Tune into emotional patterns for greater resilience

Have you ever noticed yourself reacting more strongly to something than other people seem to? Maybe you really hate awkward silences or avoid constructive feedback or maybe you feel a ton of anxiety when your boss puts a meeting on your calendar. Each of us has unique emotional reactions to things, and sometimes those reactions can make it difficult to be resilient through a tough moment. Here's the thing, though: it's pretty tough to change anything about who you are before you understand it. By tuning into your emotional patterns, you'll start to be able to predict and thus prevent reactions or behaviors that aren't serving you. The first step here is to keep an eye out for your emotional patterns. Ask yourself these questions. When I feel distressed about something, what's my go to emotion or reaction? Is it anger? Sadness? Hopelessness? Maybe anxiety? Or do you withdraw? Get more aggressive? By recognizing your patterns, you'll begin to anticipate your typical reactions. This will give you more control over what you do in these tough moments. You're less likely to be hijacked by your own emotions because you'll see them coming. So, for example, if you know receiving feedback makes you anxious, and when you're anxious, you withdraw, you can be proactive and get ahead of this tendency. For example, you could request that your manager give you your feedback in written form so that you have time to think about it before responding. Or if you notice that you tend to snap at your reports when you're hungry, you might put lunch on your calendar and prioritize eating even when you're busy. So how do you start spotting emotional patterns? What I want you to do is just for a week, keep an emotions and reactions log. Throughout your day, note the strong emotions you experience. Then think what caused them, how did you feel and how did you react. Over time, take note of the themes. Maybe you react most strongly when you're interacting with authority or when you have a need and breakfast. As you identify patterns, approach them with curiosity. You're gathering data here, not judgements, so it's important to have self-compassion as you do it. Once you've started to understand your patterns, create an action plan. If you're cranky in the mornings, is it a sign that you should prioritize more sleep? If you feel insecure during team meetings, maybe it's a sign that you should have a conversation with your manager about what you need in order to feel good about sharing your ideas? This emotional awareness will become a key pillar of your resilience.