A female’s leader secret power

I’m a woman architect.

Unfortunately, there are too few #womeninarchitecture and leaders to learn from.

In fact, there are no major examples of female leadership in architecture – Zaha Hadid, Jeanne Gang – but we hear about them because they are certainly the exception, not the rule. 

Women currently drop out of the profession at a rate of 32% between graduation and licensure in the US [Information from Equity by Design website]. The number of women who are The American Institute of Architects (AIA) members, licensed architects, and senior leadership varies between 15% to 18% of the total AIA members. 

We all know at this point how important role models are to encourage us to pursue our passions, remind us that we are not alone, and influence our ability to succeed.

During my life, I found amazing women I looked up to and were essential to my development as a person. First and foremost my mum, my sister, close friends and many more.

Sadly, when I became an architect, there were none. No kidding. And things didn’t improve when I started my company with Mercedes Carriquiry, IA. AIA either, women entrepreneurs are only 13% in the US. The outcome was that I found myself pursuing a #leadership style often emulating men to fit the existing power prototype as a business owner.

I had no great example to follow, and usually felt uncomfortable. 

Until something clicked. About 5 years ago.

I realized as a young CEO that building true relationships, empathizing with others, spreading positive energy, smiling, being cheerful and enthusiastic was positively affecting people. Especially where I thought before I needed to be distant and show myself as “serious”. Great leaders have a major positive impact on people’s lives -and I said to myself, this is what leadership is all about!

So I really worked to adapt my leadership style to: truly connect. 

I’m talking about genuinely caring about people, being sensitive and a good listener – and you might think “traits of a mother”. Well… of a global organization's leader- both, in fact.

Leading a company in a men’s industry like AEC (Architecture, Engineering and Construction) is hard, but let me tell you again my small secret:

Leadership is about connecting.

And regarding connections, women are the true masters. According to a study conducted at the University of Pennsylvania by neuroscientist Ragini Verma: “Men's brains are apparently wired more for perception and coordinated actions, and women for social skills and memory.”

People usually relate leadership to being authoritarian and cold. Qualities associated with women – such as empathy, compassion, and kindness – haven’t traditionally been considered leadership traits. We admire power-seeking, ambitious males. Yet, we distrust power-seeking females, are suspicious of their nature and question their competence.

But hey! , it's not that men cannot be caring, don’t get me wrong. 

We, as women, struggle to be accepted as leaders because if we are too strong, we’ll create passive-aggressive resistance. But if we're kind, team members will likely translate that into softness and eventually weakness. Either result limits our ability to create impact as leaders and reduces our authority.

As leaders, we need to help elevate our organizations by increasing the influence of positive change. As I see it, amazing, effective, inspiring, successful and happy women leaders are both strong and kind. 

3 tips that you can start using as a #womanleader to connect more with people (and don’t be scared/uncomfortable to do so):

1. Smile more.

A smile is a universal language that can literally change someone's day.

It boosts your mood, takes only a moment of your time, costs nothing and has an immediate positive impact for both parties. 

2. Spread love.

As the famous saying goes: love makes the world go round. Don’t let anyone connect with you without leaving happier. Be intentional. 

3. Be thankful.

Demonstrate sincere gratitude to those people who touch your heart. I say thank you all the time to people who inspire me, teaches me valuable lessons, helps me grow and become a better person, go  out of their way to give me advice or simply be  there. Never take them for granted. 

Every day we have the opportunity to help others, lift them up and take them to become their very best versions of themselves through very small acts of kindness, love and gratitude. The only possible way of elevating ourselves, growing and succeeding as humans and professionals is by truly connecting.

You can start now!

→ I truly appreciate that you took the time to read my article. It makes my writing worthwhile to know that others have read it and hopefully enjoyed it or learned something new! 

*** I want to give a special thanks to Rosa T. Sheng, FAIA, you are a true inspiration to me that literally transcends borders and one of my first women architect role models :)

About me: I'm an passionate entrepreneur, writer and women in leadership advocate. Co-founder of slantis. Speaker at Harvard and Practice of Architecture. Wife 1x, Mom x2, Entrepreneur 1000x. Follow me to learn how we grow our company!