When you are nervous

- Heart pounding, stomach churning, voice trembling. This is public speaking reality for so many people. I've met people who despise standing up in front of big groups. Others who are calm with a crowd, but anxious when they're around executives or when they have to talk about certain topics. The techniques you are about to learn will minimize your nervousness and unlock the power of your voice. BREATHE. BREATHE is the acronym to help you remember these tips, and, it is your first tip. Right before you speak, find a private place and strike what social psychologist, Amy Cuddy, calls a "power pose." Stretch out big, take a deep breath. This will raise your confidence hormones and prepare you to take the stage. "R" in our BREATHE acronym is for "reframe your internal dialogue." The physiological signals that we feel when we're nervous, heart pounding, sweaty palms, those also happen when we are excited. I mean, people choose to go on roller coasters or scary movies to experience these very same feelings. So when you feel your body tense, tell yourself, "I'm excited about this speech." "E." "E" is for "ease into your fear." Desensitize yourself to the scariest parts of your speaking by wading in gradually. If being the center of attention makes you nervous, you can gradually acclimate to having eyes on you. You could go to your spin or yoga class and move from the back row, to the middle, to the front. Get used to having eyes on you. Or, begin speaking up at meetings where you can stay seated or even lean against a table. "A" is for "alternate your practice." Sometimes, practice with your visuals. Other times, just talk to a friend about your topic. Go through it in your mind when you drive, or record yourself and listen back. When you make a mistake, keep going. Some speakers give excellent introductions, which they practiced to perfection, but then they fizzle out in their closing. Try practicing your second talking point before your first, your wrap up before the intro. If you practice by chunking, then interruptions or questions during your actual conversation won't throw you off. "T." "T" is for "terminate your negative self-talk." If you catch yourself saying or thinking things like, "I'd rather die than do this speech." "I'm going to sound like an idiot." Stop. Plug in a new thought. "Speaking is how I get things done." "I know a ton about this subject." "H" stands for "heart rate up." Climb a flight of stairs and then practice with your heart rate elevated. On your big day, your heart rate might spike, but you'll breathe and modulate your voice right through it because you've practiced with your heart rate up. And finally, another "E," "empathize." If I'm nervous, I'm usually focused on me. I'm worried I'll forget something or wondering what others will think about me. When I shift my focus to my listeners, my fear falls away. I think instead, "Wait, I wonder how long these poor souls have been sitting in those hard chairs or staring at their screens." Focusing on the listener will help reduce your own nerves. So, next time you're feeling nervous about a communication event, just breathe.