Unilever is about to ‘zombify’ its Ice Cream brands, and set them loose. Well, actually they are already zombie brands — particularly Ben & Jerry‘s — so we should probably say ‘rezombify’.
What is a zombie brand? An offer that appears to be identical outwardly, but inwardly is controlled by a completely different entity — just like a ‘B movie’ zombie. Cadbury‘s is the poster-boy for British zombie brands. Outwardly the product looks the same as any Boomer‘s half-remembered nostalgia. But there is no trace of the original Cadbury ethos, the recipe has changed (it‘s now fake chocolate, with hardly any cocoa butter and far too much sugar), and the supply chain is shit, with child labour even. No more George Cadbury cycling into Birmingham after work to teach adult literacy, the pretentiously named Mondelēz International (who were Kraft, the plastic cheese people) run it now, for the benefit of a bunch of asset managers.
Ben & Jerry‘s has been much the same, packaged with hippie iconoclasm, administered by a multinational. It’ll be going along with Walls (which was never ice cream‘s greatest moment) and Magnum (which was kind of alright on an off-night). And this is what modern brands are designed to do: to provide an artificial sense of continuity, as they are bought and sold between investors, reduced in weight and cheapened in ingredients. It‘s a marketing con-trick, for the benefit of those who extract rent from us through these little monsters.
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Chief Executive Officer - Good Eat'n
4moSo nice to meet some lovely faces behind this delicious brand at expo!