The 2024 batch of IIM Bangalore graduates very soon. Over the years I have learnt how hugely talented our graduates are. But also how sometimes they question and doubt themselves and their abilities. I write this thinking about the tragic suicide of Saurabh, a McKinsey consultant from IIMC and IITM. I wish some of us could have reached to him in time, so he could be saved.
It is very important that we are internally confident in life - where we know what we are good at, and also know when we genuinely need help of others. However, sometimes when young people navigate hyper competitive environments like IIMB, they tend to compare themselves with others, and feel insecure about their rank order. So they feel deeply insecure.
We are a society obsessed with scores and ranks and grades, and this creates an illusion that our competence is measurable and comparable to others, and that our total worth is in a ranking order, where some stars sit at the top, while others are "mediocre", "average" or at the bottom. Every body races to be the star in these games of "merit" socially constructed by others, while feeling under confident and insecure the whole time. I have played this game too... and I am fully aware of the stress such games bring.
But we don't have to turn our life into a race. We can hone what we are good at, without constantly worrying how good we are compared to others in some rank order. Instead of asking others - "Do you think I am competent? Where do I stand in the ladder?", ask yourself "What am I good at?" and ask others "How will you bring out the best in me? How can I bring out the best in you?".
All of us are good at something, we just need to find the right place and the right people, where we are seen, heard and understood, rather than trying to just fit into a situation where our competence may not be fully seen, heard or valued enough. Choose self-respect first, and while being humble and genuinely respectful, be the unyielding cheerleader of yourself. This fact is especially important for LGBT people, and those who come from marginalized backgrounds who often have to be their own cheerleaders. Simply walk out of places and people where you are felt unseen and unheard - they are not your community, and if they don't see you, it is not your problem. You were meant to stand out, not fit in.
In many ways, good mentors are so important for this reason... they can show you what you are good at, and help you hone those abilities, by not only helping you, but also connecting you with people and places where you shall be most respected as a person.
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2moCongratulations Karthikeyan S