HOPE - Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences recently shared a post showcasing HOPE Champion Roger Sherman sharing the HOPE Framework with a group of parents while he comforted a baby. You can see the post here: https://shorturl.at/jwBM0
This post got me thinking about the kinds of reactions I typically see in public when a child is distressed and needs comfort. I can think of many examples of folks grumbling, sometimes loudly, about the baby crying on the airplane or the child bawling on the floor at the mall. Instead of seeing a distressed child in need of comfort, or an overwhelmed parent in need of support, they see an opportunity to criticize a stranger's "poor parenting skills".
What if we replaced reactions of shame/blame with reactions of curiosity and compassion? What if we looked for ways to model the Four Building Blocks of HOPE* in the way we chose to respond to distressed children and overwhelmed parents? What we might see?
- We might ASK the parents if they could use a hand. A simple offer of support to parents can help them feel supported instead of judged, which by itself could enable the parent to rally and re-approach their distressed child with renewed energy. This also provides an example to parents that encourages them to view asking for and receiving help with parenting as safe and productive. The Rugged Individualism that American culture is organized around discourages us from asking for outside help, especially in the personal area of raising children. By providing assistance to a parent in need of support, we directly communicate to them that help is available from their community, as well as counteract the shame that we often feel when asking for help. Considering the Four Building Blocks of HOPE, this best supports the building block of Relationships by teaching parents that they can engage in relationship with their community members to receive support in parenting.
- We might INTERACT with the distressed child. We could ask about what is upsetting them or distract them with something entertaining. This could help the child refocus on something other than the triggering event, which can help the child begin to calm down. This type of engagement is part of how children learn to self-regulate, which makes this a perfect example of supporting Emotional Growth, one of the Four Building Blocks of HOPE.
- We might ENCOURAGE our own children, if they are present, to interact with the distressed child. Children develop self-awareness and self-regulation from interactions with other children. Like the examples above, this strategy could support the Emotional Growth and the Relationship Building Blocks of HOPE.
These examples show that there are many opportunities to promote the Four Building Blocks of HOPE. As community members, we ALL have a role to play in supporting Positive Childhood Experiences.
*Unfamiliar with the Four Building Blocks of HOPE? Read more about them here: https://shorturl.at/nCKT8
We work with an incredible group of HOPE trainers to help spread positive childhood experiences for all children, families, and communities. Roger Sherman, HOPE Champion and Executive Director of the Idaho Children's Trust Fund, recently presented to a group of Head Start parents about the HOPE framework while comforting a baby! Keep up the amazing work, Roger!
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