I was paying for from these services. 

Our Therapy Sessions

Our first session was an intake session, and each session was an hour long. 

During the majority of the first session, we discussed our habits, concerns, excitements, and goals for our relationship with the therapist, so she had a better understanding of who we were as people and individually. We also talked about our family dynamics, our relationship dynamics, our financial backgrounds, and wounds and any other habits or behaviors that resonate with being married. 

Our experience was quite average.

We were willing to overlook this, as we understand therapists cannot genuinely be un-biased because they are also human beings. However, as we continued our sessions, we found that her bias and ignorance towards my husband’s culture and religion was causing her to infer that there were issues that aren't really present in our relationship at all. 

Being that I am in therapy myself, I had a good sense of when the therapist was making assumptions rather than making an educated observation. As we came to our final session my husband and I grew more concerned with her lack of ability to empathize and properly understand my husband, or at the very least ask some personal questions. Though we had no issues with her personally and she seemed to have a good instinct for some things, she had a bad instinct for others.

Her lack of effort to truly understand or even ask my husband about his cultural background and religion damaged our experience, as he did not feel comfortable enough to open up to her out of fear of being misunderstood, which is the opposite of what therapy should do. The reason we stuck with this therapist was because we were hoping with each session that she would prove that she could make at least one good observation as it pertained to our marriage and friendship. 

How We Felt About Our Therapist

Our first impression of the therapist was that she seemed slightly unkempt yet enthusiastic. She was very kind and had some good questions, but was very uneducated (or seemingly uneducated) on multi-cultural marriages. She explained to us that her technique would be to meet with us both, then meet separately, then meet together; however, this approach was never completed. For all four sessions we met together alongside the therapist, and there was no further mention of the other specified method. 

We were okay with how the sessions went despite her bias. She was very good at listening, but the majority of the advice she had for us felt like she was asking as opposed to making a statement based on her professional observations.

My own personal therapist and I have a great relationship and we have done some incredible work together on discussing emotions and behavioral patterns; we are constantly working towards better communication and identifying where some emotions stem from. However, with this couples therapist, it felt as if she was fishing for some issues to help us resolve but the issues she described did not relate to our situation by any means.

We also did not feel that she was as experienced a therapist as she had mentioned. It seemed as if she was a therapist that specialized in individual behaviors as opposed to couple dynamics. She did make sure to ask about our days in depth, which was comforting to us both; however, her niceties did not outweigh her lack of help. 

I felt like my husband and I led the conversations—because my husband and I talk so often we had better luck dealing with the situations and working to find solutions on our own, which isn't ideal when paying someone to be your therapist. 

I feel like her approach was not at all consistent. It felt lazy and there was no structure to the sessions—each one felt different. The therapist did give us homework; she encouraged us to have certain conversations, but when we attempted to tell her we had done so previously, she further pushed us to do it regardless. I think it would've been ideal if the homework was more productive and provided us with alternate ways to approach a situation, but this was not the case. 

By the last session, my husband wasn't enthused by how significantly biased the therapist had been, and I myself was upset that she did not provide us with any insightful practices or knowledge, as we were excited to learn something new about ourselves and our relationship dynamic. My husband and I do our best to remain open-minded, and we were looking forward to finding new ways to learn, to open ourselves up, and to be more empathetic, patient, and understanding. But we weren't at all moved by our therapist's approach to our relationship and overall felt that she was inexperienced. 

How We Felt About ReGain

ReGain does not accept insurance, so we paid $80 per session out-of-pocket (so, $400 for five sessions). 

I think the value of ReGain’s services was fair. Although our assigned therapist wasn't particularly to our liking, we still appreciate the convenience of the services and how easy the website is to navigate. Had we had a therapist we enjoyed, I wouldn't have a huge issue with this company. I think your mental health is important and worth heavily investing in, if you have the means to do so. 

Our assigned therapist wasn't ideal, and I didn't see an available option to alter my therapist until around my second session; by then, it was pointless (given the duration of this test).  I would rate this as a very fair, okay-quality service provided based on the price. But not great. 

The services themselves were not great, in my experience; however, if I had a better therapist match, this would be an ideal situation, because you can communicate with ease and the sessions are an hour long. I would not suggest this to anyone who wants to do sessions on weekends, as our therapist did not have availability for then. Anyone with basic tech skills could navigate through this website with ease. 

Helen's 2023 Testing

In 2023, we asked Helen to try ReGain's relationship counseling on her own, without her partner. These are her personal insights.

Why I Chose ReGain

Although I have a very solid relationship with my husband, we have busy, challenging lives and a young family, and it can be hard to juggle it all and still make sure we have time for each other. Sometimes I worry that I'm taking on too much or cannot give as much of myself as I want to my husband and children. I don't want to let any problems creep up in our relationship. So I thought I'd check in with a relationship counselor to discuss my concerns.

Due to our hectic lifestyle, finding a moment for an appointment can be a challenge. Therefore I decided to try ReGain, as it's an online therapy service offering relationship counseling to individuals and couples. The company was founded in 2016 as a sister site to BetterHelp, which is why their websites, pricing, and apps look so similar, though ReGain's 12,000 therapists specialize in various relationship issues, including communication problems, infidelity, or intimacy issues. 

I signed up for six weeks of online therapy with ReGain to see if it would help me feel more confident in my relationship. And while I think ReGain might be a good option for relationship therapy if you sign up with your partner (100 users we surveyed and some other people on our team that tried the company said as much), I don't recommend signing up for individual relationship therapy. Read on to find out why.

How I Signed Up

The homepage for ReGain is pretty simple. It doesn't describe much about the service or how it works—just that you can get professional relationship therapy from a licensed therapist. Then there is a large "Get Started" button in the middle of the screen. Across the top right of the page, you can see links to sections on advice, FAQs, reviews, contact, and login. To sign up, you simply click that central "Get Started" button.

I found the sign-up process for ReGain was straightforward and involved answering a series of questions. Once you click through to sign up, you are prompted to provide information about your gender, age, sexual orientation (with the option to skip this question), relationship status (including many options, such as “polyamorous” or “it's complicated”), whether you live with your partner, if there is any domestic violence in the relationship, if you've been to therapy before, your motivation for seeking therapy, your expectations from the therapist, and if you'd prefer to work with a male or female therapist. 

It also asks you whether you want to invite your partner to take part in the therapy, whether you want to do therapy alone, or—if you're unsure—whether you want to decide to invite them at a later time.

All in all, the sign-up questionnaire is a quick and basic questionnaire; it doesn't go too in depth and only takes a few minutes to complete. 

How Much ReGain Costs

Once I'd completed the questionnaire, I was told my price for therapy would be $70 per week, billed as a monthly subscription service. This is about average for ReGain, which in its FAQ states that subscription prices range from $65 to $90 per week, depending on where you live, your therapy needs, and therapist availability. This is the same price whether you sign up alone (as I did) or with your partner.

My ReGain subscription included a weekly live session and chat messaging anytime. I could also access its ”groupinars” (group webinars). You have to register for these separately, if they interest you, and there are quite a few covering different topics pertinent to relationships available to join every week. Topics include understanding a highly sensitive person, self-care, emotional and behavioral tips for healthy living, and building blocks of happiness, to name a few. 

Scheduling My Therapy Sessions

Once you are matched with a therapist, you get instant access to your online portal. You just click "login" on the homepage and enter your email and password. Or if signing in from a mobile device, you can set a four-digit pin to access the online portal even more quickly. After logging into the platform, you can easily view your therapist's availability and the available webinars. 

The first therapist it connected me with had a fairly limited profile and description. It didn't tell me a lot about her aside from her qualifications, and it didn't give me any insight into her specialties or therapy style. But I decided to be open-minded and schedule at least one session with this therapist to see if she would be a good match for me. 

I could quickly schedule a live session, and numerous available time slots were spread out over the coming days, providing plenty of options. I also got immediate access to the asynchronous chat room where you can message your therapist whenever you want. I did send my therapist a message, but the reply was short and said we could discuss everything in the live session scheduled. I didn't find her answers on the live chat very engaging, and it put me off using it.

I chose to schedule a video call for our first session as I find it easier to speak to people face to face. You get lots of reminders from ReGain about your upcoming session via email and text. I found this helpful as it meant there was no way I could miss the appointment. Before having a video call you can do a test to ensure all your tech is working and compatible with the platform. This was simple to do through the help section of the online portal, and my video test was fine. 

How My Therapy Sessions Went

On joining the live video session, the quality was great, with a very clear sound and picture. The therapist was very upfront with me at the start of the session, clearly setting out how she works and what she does and does not do. It was quite a blunt introduction, which felt a bit like a telling-off before we got started, but I did appreciate her honesty and transparency.

The session went OK, but I found it quite stilted. I'm not a natural talker in a therapy environment, and she very much left the conversation to me with little prompting.

After the session, there was no follow-up on the chat, and no advice that I could take away and put into action. But I thought I'd persist and give it another go, so I booked a second video session the following week.

This time the technology didn't work, which seemed to be a problem with the platform. However, the therapist quickly switched the video to a phone call so that I didn't miss out. Sadly, this made the conversation even more stilted. It really didn't flow, it was hard to judge when either person was going to speak, and I just didn't feel a connection to talk with her. At this point I realized this wasn't the therapist for me, and I wasn't feeling any therapeutic support from our sessions. I decided to switch therapists.

Switching Therapists at ReGain

Switching therapists was easy within the online portal. In the therapy section of the portal, you can see your therapist bio on the left-hand side. Under here is a button to change therapists. In a few simple clicks, the switch is made, and ReGain states it will match you with a new therapist within 24 hours.

It did, it was just less than 24 hours, but the new therapist only had availability on weekends (which I can't do). So, I had to switch again. This time it took another 24 hours, maybe a little longer, and I was matched with a third therapist. 

I felt positive that this person might be a better fit for me, but there were no slots available to schedule a session. When this happens, ReGain says to message the therapist directly to discuss session times, which I did. The therapist quickly replied, stating she typically doesn't have time slots officially open unless someone really needs it. This made me instantly question myself. Did I really need it? Does that mean it's only for people who need intensive therapy right away? But we agreed on a time that suited both of us to have a video call. 

Instead, the conversation over chat only centered around making the appointment. All the tech worked fine this time when logging onto the video session, and the picture and sound were very clear.

However, this session was also unsuccessful. 

The therapist didn't seem engaged at all. She said she was tired and had been up late the night before. Then when I was talking, she cut me off to ask why I was signed up with ReGain and not BetterHelp. She was very focused that ReGain should be couples counseling only.

This forced me to explain that the company says it offers both individual and couples relationship counseling on its website and during sign-off, but she seemed put out that my husband hadn't joined too. By this point, I felt demoralized and that she really didn't want to listen to me. This, in turn, made me feel like I couldn't open up any further.

So after trying three therapists and different session formats at the end of the session, I canceled my membership. 

Pros & Cons

Unfortunately, I didn't have a positive experience with ReGain. The therapists weren't engaging, they didn't seem interested, and I was made to feel that I shouldn't be having individual relationship therapy. But the service has a lot of positive reviews—including from 105 users we surveyed (more on that below)—so I'm left wondering if my experience is an outlier because I signed up without my partner. I think this company is more tailored to couples attending the sessions together. Here are my pros and cons.

Final Thoughts

I've had online therapy before and had a very positive experience. Unfortunately, my experience with ReGain wasn't great. Availability was limited, the chat room wasn't responsive, and I was made to feel as if I shouldn't have sought individual relationship therapy. 

However, my experience isn't the same as others because we surveyed 105 current and past ReGain users and most of them had very good experiences; though unlike me, most signed up for couples therapy with their partner—which seems to explain the big difference in experience we had.

We also asked three other people—with their partners—to test the company and they had much better experiences. For example, we found that ReGain seemed like a great option for new parents that were struggling to navigate conflicts surrounding different parenting philosophies or feeling like parenthood was affecting their emotional intimacy with their partner.

So given this, it seems clear to me that despite advertising that it offers individual and couples relationship therapy, ReGain is in fact more focused on couples therapy—and that is what its therapists specialize in. So if you're looking to work on your relationship with your partner or spouse, I think you'll probably have a better experience than I did.