In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development

This was interesting and devastatingly sad at the same time. I have been in an abusive relationship for over 20 years. I jumped straight into marriage at 17. I wasn't pregnant I was just raised thinking that is all girls are good for. I had an eye opener awhile back and realized I have been abused my entire life. I have been doing everything possible to learn why this happens to so many women. I want to help myself heal and hopefully save others from the same fate. I have been reading every book possible to learn how to help fix this problem in our society. I think too many people are blind to the covert abuse women of all backgrounds endure on a daily basis. I was hoping this book would help me understand what contributes to this horrific abuse. It was an interesting read but did not particularly help me. I do find it incredibly sad that earlier studies were only done on boys and girls were considered defective. Here are some of the quotes from the book that did speak to me: - "Self-development is a higher duty than self-sacrifice." Pg. 129 - "the concept of rights changes women's conceptions of self, allowing them to see themselves as stronger and to consider directly their own needs. When assertion no longer seems dangerous, the concept of relationships changes from a bond of continuing dependence to a dynamic of interdependence. Then the notion of care expands from the paralyzing injunction not to hurt others to an injunction to act responsively toward self and others and thus to sustain connection. Thus changes in women's rights change women's moral judgments, seasoning mercy with justice by enabling women to consider it moral to care not only for others but for themselves." Pg. 149

Originally published in 1982, this book was in its 33rd printing when it was reissued in 1993. It describes the developmental differences between men and women and what that means. Harvard professor Carol Gilligan explains that male development has typically focused on separation, individuation, logic, and hierarchy. Female development, on the other hand, has emphasized attachment, relationship, connection, and communication. I had several "ahas!" while reading this book for the first time in 2003. While I've always discounted some of Sigmund Freud's work, it had never occurred to me that much of traditional psychological theory, including the work of Jean Piaget, Erik Erickson, and Lawrence Kohlberg, has also been based on observations of men, then applied to women. As a result of comparisons to male norms that don't fit their own experience, women have often felt discounted and inferior, rather than simply different. It made sense to me that these comparisons and significant developmental differences often result in women feeling selfish and guilty when focusing on their own needs, rather than those of others. It also fit my experience that men and women tend to respond differently to attachment and separation issues. According to Gilligan, men see danger more often in intimacy than in achievement, while women sense more danger in impersonal and competitive situations. Gilligan's observations have generated quite a bit of controversy over the years (as indicated by some of the previous reviews on this list!), but ring true for many women (including me), and have been used as a stepping stone for the work of many later authors.

I was given every Freud text printed by WW Norton in college to read throughout my studies. Sitting in class I was alternately amazed by Freud's insights and thoroughly irritated by the defects of his analysis of female development. His theories seemed inconsistent, even containing contradictions, especially regarding the growth of girls into womanhood. It was extremely difficult to refute parts of his theory without denying the truth of how he spoke to boy's development, since his system of theory is all-encompassing and hermetic, and "It's rational precisely because its based on irrational subconscious thought" etc etc etc. Suprisingly, Carol Gilligan, adds to the main body of psychological theory, counterposing slightly but mainly filling in grey areas, rather than directly opposing it. I was suprised by this because I had avoided Gilligan due to Hoff Sommers criticism, among others, which had led me to believe Gilligan's work was more ideological than scientific. Gilligan has suprising insights into the the critical age of adolesence for girls, and the postulation of a parallel understanding of morality is still as relevant now as it was when first written. The form of morality she outlines fleshes out women's development as a fully realized system that understands the human condition full of falliabilities, rather than shrill repressive/mothering feminism I feared. As a bonus to readers wary of ranting, Gilligan is fairly focused on female development as opposed to social critique. Be aware, though, that her style does emulate Freud in that the writing is focused on specific examples to show broad conclusions, as opposed to vast statistical analysis.Highly recommended.

Most of this book struck me as profound, even wise. Gilligan's thesis that men develop their independence before women and that women are more attune to their relationships (and hence develop a sense of self much later than men) makes a lot of sense to me. It rings true for many of the women and men I know. One very big critique though. Many have hailed this as a modern masterpiece, which in most respects it is. But I was struck by the tiny samples on which Gilligan builds her theories. In most cases she only sampled a couple dozen people, a paltry number by any standard for a book that professes to inform readers about the differences between men and women. Other than that though, I loved this book and I highly recommend it. I also recommend Howard Gardner's Extraordinary Minds.

Any woman who wonders why her childhood dreams and ambitions changed so radically at puberty should read this book. Ms. Gilligan has found a disturbing thread of truth running through all the lives of the girls included in her study. For those of us heartily tired of other people telling us who and what we are, it is refreshing and insightful to find someone who is willing, instead, to listen.

Carol Gilligan's work has the great virtue of asking the basic question - is Revealed Wisdom about ethical decision making bias free? She demonstrates that it is not. Interestingly, Stephen Covey agrees with her, something which has been overlooked by other reviewers of this book. Her final summation is that placing relationships to the larger human community over deontological abstractions about justice constitutes a higher level of ethical decision making. The book has garnered much attention as a female challenge to male constructions of ethical decision making. This is simplistic. Gilligan does indeed point out that, as Kihlberg postulated, women may be more likely than men to make ethical decisions based on responsibilites to others rather than on abstractions. She questions the validity of Kohlberg's conclusion that this is a lower level of ethical reasoning, and she questions this not on the basis of gender but on the basis of logic and ethics. (Kohlberg, by the way, never explains why he believes that justice as abstraction represents a higher level of ethical decision making than justice in context of community.) There are many cultures which hold that the highest level of ethical decision making incorporates responsibility to others. Unfortunately, neither Kohlberg nor Gilligan is an anthropologist -- nor are they ethicists. They are both psychologists and thus limited in their framework. This is not a gender issue; this is a survival issue for the human race! Stephen Covey, in his various 7 Habits of Highly Effective People comes to much the same conclusion, without discussing gender.