How can you use positive language to de-escalate a conflict with a client?

One of the most common reasons a conflict blows up with a client is because they haven’t been ‘heard’ or their complaint hasn’t registered or been acknowledged. Often we jump in with a ‘defensive objection’ along the lines of “that’s not quite true” or “that’s not how it happened”. This will do little except infuriate your client further. You will have an opportunity to present your thoughts later during the conversation but in the first instance allow them to share their narrative and fully understand their problem and perspective… otherwise you will lose them (and possibly their business) at hello! In conflict, we want others to hear us which means listening, seeking clarity, reframing and showing understanding and empathy.

I cannot express how many times I have worked with clients who are raging because the way they feel has been dismissed. By diminishing someone’s feelings we are essentially disrespecting them. We are saying that what they are experiencing isn’t important…. And it might not be to us but it is to them! We all prioritise different values which is why some people don’t understand why others kick up such a fuss over something that seems irrelevant to us. Be mindful of the words you use and ensure you acknowledge and validate their anger or frustration which is the first step to bringing calm to the situation. When they are calmer, they will be more likely to engage in a less toxic dialogue.

When an order has been delayed or a mistake made, a client does not want to hear answers like.. “No” “We can’t do that” “It will be another 2 weeks” “We can’t fix this in time for the launch”🤦🏼♀️ These answers feed their negativity and anger. By reframing the situation, you are subconsciously shifting their mindset and attention from ‘this is a disaster’ to ‘that will work’. They still might not be too happy about it but they won’t fester on the downside but focus on the fix. Remember negativity breeds negativity so come up with some forward thinking, solution focused alternative responses before your call that moves their mindset from a negative one to a more positive outlook.