'Woke' textbooks, legalizing weed and Biden's inflation failures: Your favorite columns

It's Saturday and we all know what that means. It's time to turn our newsletter over to the top premium columns we posted this week. 

These are columns our subscribers loved or that people subscribed specifically to read. Not a subscriber? Do not worry. You can join the cool kid's table by subscribing today. Already a subscriber? You are the best and may proceed. 

— USA TODAY Opinion editors

I'm going to Florida so Gov. Ron DeSantis can keep my kids safe from 'woke' math textbooks

By Rex Huppke

Like most reasonable Americans, I’m considering moving to Florida to keep my children safe from math.

Ron DeSantis, governor of the Sunshine (unless it illuminates something we don’t want people to see) State, has taken a bold stand against fiendish liberal attempts to use math textbooks to transform young American students into woke and genderless soy children.

The Florida Department of Education rejected more than 50 math textbooks because they included nation-destroying concepts like “Critical Race Theory” and “Social Emotional Learning,” the department announced Friday. The department’s statement carried the headline: “Florida Rejects Publishers' Attempts to Indoctrinate Students.” READ MORE 

I went to an anti-abortion event and found confusing messages

 By Connie Schultz 

As a columnist, it is not uncommon to receive event invitations from people who hold values they know to be in direct opposition to your own. An attempt to goad, perhaps, as if to say: Attend if you dare.  

In my experience, this outreach comes most frequently from groups committed to denying women access to legal and safe abortions. Sometimes, their preprinted postcards fill USPS bins deposited on the front of porch of our home with handwritten postscripts from self-declared Christians who hope for our eternal damnation in the bowels of hell. In their world, God is a bully. 

This past week, I heard from Mark Harrington, founder of Created Equal, an anti-abortion group headquartered in Columbus, Ohio. This is a small but vocal group of extremists who oppose abortion even in cases of rape or incest, or when the woman’s life is threatened. For context, as The New York Times reported in 2019, an NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll found that "strong majorities supported the rape and incest exception, including more than 30 percent of those who describe themselves as pro-life." READ MORE

Biden has been wrong repeatedly about inflation

By James S. Robbins

Is inflation on the downslide? Some claimed that the dire inflation numbers last week came with a ray of hope.

Bank of America analysts said inflation has “likely peaked.” Reuters also reported that inflation has likely peaked. Forbes tells us that experts believe inflation has topped out, and that consumer inflation likely peaked in March. Investor’s Business Daily and MarketWatch also say we are “likely” at the summit.

That is good news, if true. But we have heard it before. READ MORE

Texans must love Gov. Greg Abbott’s taxpayer-funded kindness to migrants 

By Rex Huppke

I have to say, it’s really nice of Texas Gov. Greg Abbott to turn to migrants who recently entered the country seeking asylum and ask if taxpayers in his state can offer them a free, all-expenses-paid bus ride to Washington, DC.

You’re probably asking, “Wait a minute, I thought Abbott was one of those right-wing politicos who never misses a chance to pull some political stunt that dehumanizes immigrants but still backfires spectacularly. Why would he be generously offering state money to give them nice rides somewhere?”

I can’t explain it. All I know is Texans are paying for chartered buses that, according to news reports, have reclining seats, free movies, free water and baby food, and stop for free meals at McDonald’s. READ MORE

Can Congress bag a cannabis bill? Legalization hopes may be too high.

By Steven Porter 

If you're old enough to buy booze, you could walk into a dispensary today in 18 states and buy marijuana products for recreational use. In 37 states, you could get permission to buy the drug for medicinal purposes. No need for a back-alley transaction. You could make your purchase in broad daylight in one of thousands of pot shops now operating under state rules to sell marijuana legally.

Yet, no matter which state you're in, you would still be committing a federal crime.

The brow-furrowing disconnect between federal prohibition and the patchwork of marijuana legalization rules at the state level has been an especially hot potato in the decade since Colorado and Washington became the first states to legalize weed for recreational use. READ MORE