Practice acknowledging difficult truths

When you're faced with a painful moment, loss, disappointment or setback, what's your first instinct? For many people, it's to turn away from the truth. This might look like distracting yourself, denying or avoiding the situation, or just telling yourself that it's fine when it's not. This is a very human reaction, but avoidance comes at a cost. When you dodge a difficult reality, you're denying yourself an opportunity to learn, heal, grow, and build resilience. And your feelings about that situation don't just disappear just because you're not feeling them. They get pushed down somewhere within you, and they take up a lot of your energy without you even realizing it. I once worked with an executive who had gotten some difficult to hear feedback from a colleague. His first reaction was to downplay the feedback and just push forward, but he noticed himself having a tough time working that week, and he was avoiding his colleague. When he took a second to sit with what he was feeling, he realized that his ego was bruised, but that the feedback he'd received was actually pretty useful. By letting himself feel his emotions, he freed up the space to take action on what he should change. Luckily, acknowledging uncomfortable truths is like exercising a muscle. It might feel uncomfortable in the moment, but over time, you'll get stronger and you'll be better able to face future pain head on. So how can you flex this muscle? It's as simple, simple not easy, as leaning toward your discomfort and pain instead of away from it. Let's say you put yourself up for a promotion at work and they chose someone else. In avoid that response, might look like shrugging it off and telling yourself, well, I really didn't want that. Acknowledging this difficult truth looks like letting yourself feel the very reasonable disappointment and hurt that comes with this kind of situation. A great way to practice this is to use "and" statements which acknowledge both the positive and the painful. "I'm going to be okay without this promotion, and I'm sad because I worked hard for it and I didn't get it." This honesty with yourself is vulnerable, which is why you might avoid it, but it's also hugely freeing. As you stop turning away from the truth, you can start working with it. In this example, letting yourself feel your disappointment fully might motivate you to get some feedback, change the way you're approaching your work or reflect on your career path. I want you to try this right now. Think of one difficult truth or reality in your life that you typically avoid. It might be a dissatisfaction with your job, a tension in your relationship, or a place you feel stuck but you're unsure how to move forward. Write down a few sentences honestly acknowledging this reality using "and" statements to hold all sides of the truth. For example, "I'm grateful that I have a steady paycheck and I feel unchallenged and bored in my current role." You don't have to take any action right away, just let yourself sit with the discomfort of the truth. Just by acknowledging it, you'll free up the energy that was drained by avoidance, and you'll move one step toward change, growth, and resilience.