Win People Over To Your Way Of Thinking, In A Good Way

Win People Over To Your Way Of Thinking—In A Good Way

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. Arguments usually end with the loser feeling resentful and the winner feeling victorious, but ultimately, no one wins.

Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong." If you want to win someone over to your way of thinking, the first step is to show respect for their opinions. Even if you disagree with them, you can still acknowledge their right to have their own opinion.

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. The faster you admit you're wrong, the less likely it is that the other person will hold it against you.

Begin in a friendly way. The more friendly you are, the more open the other person will be to your ideas. Get the other person saying "yes”. People are more likely to accept an idea if they have already agreed with something similar.

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Most people are more persuaded by their own ideas than by anyone else's. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. People are more likely to support ideas that they believe they came up with themselves.

Try honesty to see things from the other person's point of view. If you can understand the other person's perspective, you'll be in a better position to persuade them.

Appeal to the nobler motives. People are more likely to be persuaded by appeals to their better nature than by appeals to their self-interest. Dramatize your ideas. Use stories, anecdotes and examples to illustrate your points. Throw down a challenge, which can be a great way to motivate people to take action.

Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly. The more indirect you are, the less likely the other person is to become defensive. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing them. This will show the other person that you are not perfect either, and it will make them more receptive to your criticism.

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders. People are more likely to follow suggestions that they believe they came up with themselves. Let the other person save face. It's important to make the other person feel like they are not losing face when they change their behavior.

Praise the slightest improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." Encouragement is a powerful motivator. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to, as people often try to meet the expectations of others.