A Feast of Friends

Why the Joy of Cooking is so much more

By Brian Danzis, President NA Seedtag

Cooking gave us not just the meal but also the occasion - Michael Pollan 

Ever since I was a little boy, not only did I love cooking, but I adored hosting. My mom still tells a story about the day she and my dad were caught off guard when a dozen neighbors showed up at our door because I invited them over for “tock-tails.” I was eight years old, publishing a little neighborhood newspaper (with ads, of course) and apparently throwing media parties (even if my parents were on the hook for drinks!)

Cooking for others has always been my happy place.  Facilitating large gatherings featuring my favorite foods with good friends: Utopia!

As a sales leader, I’ve regularly hosted team summer barbeques as a way to bring together geographically dispersed salespeople and celebrate mid year accomplishments.  What started with pig roasts in the early days of Videology had to be outdone every year - yes, I even procured a 35 pound goat in the early 2010s, which I marinated in jerk for 48 hours before roasting in a Caja China.  The weekend before starting at Spotify, I hosted 100 people, including new colleagues I had yet to meet,  for an end-of-summer celebration complete with a 5 foot long alligator I stuffed with an andouille sausage and cornbread filling. That one started as a bit of a lark but finished as one of the greatest dishes I’ve ever created! 

So, why do I go to these extremes?  If I like hosting and throwing parties, why don’t I just cater them and keep it simple? Or at least just stick to burgers and hot dogs?  Well, because I see cooking for others as a way of opening oneself up creatively and with congeniality— to build relationships, create trust and demonstrate humility (not everything I cook is awesome, trust me!) I believe that the act of nourishing people with sustenance, thoughtfully prepared and forged from your own hands forms kinship and connection.  Sometimes jokingly, I’ll equate this undertaking to the addition of the “soup course” at a dinner party because the chef that goes the extra mile to create this transitory dish is the one that really cares for their guests!

There’s religious subtext to all of this as well.  A well-known phrase in the New Testament says “It's hard to remain enemies when you've broken bread together.”  Indeed, when people join to share a meal, they take part in an ancient sacrament; a ceremony of fellowship in which stories are shared and partnerships are strengthened.  In today’s on-the-go world, too many families no longer sit together for dinner. Instagrammers are too focused on snapping pictures of their food than truly enjoying the meal (and their company.)  Have we forgotten the simple art of dining communally? Have we lost the joy of handcrafting a home-made meal from scratch?

One of my favorite quips is that every day is a celebration, every meal a feast and every moment an opportunity. While I think this phrase was adapted from a Marines Corps creed,  my interpretation is to cherish your time on Earth by remembering how lucky you are, taking pleasure in small daily tasks (like a meal) and pursuing the creation of magic—particularly, in the service of others.

Last week, we hosted our third annual Seedtag BBQ in my Pelham, NY backyard.  The night before my longtime friend Chad Schulte and I prepared (2) 16 pound Wagyu Prime Briskets, 10 racks of Iberico Ribs and, 10 pounds of Colossal Shrimp.  40 smoked bologna sliders were assembled, a dozen wood-fired pizzas readied and we made 25 pounds of macaroni salad in addition to home-made coleslaw, watermelon feta salad and, jalapeno cheddar corn-bread. We were up most of the night in this prep work (the brisket alone smoked for almost 15 hours) and the time spent together was incredible. Laughing, cooking, reminiscing about our friendship and careers; we joked about having an “adult sleepover” and it was a ton of fun.   The next day, when the combined NY teams of Seedtag and Beachfront arrived it was the most spectacular feeling—seeing so many people excited by the mass amounts of food we had created for them... It was the absolute best!

Things couldn’t be going any better at Seedtag .  Our high-performing team is already so close, it’s hard to imagine us getting even tighter; but I’m convinced on that day last week, we absolutely did.  We played games, ideated on ways to improve our business and gave speeches honoring each other.  We shared ideas, connected some dots and most of all, made plans. I was utterly spellbound on how the simple act of preparing a meal can ignite such happiness and spirit in those around you. David Brooks describes in his book The Second Mountain, that true joy and fulfillment comes when you live your life with purpose in the service of others.  Cooking may be yet a small contribution to this goal; but damn it feels good and makes people happy; so, I’m all in. 

Indeed, my love for cooking is perpetual but the satisfaction that comes with sharing my passion with others is boundless. As such, I’ll always be dreaming up new ways— in the words of Emeril Lagasse— to “kick it up a notch” through the age-old art of a well-cooked meal. I can’t wait for more to join me in toasting to humanity’s great tradition.