What do you do if you receive criticism that challenges your beliefs or is hard to accept?

When my son was around 3 years old, he taught me a wonderful practice. In 'school' that day they'd discussed hurting friends feelings and what to do to make sure they didn't do it intentionally. "Stop & think! Mama. Take one second before you say anything . . . & remember to listen." He starts high school in the fall, but I still do this whenever my first reaction is to get defensive, angry, or feel the need to respond in kind. (I have a wickedly sharp tongue, & it's usually faster than my brain.). So I stop, assess the situation for just a second. Is there validity to the criticism? From what perspective is it being given? I might ask some follow up questions, and then thank them for their input. And I always remind myself to listen.

What do you hear when faced with challenging criticism? It's easy to stack stories of disappointment and feeling unsafe when hearing someone isn't happy with a given performance. Take a moment, take a breath, and engage in active listening to identify the points of friction being presented in the discussion. Try not to dive into blame, defensiveness, or listing where they are wrong, and take a moment to take in the information being shared with empathy and curiosity about how the other person is seeing things. Focus on the process and expectation. Is their request reasonable? Why, or why not? This sets the tone for a productive conversation going forward.

First consider the source. The person criticizing you has their unique lens upon which they see the world, their beliefs, expectations, conditioning and more. Next, consider why it's hard to accept or challenges your beliefs? What's at risk if you allow the criticism to show you something you may not otherwise have seen which can help you in some way? While the delivery may not have been welcomed, if there's something to gain from it then it may be worth exploring. Finally, when our beliefs and ways are fixed, a new perspective can challenge what we've created, possibly dismantling it all. If that risk feels too great, it's easy why we'd prefer keeping new ideas at bay.

When people challenge you! Good for them. Be curious! Truly understand from their perspective. Sometimes asking for time to consider what has been presented and to process it. Reach out with questions that may help you to better understand. You might express that is an interesting perspective, tell me more about that? What had been your experience with this before? What has been helpful? What do you need from me? Why do you feel that way? What specifically is it that you struggle with or tone, relevancy, belief system? What would you life to see going forward? Then research what has been said. Come back to a conversation after processing. It is good when someone feels the comfort to advocate for themselves and their needs.

At home - shut up and work harder. At school - shut up and study better. At work - Only reply through emails with a hint of passive-aggressiveness here and there for your amusement (I am kidding! ;p). At life - surround yourself with people who don't diminish your light.

In cases of more complex requests or points of friction it is best to collect information and, if the situation permits, take a step back to pause and reflect on the issue at hand. I find that saying "I am safe" out loud helps. Because criticism can cause the nervous system to feel threatened. A relaxed mind makes better decisions. Take time to walk through process steps and recommendations and give thoughtful feedback and new solutions. Prepare information and suggestions for open and flexible dialogue to co-create a solution that satisfies the stakeholders involved. Once this period of reflection is complete a time can be scheduled to discuss the plan going forward. Place the new suggestions in writing for team review and implementation.

When you're confronted with criticism that challenges your beliefs or proves difficult to accept, you prioritize reflection as your initial response. This deliberate pause grants you the opportunity to evaluate the feedback impartially, weighing its validity and potential for personal and professional growth. By engaging in introspection, you navigate your reactions thoughtfully, ultimately fostering a constructive approach that facilitates your ongoing development and evolution.

In the face of criticism challenging your beliefs or proving hard to accept, seeking clarity is pivotal. You engage in dialogue to grasp the critique fully, asking for specifics and understanding the perspective behind it. This deliberate effort aids in objectively assessing the criticism's validity and relevance. By seeking clarity, you navigate through discomfort with a constructive mindset, fostering personal growth even amidst challenging feedback.

When you receive criticism that challenges your beliefs or is hard to accept, analyze it objectively. Take a step back to evaluate the critique impartially, separating emotions from facts. By examining the feedback through a neutral lens, you can understand its merit and potential for growth. This approach enables you to respond constructively, fostering personal development despite the discomfort of facing beliefs being challenged.

Collaborative efforts are always more impactful when approached with an open mind. Constructive criticism is sometimes difficult to hear and accept, however if given the opportunity to talk through perceptions and assumptions as well as process facts it can be an enjoyable experience.

When you encounter criticism that challenges your beliefs or is difficult to accept, your best course of action is to engage constructively. Rather than reacting defensively, approach the feedback with an open mind. Listen attentively, seeking to understand the perspective behind the critique. Reflect on the feedback objectively, considering its merits and potential for growth. Respond calmly and respectfully, acknowledging valid points while also expressing your own viewpoint. By embracing the opportunity for dialogue and learning, you can turn challenging feedback into a catalyst for personal and professional development.

When you face criticism challenging your beliefs or proving difficult to accept, plan your action. Take time to process the feedback, separating emotions from facts. Identify specific areas for improvement and create an action plan. Seek support from mentors or peers if needed. Implement your plan with determination, using the criticism as a catalyst for growth. By taking proactive steps, you can navigate through discomfort and emerge stronger from the experience.

#1 response is to listen. If it's an angry discussion, no one will listen until the anger is diffused and all understand they will not be attacked for voicing their views. I understand that others do not agree or think like I think or have my life experiences. Effective dialogue is a negotiation where all involved allow other voices to be heard and respected. It doesn't mean anyone will change another person's mind, as that isn't the goal. The goal is to learn from each other, understand where another person is coming from, adjust our thinking if we think that's important, and not be offended or take it personally if someone disagrees. We can listen and still have our beliefs or opinions intact or change those. We get to decide.

It is hard to get along with EVERYONE. But choose your battles wisely. Rather, stop seeing conflict as "conflict" and name it something more positive or less serious, like a disagreement or miscommunication. Without us realizing, we respond to connotations as we learn most words in certain context. E.g. I learned condescending through Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory. So whenever I use that word, I mean it in the way it was portrayed in the sitcom. Similarly, though the definition of a word is same for all, it's comprehended meaning and connotation varies. Hence the top voices always tell us to choose our words wisely. I would add on to that and advise to choose silence over words and compensate for the silence with positive action.