Veterans… Don’t do this…
This is another realization I had to learn the hard way in the construction industry in my 30’s, at my first job after serving in the Marine Corps from ages 19-29.
I had to relearn to say "No" or "I can't do that."
An obedience mindset was deeply ingrained in me at first by my family. It was enforced that obedience to a superior is not negotiable.
In Boot Camp, I was taught by my Drill Instructor’s that, "discipline is instant obedience to orders!" This lesson was reenforced in occupational schools and by my own NCOs through physical, mental and emotional hazing.
…And when I became a Sergeant, I believed that is how my subordinates should act when I gave a command, so I trained them as I had been trained. These were the foundational-years of my life, during which I learned to follow and give orders in the Marine Corps.
Right or wrong, this was the worldview my life experiences had taught me to be successful.
However, these habits played a significant role in my life after service too. My civilian leaders took advantage of my ability to adapt and overcome by overworking me.
As I struggled and succeeded, I was rewarded with increasing responsibility. Without adequate compensation or additional manpower of course!
Looking back, I see that many of the tasks I undertook were unreasonable, yet my inability to quit pushed me to continue.
It took years for the realization to sink in that not everyone has your best interests at heart. Despite seeking assistance and expressing my struggles openly, I encountered manipulation and deceit from the “team leaders” I believed would support me.
With hindsight, I wish I had seen the signs earlier and acknowledged my worth and the importance of setting boundaries.
My journey in construction has been a painful but enlightening process, teaching me valuable lessons about self-awareness and how my naive and trusting nature continues to make me a target for abuse in corporate settings.
I hope this reflection can help others veterans. Learn from my mistakes and enforce boundaries to protect yourself.
Semper fi!
Bryan Jewell
#veteran#chronicillness#highachiever#emotionalimmaturity
