Reconsidering Icebreakers: How to Make Room for Introverts

Inclusivity and Introverts

As a communication consultant, I often come across – and feel the need to comment on – thought pieces that dig into the challenges people face in workplace settings. Recently, someone shared “Dear Workplaces, Churches, and Schools, PLEASE Stop Doing Icebreakers. Signed, Introverts." The article can be found at IntrovertDear.com. The author of this article examines the effect of icebreakers on people who are not comfortable being in the spotlight. At Turpin, our goal is to help learners appreciate the importance of thoughtful communication and the role it plays in creating a safe and welcoming environment for everyone. So, the Introvert, Dear piece really spoke to me. (Read this article on The Art and Science of Facilitation for more about psychological safety in meetings.)

In this article, I’ll look at what you can do as a meeting facilitator to nurture inclusivity with the introverts in your group.

Acknowledging Different Perspectives

Meeting facilitators must remember that within every group of people, there is a broad spectrum of personalities and communication preferences. While extroverts thrive in social settings and may tend to embrace icebreakers and other activities, (I do not) many introverts find them daunting and overwhelming (also, timewasters). These people experience very real stress during what feels to others like a perfectly innocuous activity.

Your goal in every meeting is to demonstrate empathy and sensitivity to the people you’re working with, doing what you can to ensure that no one is made to feel excluded, embarrassed, or marginalized. This begins with awareness of your own preferences and personality. If you are an extroverted facilitator, it’s important to avoid making decisions based solely on what you would be comfortable with.

Examining the Need for Icebreakers

As you may have already concluded, I’m not a fan of icebreakers in the first place, so my initial recommendation is to examine whether you need one at all. If you conclude that you do, in fact, need an icebreaker, read on.

Challenging Traditional Icebreakers

Icebreakers, as the article rightly points out, should be focused on creating meaningful connections rather than merely “breaking the ice” for the sake of it. This is especially important for introverts.

Let’s take a look at two of the popular icebreaker activities commonly used in work group settings, "Two Truths and a Lie" and "Share Your Most Embarrassing Moment." Both activities ask participants to reveal personal, non-work-related information. That’s a big red flag for introverts because, for them, revealing personal information feels invasive and inappropriate.

If the goal is to create an environment where everyone feels valued and included, think about alternatives to traditional icebreakers. Here’s an example: Introverted people thrive in more intimate and one-on-one conversations, where they can express themselves freely and without judgment. You can take advantage of this by pairing people to discuss a work-related issue, then have one of them report out what they discussed to the larger group. This would achieve the goal of getting everyone involved in the process without potentially embarrassing the introverts.

Virtual Activities

With remote work and virtual meetings becoming the norm, meeting facilitators need to reckon with the challenges and opportunities this presents for introverts. One way to do this is to take advantage of digital communication tools. For example, using the chat function during virtual meetings offers a less intimidating space for participants to contribute their thoughts. Additionally, offering pre-meeting materials and allowing for asynchronous discussions can enable introverts to prepare and engage at their own pace.

Wrap Up

Through the thoughtful use of icebreakers, you can foster an environment where every participant feels welcome, valued, and empowered to express themselves authentically. A good facilitator is going to find ways to lay the foundation for meaningful connections that connect and inspire everyone on the team, regardless of their personality type or communication style.