Anxiety Social Anxiety Disorder Living With How to Stop Negative Thoughts Getting off the Stinkin' Thinkin' Highway By Arlin Cuncic, MA Updated on June 18, 2024 Medically reviewed Verywell Mind articles are reviewed by board-certified physicians and mental healthcare professionals. Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Learn more. by Amy Morin, LCSW Fact checked Verywell Mind content is rigorously reviewed by a team of qualified and experienced fact checkers. Fact checkers review articles for factual accuracy, relevance, and timeliness. We rely on the most current and reputable sources, which are cited in the text and listed at the bottom of each article. Content is fact checked after it has been edited and before publication. Learn more. by Karen Cilli Print Maskot / Getty Images Table of Contents View All Table of Contents Using Mindfulness Identify Your Negative Thoughts Replace Negative Thoughts Avoid Thought-Stopping Techniques Practice Coping With Criticism Use a Diary to Track Negative Thoughts Frequently Asked Questions What are negative thoughts? What are negative thoughts called by psychologists? Why do I have negative thoughts? Trending Videos Close this video player Negative thoughts can contribute to problems such as social anxiety, depression, stress, and low self-esteem. The key to changing your negative thoughts is to understand how you think now (and the problems that result), then use strategies to change these thoughts or make them have less of an effect. "Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all linked, so our thoughts impact how we feel and act. So, although we all have unhelpful thoughts from time to time, it’s important to know what to do when they appear so we don’t let them change the course of our day," explains Rachel Goldman, PhD, a psychologist and clinical assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine. Therapy can often be helpful for changing negative thoughts, but you can also learn how to change your thought patterns on your own. This article discusses some of the steps you can take to change your negative thoughts. Some of the ways that you can get rid of negative thoughts include: Using mindfulness to build self-awareness Identifying negative thoughts Replacing negative thoughts with more realistic, positive ones Practicing acceptance rather than trying to avoid or deny negative thoughts Learning to cope with feedback and criticism Using a diary to track your thoughts Combat Negative Thoughts With Mindfulness Mindfulness has its roots in meditation. It is the practice of detaching yourself from your thoughts and emotions and viewing them as an outside observer. Practicing mindfulness can help you become more conscious of your thoughts and build greater self-awareness. Mindfulness sets out to change your relationship with your thoughts. Try viewing your thoughts and feelings as objects floating past you that you can stop and observe or let pass you by. They don't control you. Rachel Goldman, PhD Become aware of how your thoughts are impacting your emotions and behaviors. Observe your thoughts. Ask yourself if this thought is helpful? What purpose is the thought serving you? How does the thought make you feel? — Rachel Goldman, PhD The objective of mindfulness is to gain control of your emotional reactions to situations by allowing the thinking part of your brain to take over. It's been theorized that the practice of mindfulness may facilitate the ability to use thoughts more adaptively. One study found that people who engaged in a mindfulness practice experienced fewer negative thoughts after exposure to negative imagery, suggesting that mindfulness may lessen the frequency and impact of negative thinking. Mindfulness Meditation for Anxiety Identify Your Negative Thoughts As you observe your thoughts, work on identifying and labeling cognitive distortions and negativity. For example, if you tend to view yourself as a complete success or failure in every situation, then you are engaging in "black-and-white" thinking. Other negative thinking patterns include: Jumping to conclusions: This distortion involves making assumptions about what others are thinking or making negative assumptions about how events will turn out as if you had a "crystal ball." Catastrophizing: This pattern of negative thinking is characterized by always assuming that the worst possible outcome will happen without considering more likely and realistic possibilities. Overgeneralization: This pattern is marked by a tendency to apply what happened in one experience to all future experiences. This can make negative experiences seem unavoidable and contribute to feelings of anxiety. Labeling: When people label themselves in a negative way, it affects how they feel about themselves in different contexts. Someone who labels themselves as "bad at math," for example, will often feel negative about activities that involve that skill. "Should" statements: Thinking marked by "should" statements contribute to a negative perspective by only thinking in terms of what you "ought" to be doing. Such statements are often unrealistic and cause people to feel defeated and pessimistic about their ability to succeed. Emotional reasoning: This involves assuming that something is true based on your emotional response to it. For example, if you are feeling nervous, emotional reasoning would lead you to conclude that you must be in danger. This can escalate negative feelings and increase anxiety. Personalization and blame: This thought pattern involves taking things personally, even when they are not personal. It often leads people to blame themselves for things they have no control over. Unhelpful thinking patterns differ in subtle ways. But they all involve distortions of reality and irrational ways of looking at situations and people. Goldman suggests that this step is all about identifying and labeling negative thoughts. Now that you have observed the thought, you can identify it as an unhelpful thought (perhaps we've even identified it as an all-or-nothing thought, or another type of cognitive distortion). Just observe it and label it. — RACHEL GOLDMAN, PHD She also suggests pausing to accept the thought for what it is. Remind yourself that it's just a thought and not a fact. Recap There are many different types of cognitive distortions that contribute to negative thinking. Learning more about these distortions and remembering that thoughts are not facts may help lessen the power of these negative thinking patterns. Are You a Pessimist? Take the Quiz Try our fast and free test to find out if you are more of an optimist, pessimist, or somewhere in between. Replace Negative Thoughts One of the basic parts of a treatment plan involving cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is cognitive restructuring. This process helps you to identify and change negative thoughts into more helpful and adaptive responses. Whether done in therapy or on your own, cognitive restructuring involves a step-by-step process whereby negative thoughts are identified, evaluated for accuracy, and then replaced. Goldman suggests examining the evidence that either supports or contradicts the thought. Doing this can help you challenge negative thinking and explore alternatives that are more helpful and realistic. Although it is difficult to think with this new style at first, over time and with practice, positive and rational thoughts will come more naturally. Cognitive restructuring can help you challenge your thoughts by taking you through steps including: Ask yourself if the thought is realistic.Think of what happened in the past in similar situations and evaluate if your thoughts are on course with what took place.Actively challenge the thought and look for alternative explanations.Think of what you'd gain versus what you'd lose by continuing to believe the thought.Recognize if your thought is actually a result of a cognitive distortion, such as catastrophizing.Consider what you'd tell a friend having the same thought. Johns Hopkins Medicine suggests trying to focus on the positive to help combat the negative thought patterns associated with depression. Sometimes we are overly focused on negative things in life and overlooking the abundance of blessings that we have. You can also look for the silver lining so to speak. Ask yourself, will anything good come out of my current situation? However, Goldman recommends not replacing negative thoughts with overly positive ones. If the replacement thoughts are not realistic, they won't be helpful. Rachel Goldman, PhD You don't want to set yourself up for failure by replacing the thought with something that may not be realistic. A helpful technique could be to ask yourself what would you say to a friend in this situation. — Rachel Goldman, PhD Goldman suggests that if you find yourself thinking thoughts like "I am going to fail," you shouldn't replace it with something like "I know I am going to succeed." "You instead would want to replace it with something more neutral, which is also showing some self-compassion, like 'I don't know if I am going to be able to do it, but I am going to try my best,'" she suggests. One study found that a single cognitive restructuring intervention helped people reduce negative thoughts and biases that play a role in contributing to anxiety. Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares an effective way to help you curb negative thinking. Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Avoid Thought-Stopping Techniques Thought-stopping is the opposite of mindfulness. It is the act of being on the lookout for negative thoughts and insisting that they be eliminated. The problem with thought-stopping is that the more you try to stop your negative thoughts, the more they will surface. This is known as thought rebounding. Experts believe that the thought rebounding that takes place after trying to stop negative thoughts is much more damaging. Similar to changing lifestyle habits, when you want to stop doing something, you may find yourself wanting to do it even more. Instead, psychologists generally recommend finding ways to deal with negative thoughts more directly. Mindfulness is preferable because you are not fighting your thoughts. Instead, you give less weight and value to your thoughts and this reduces the impact they have on you. Thought stopping might seem to help in the short term, but over time, it leads to more anxiety. Practice Coping With Criticism In addition to cognitive restructuring, another aspect of CBT that is sometimes helpful for those with social anxiety involves something known as the "assertive defense of the self." Since it is possible that some of the time, people will actually be critical and judgmental toward you, it is important that you are able to cope with rejection and criticism. This process is usually conducted in therapy with a pretend conversation between you and your therapist to build your assertiveness skills and develop healthy responses to criticism. These skills are then transferred to the real world through homework assignments. For example, if faced with criticism in real life, having a set of assertive responses prepared will help you deal with these potentially anxiety-provoking situations. What's more, real-life encounters are welcome as a chance to put into practice this exercise, according to this method. Some research suggests that facing potential "social mishaps" that contribute to anxiety and negative thinking can also be helpful. The goal of improving your ability to handle criticism and rejection is to help increase your tolerance of the distress these things may cause, which may combat your automatic negative thoughts. How Can I Be More Assertive When I Have Social Anxiety? Use a Diary to Track Negative Thoughts Thought diaries, also called thought records, can be used as part of any process to change negative thinking. Thought diaries help you identify negative thinking styles and gain a better understanding of how your thoughts (and not the situations you are in) cause your emotional reactions. Most CBT treatment plans will involve the use of a thought diary as part of regular homework assignments. For example, a thought diary entry might break down the thought process of a person on a date, and the emotional and physical reactions that result from negative thinking patterns. By the end of the thought analysis, you can replace irrational thoughts about rejection with more helpful and positive ways of thinking. Frequently Asked Questions What are negative thoughts? Everyone has negative thoughts sometimes. and include cynical or pessimistic beliefs you might have about yourself, other people, situations, or the world. They can affect your mood and behavior, and can be present in certain mental health conditions.Examples of negative thoughts include:"I'll never be good enough" "They must think I'm stupid for saying that" "That situation is destined to turn out badly" "I will never find a good partner" What are negative thoughts called by psychologists? Negative thoughts are sometimes referred to as cognitive distortions. These are faulty thinking patterns that can lead to negativity and play a role in causing problems such as poor self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Why do I have negative thoughts? Negative thoughts are quite common, and everyone does it from time to time. However, there can be many underlying variables that make it worse.Temperament: You may have been born with what is known as a "difficult temperament." This means you are more sensitive, feel things more strongly, and are prone to negative mood states.Survival Skill: It's also possible that evolutionarily speaking, negative thinking was more conducive to the survival of our species. Being extra cautious, skeptical, and analytical may help you manage threats in your environment.Learning from others: According to social learning theory, we learn behaviors from the people around us. If you were raised by a parent who had a negative thinking style, you may have learned to think that way too.Cognitive distortions: Negative thoughts could occur as a result of distorted and unrealistic thinking patterns. For example: You may have more negative thoughts because you are more strongly influenced by negative experiences than the positive ones, or have a negativity bias.Mental health issues: They can also be symptoms of mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety. Takeaways If you struggle with negative thought patterns and it's disrupting your well-being, consider trying some strategies on your own to improve your thought life. Sometimes it may be necessary to talk to a mental health professional. While it can be tough to share the thoughts you have with someone, therapists can assess your negative thinking patterns and help you create a healthier inner dialogue. Goldman likes to remind her clients that the process of changing negative thoughts isn't a quick fix. "This isn't easy and it takes time, but with practice, it gets easier and you can create new automatic thoughts that work for you," she explains. Positive Thinking Apps 12 Sources Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Brown AP, Marquis A, Guiffrida DA. 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J Psychosom Res. 2016;91:89-101. doi:10.1016/j.jpsychores.2016.11.004 By Arlin Cuncic, MA Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of The Anxiety Workbook and founder of the website About Social Anxiety. She has a Master's degree in clinical psychology. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Helpful Report an Error Other Submit