internet-goblin reblogged
it only just now dawned on me that I’ll very likely learn who won the election from those Supernatural homosexuals. this is how we live now.
internet-goblin reblogged
myslíte, že mě prokleje když kliknu na křížek?
Nažhavení mocní čarodějové v tvém okolí chtějí vyřešit tvoje osobní a párové problémy.
internet-goblin reblogged
It's always "omg how have you not grown up with [insert incredibly popular AMERICAN media]" maybe because I didn't fucking understand english at that time like I might not have known what Sesame Street was but have you ever seen Kouzelá školka? Huh? Cvrček55 ring any bells? No? Exactly. Piss off
To whomever it might concern, know that I have not had any contact with Spongebob Squarepants until I was like 12 and on a summer camp, where another dude showed me his Spongebob key decoration. And then he lied to me that the figure was actually a mummy. And I believed him, because how else could have I known??
I grew up on four TV channels and the absolute peak that is Pat a Mat, Racochejl, Asterix and Bolek i Lolek.
The first american cartoon I was exposed to was when I was in second grade and some kid figured out how to watch fucking HAPPY TREE FRIENDS on the school computer.
BOY DO I WONDER WHAT THE SOLUTION TO THE RACOON PROBLEM COULD BE!
Please enlighten me mr Sausage-maker, how doth thee plan to rid High Germany of such a plague of vermin! Hast thou mayhaps taken inspiration in the great piper of the renowned Hameln?
I certainly hope such solution isn’t awfully stereotypical for Germany as a land so often depicted as a home of creative sausage-makers that turne everything into sausages.
internet-goblin reblogged
Your gender is now the first randomized wikipedia article you get. No rerolls.
Love seeing what different things people get!
internet-goblin reblogged
There is this guy called Jonathan Young, an extremely talented musician who has among other things made a series of songs about BG3 companions. He made them last year with about a month between each song featuring one of the main six companions.
EXCEPT ONE OF THEM. And you already know which one it is. Because it’s always that one.
Well, Jonathan finally remedied that and finally released the final song (which is straight fire). But you can instantly see what my beef is here.
Of fucking course. At this point I am not even mad, I just think it’s hilarious that he has done something so on brand for the treatment of Wyll by Larian. Poor Wyll can’t catch a break.
Also here’s a link to the song.
ABSOLUTE WYLLCTORY!!!
internet-goblin reblogged
internet-goblin reblogged
This post is soooo real and the decent dlc was a mistake on biowares part because what do you MEAN the dwarves use the fossilized blood of their creator-gods to write their histories with and. What do you MEAN there's a lost culture/religious sect of dwarves in the deep roads so old and isolated that they don't even speak the same language, and have dedicated their lives to the protection of said creator-gods.
And they just never bring this shit up again.
I feel like this happens a lot with dwarves in fantasy, ever since Tolkien. Tons of great lore, enjoyable characters and dense worldbuilding…
…only to have it all pushed aside in favor of elves and humans being in the main focus. The waste of potential bugs me to no end.
Any idiot can eat chicken, right? Especially when it's cut into small blocks and cooked into a nice chicken and vegetable mix. Right?
Well I am the idiot that can't. I had a really fun interaction today. I order my lunch, I bring it to the table at my workplace, I take TWO bites and then it starts.
My neck is blocked. My oesophagus is blocked. I try to push it down with a drink, but the drink pushes back. It's stuck there. Naturally, I behave like everything's normal. I ask around where is our office emergency room (there is none), but fortunately there are doctors on the compound randomly for a health conference. They look at me and go "What are you doing here, dude? Call a fucking ambulance!"
So I call a fucking ambulance, or rather, my two stressed coworkers do. I panic a bit, puke on the canteen floor a bit, over all a grand old time. People on the phone tell us what to do until the ambulance arrives and I manage to get some of the chicken actually out. But not enough. Just enough to keep me calm and collected.
The ambulance guys have a laugh, make sure I am not dying and then drive me to the hospital. I tell my coworkers to have the rest of my lunch packed, that I'm coming back for it. They don't do it, leaving me mildly annoyed that I can no longer consume food I paid 120 CZK for and that is actively trying to kill me.
Hospital is great. First they take me to a doctor that checks that I can actually breathe by sticking a long tube up my nose and twiddling around with it. After that, I am to take an injection to loosen my muscles and hopefully allow the chicken to pass. HOWEVER I am required to take the injection in my ass, right in front of two cute medical students. Amazing.
Then, screening time. I got lost along the way. Twice. Finally I find the room and there starts the merry-go-round of drinking bitter fluid for screening, looking at my insides through a magic radiation machine and puking the liquid back out. They conclude that my stomach is plugged and needs to be either pushed inside or pulled out.
Alright. I head back. I get lost again and need three guys to show me the way. First one looks like a Native American warrior, second like buff Napoleon Dynamite and third like divorced Rusty Cage. Back in the waiting room. I puke twice on the waiting room floor. There's a little girl there with her mom. The girl is not scared, more interested in what I'm doing. I use my condition to teach her a lesson.
CHEW YOUR FUCKING FOOD, KIDS
Finally I am escorted by the fake Rusty Cage to have and endoscopy. I get drugged, tied to a table and then have a tube stuck down my neck. It is there where I change my opinion about girls that manage to swallow those extralong dildos, because how the fuck do you do that?
Anyways, the pesky chicken is pulled out, I got told to not drive, almost fall asleep on the way home and pull together just enough energy to buy candy for the two heroines that saved me in the canteen.
Fun day over all. 2/10 - the ambulance guy was a great banter.
internet-goblin reblogged
today i learned that czechoslovakias national anthem was the czech anthem then the slovak anthem put together as one song
then when czechoslovakia split up they just split up the song in two too
hmmm
who will do a remix?
There are too many good jokes to be had with a national anthem called "Where is my home" for that. No offence to Nad Tatrou Sa Blýská.
kde je můj blesk nad tatrou
There actually is a joke about the anthems! Goes something like this:
Q: What would happen if an atom bomb would fall on Slovakia?
A: The countries would switch anthems. Slovaks would sing "Where is my home?" and Czechs "There's lightning over Tatra mountains."
internet-goblin reblogged
it has to be said i <3 characters who are victims of circumstances they created for themselves. especially when the bed they made for themselves to lie in is so horribly cruel and punishing that it interrogates the idea that anyone can be truly said to "deserve" anything at all.
it's hard not to feel sympathy for the devil when he's exiled from heaven, after all
I love the opposite energy of these cases. Where the circumstances are not cruel, but ridiculous. Where every attempt to weasel out of a situation puts the character into even more of a situation. The way out is simple, but even so remains untaken, and so our protagonist fucks themselves over more and more, piling on more and more ridiculous lies until the payback comes.
internet-goblin reblogged
How the hell I get away from the čumblr? I can't understand literally a thing Czechs are saying it's so confusing 😭😭
JEDNA Z NÁS! JEDNA Z NÁS! JEDNA Z NÁS!
There is this guy called Jonathan Young, an extremely talented musician who has among other things made a series of songs about BG3 companions. He made them last year with about a month between each song featuring one of the main six companions.
EXCEPT ONE OF THEM. And you already know which one it is. Because it’s always that one.
Well, Jonathan finally remedied that and finally released the final song (which is straight fire). But you can instantly see what my beef is here.
Of fucking course. At this point I am not even mad, I just think it’s hilarious that he has done something so on brand for the treatment of Wyll by Larian. Poor Wyll can’t catch a break.
Also here’s a link to the song.
internet-goblin reblogged
This Diva
I thought that was Miquella Elden Ring and honestly, the list of crimes still works.
internet-goblin reblogged
internet-goblin reblogged
Anonymous asked:
can you draw something for me to masturbate to
sure
good luck!
the universe by sengai gibon (1750–1837)
No way this took them 87 years to paint