Saying "no" is tough, but key

Hey, saying “no” is never easy.

But the truth is, you are not a superhero with some kind of special power to buy extra time for your day. You can’t handle everything at once and sometimes saying “no” to certain things opens up new opportunities of saying “yes” to others that might be of your best interest and create a more positive impact for your team.

And now more than ever, as COVID has brought full virtuality to stay , time management can be a real challenge. Back to back meetings all day long, working from home, and chats result in a digital dynamic that more often than not, deprives you of even going to the toilet in peace. Your professional success AND your personal well-being depend on how well you manage your “no’s” ergo, your time.

So, when is the right time to start saying “NO”?

One word: Anxiety.

When you start feeling inexplicably anxious as a result of having too much stuff on your plate.

Say goodbye to being a people pleaser and learn how to confidently say no   without feeling bad about it.

“The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything”, Warren Buffet once said.

So here are some of my tips:

1. Asses the ask - I learned this from Mercedes Carriquiry, IA. AIA 🙂

This starts with insisting on a well-defined ask. You might help yourself and the asker by getting critical details about the request - this doesn’t mean you’re agreeing to the ask. It simply signals that you’re taking your counterparts’ needs seriously, whether you can help or not. The bigger or more complicated the ask, the more information you should gather.

Some questions that you can ask to better assess the request are:

• Who is the asker?
• What is the deliverable being requested? As specific as possible.
• When it needs to be done?
• What resources do you have and need?
• Possible benefits and possible drifts?

2. Don’t wait until you’re overloaded.

Often, “yes people” like me don’t realize they’ve taken on too much until it’s too late. This happens to me a lot as I’m an absolute optimist and I always believe I can do it all. What I’ve learned is to minimize that risk, by recording tasks into a planner or calendar app - I use Google Calendar. Don’t accept any tasks/meetings without checking your schedule first.

For me to become a master “no sayer”, I’ve learned this from Jesse Itzler - putting important things FIRST into my calendar, so the not so important stuff doesn’t jump the queue and you end up agreeing to do things that don’t matter. Even “Family time” is calendarized for me. 

3. Think about what could happen if you don’t say “no.”

The answer is simple, nothing bad could happen. Just remember all of the times you completely crashed from trying to take on too much. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Use it as a learning experience to help you remember why saying “yes” too much can create a mess. Remember, your first commitment is to yourself before anyone else.

Conclusion

Most of us have too much to do and too little time. Saying yes to requests from  teammates and others can make you feel important but can lead to burnout pretty fast.

The only way to be sustainably successful is to get really good at saying no in a way that makes people feel respected and to say yes only when your reasoning is sound and you have a clear plan of attack.

When do you find it the hardest to say “no?” Share with me below!

About me: I'm a passionate entrepreneur, writer and women in leadership advocate. Co-founder of slantis. Speaker at Harvard University Graduate School of Design and Practice of Architecture. Wife 1x, Mom x2, Entrepreneur 1000x. Follow me to learn how we grow our company!