Adam Weitsman’s Post

I have been having variants of the same conversation for the last ten years. The he said, she said, they did and I feel conversation. The it all feels a bit overwhelming and I don’t know where to start to make sense of it conversation. The why can’t we all just focus on doing the actual job converstion. Toxic people and places can take a long time to recover from. Even when you take yourself out of a difficult or stressful situation, it can stay with you. Questioning yourself, going over and over what happened, ruminating on what you could have done differently, better, not at all. Hot shame. Guilt even. This can be a shock to many people - they’ve taken away the source of the stress, so why don’t they feel better? Now ! 😩Your body is playing catch up, it’s still in that constant fight or flight feeling 🥴The phone rings with that particular ringtone and it makes you feel sick 😬You struggle to switch off because your mind is constantly on overdrive 😣 You worry that you’ll never get over it or past the feelings To heal from this stuff and extract whatever learning there might be takes time. You can’t rush it and it won’t happen overnight. Give yourself a break. If time isn’t on your side, then be kind to yourself and don’t expect yourself to be firing on all cylinders straight away. If the feelings don’t dissipate over time then find someone to help you work through it.

Don’t shoot the messenger! One of the jobs that I can do Is to find all the parts of me that reject you. So that I can hold the hand of my inner child whilst she gazes at you And discovers that you were never the threat To fall in love so deeply, requires me to not shoot the messenger who’s job it was to teach me +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Last week I received an email via one of my websites, from someone sharing with me, just how toxic I am. I had to sit with it and consider whether it’s true. It stung, initially. And then I remembered to look at the sting, observe it, allow the sensation of it and consider the message it was here to bring. I’ll share more on the message another time. Today, I just want to share the message of the sting though, which incidentally hasn’t killed me and which also hasn’t been fully alchemised either……I’m working on it though 🙏🏻 Feelings don’t tell us what the truth is, they tell us what our beliefs are and whether they’re close to the truth of our true nature ❤️ It’s so tempting to respond to the feeling with proof that it’s wrong, that they’re wrong, but we only do that when we believe that feelings are a statement. Theyre not! Feelings are an invite to inquiry. If you’ve received comments that sting, this might help you to consider what’s true for you. It’s never the best idea, to focus on the commenter, our feelings, our emotional responses are not about them, they’re about ourselves. I wonder just how much conflict we can resolve if and when we realise this?

𝑵𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 I hear this so often when I first start working with clients. They are berating themselves for things that don't really matter. It isn't wrong as such however, it isn't helpful. And yes, I have been there too for many years! So if this resonates, I have been there too. Did you know? The average person has between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day. 80% of those thoughts are negative 🛑 95% of todays thoughts were the same as yesterday 🛑🛑 (Source: National Science Foundation: 2005) That is why I say it isn't helpful when people keep on incanting to themselves and talk themselves down. That is one of the first things we get handled when I work with a client. You wouldn't do that to your child, so why do that to yourself? You are designed for massive things in life so please stop the negative sabotaging self talk as: 1. It isn't helpful to you - the most important person 2. It isn't helpful to those around you - partner, kids, colleagues 3. It isn't helpful to the rest of the world as what you say and do starts a ripple effect If you find yourself talking ill of your actions, identify it and STOP! You are destined for more - if you want it of course as you maybe happy with your lot currently, and that is ok. If not and you feel you are worht more than you have currently and would like some help, then DM and lets have a chat. Always remember You are Worth It! Message me and lets arrange to have an informal chat

This #SelfInjuryAwarenessDay here are some ways to support someone who self-harms 💙 Alt text: How to support someone who self-harms. Whether someone tells you directly, or you think someone is hurting themselves, it can be difficult to know what to say or do. Here are some things you can do to try and make a difference to them... Try not to panic or overreact. The way you respond will have an impact on how much they open up to you and other people about their self-harm in the future. Try not to judge. Let them know you're there for them. Relate to them as a whole person, not just their self-harm. Try to have empathy and understanding about what they're doing. Let them be in control of their decisions. Offer to help them find support. Remind them of their positive qualities and things they do well. Try to have honest communication, where you take responsibility for any fears you have. Supporting someone who is self-harming can be a long process with many ups and downs. Remember to take care of yourself - so you can stay involved for longer and keep well.

In this context, "spill out" means to express or reveal something openly and candidly. Here are ten example sentences demonstrating its usage: 1. During the interview, she spilled out her deepest fears and insecurities. 2. As the therapy session progressed, he spilled out the trauma he had been carrying for years. 3. The confession prompted her to spill out the truth about her involvement in the incident. 4. Under the dim lights of the bar, he spilled out his heartache over a glass of whiskey. 5. In his journal, he spilled out his thoughts and emotions, seeking solace in the written word. 6. Over coffee, they spilled out their frustrations about work and life in general. 7. Unable to contain her excitement, she spilled out the news of her promotion to everyone. 8. When asked about his childhood, he spilled out memories of laughter and tears. 9. With tears in her eyes, she spilled out her regrets and apologies to her loved ones. 10. The support group provided a safe space for survivors to spill out their experiences without judgment. Hashtags: #SpillOut #OpenUp #ShareYourStory #ExpressYourself #CandidConversation #EmotionalRelease #HeartfeltConfession #TherapeuticTalk #VulnerableMoment #HonestCommunication

Worth a two reads. Be mindful around those who need it.

Some helpful tips here…

Most of us have a 2nd voice in our head. Some have many voices, but most have 2 very distinct ones. The loud and the soft. The loud one tends to dominate most of our waking hours in the day. The soft one, they poke at you while you are not really paying attention. Such as when you are in the shower, taking a walk at the park, cooking, or just sitting on the couch daydreaming. The loud one is also unfortunately a bully. The self bully you have in you. Always asking you if you are really worth the weight. You are not good enough. You should have said that earlier. You could have done this better. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. It is this loud bullying voice, that is also you in your head, it is this loud voice that is also the one that is always mean to you. The one that is hurling all kinds of untrue things at you. The one that is creating all kinds of confusion in you. It’s also the one telling you to ignore the softer voice. The softer voice tugs at your pants and tells you to look here. You are actually a lot more capable than you think you are. What if you can just slow everything down and everything will be okay? You can actually just do this or that you know? You can try. The softer voice carries hope and possibilities. But because the louder one is so loud, we can only hear it and not the other. And because it’s so authoritative, we end up listening to its BS. And when we act on it’s BS, we get more BS as a result. And we perpetuate whatever unpleasantness we experience. If you see a bully on the streets picking on someone, would you just walk away? Why would you walk away from this bully in your mind? #mentalwellbeing #selfawareness

When someone is angry, it's important to respond in a calm and empathetic way to de-escalate the situation. Here are a few perfect answers to reply to someone when they're angry: 1. I understand you're upset. Can you tell me more about what's bothering you? 2. I'm here to listen. Please share what's on your mind. 3. I can see why you'd feel that way. Let's work together to find a solution. 4. Take a deep breath, I'm here to support you. What can I do to help? 5. I apologize if I contributed to your frustration. How can I make it right? Remember to maintain a calm tone, active listening, and empathy to help diffuse the anger and resolve the issue.

Nobody wants to hear this, but... Ghosting *is* a reply. Stop living in denial. Free yourself. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Tell me, how does the answer change ANYTHING about your personal situation? In the context of hiring and HRs: If you talked to 100 people, and selected 2, how practical do you think it is for you to get back to 98 people ? Being ghosted stings, I get it, trust me. As a creative professionals, I have had my fair share of ghosting by prospective clients, so I know...I do. But, the only thing that helped me is this: Ghosting is a reply. I have zero expectation for those clients to get back to me. I cannot lose my sleep over a maybe call. I cannot lose my next course of action over a probability. I set my own time. If the callback comes in that time, great. If it doesn't, it's a reply.