How do you approach a peer who is not receptive to feedback on their communication style?

Offer specific instances where their communication style may have caused confusion or misunderstanding. Use factual observations rather than judgmentsOffer specific instances where their communication style may have caused confusion or misunderstanding. By approaching the conversation with empathy, clarity, and a focus on collaboration, you can increase the likelihood that your peer will be more receptive to feedback on their communication style

Começar destacando algo positivo sobre o trabalho ou a contribuição do colega. Isso ajuda a estabelecer um tom construtivo para a conversa. Apresento exemplos concretos do comportamento ou da comunicação que você gostaria de discutir. Isso ajuda a tornar o feedback mais tangível e menos abstrato. Ouvir o colaborador para que também coloque o seu ponto de vista. E depois oferecer ajuda para que ele possa desenvolver-se.

When a colleague is resistant to feedback regarding their communication style, I discreetly arrange a private meeting with them to discuss the matter in a non-confrontational and transparent manner. Another important aspect to consider is the delivery of the feedback. In this situation, it is crucial to ensure that the feedback is not perceived as mere advice. Advice tends to be unilateral, while feedback is intended to be a collaborative process.

One thing I learned when giving feedback to someone who is not receptive to any type of feedback, is by striking up a conversation with that person on looking at things from a different point of view and what that perspective could teach them. Some people learn better through being asked to think on something from a different point of view. I then ask them what would their thoughts be based on that perspective. 9 times out of 10, people thank me for giving them something more to think about concerning their work, communication style or general performance. Key thing here: Allow them the chance to come to the answer themselves by guiding them via your curiosity on what they think from a different perspective then what they're use to.

When a peer is not receptive to feedback on his communication style, I choose a private, neutral setting for the conversation. I use “I” statements to frame my feedback from my perspective, avoiding accusatory language. I provide specific, objective examples of the communication issues and explain their impact. I emphasize that my intent is to improve mutual understanding and team dynamics, not to criticize. I actively listen to his perspective to help him feel heard and respected. I offer practical solutions and express my willingness to support him in making changes. Finally, I follow up after some time to assess improvements and determine if further discussion is needed.

Essa abordagem requer uma estratégia e muita sensibilidade. Antes de mais nada, precisamos saber escolher um momento apropriado e privado para introduzir o assunto. Essa introdução deve ser de maneira indireta, falando de forma generalizada antes de focar no ponto central, no entanto, sendo específico quanto aos exemplos comportamentais e contextualizando como isso impacta diretamente a equipe ou o trabalho. É importante que haja muita empatia, demonstrando que o seu objetivo é ajudar e não criticar. E ao invés de apontar problemas e culpados, apresente soluções e novas ideias a fim de melhorar a comunicação. Tenha a sensibilidade de escutar também. Dê espaço ao colega para compartilhar suas perspectivas e esteja sempre aberto ao diálogo.

In my experience, reflecting on the intention is crucial, stating why you want to have the conversation can also help set a positive tone for the conversation and your peer is likely to be more receptive to your feedback. Emphasize that you want to have the conversation because you value your working relationship, highlight that the effort is aimed at working more effectively together.

Recentemente trabalhei esse tema com os tutores de um curso na área de gestão de pessoal para novos supervisores de equipe para controladores de voo. A importância do feedback ao encerrar um disciplina ou até mesmo durante o curso é muito relevante, tanto para os alunos, quanto para o próprio tutor, pois alguns processos podem ser ajustados, corrigidos e aperfeiçoados ou até mesmo ratificados. A comunicação eficaz apresenta-se como uma ferramenta importante nesse contexto, pois de uma maneira assertiva e empática, a equipe fica mais engajada e o curso flui melhor e mais próximo do esperado.

Se um colega for resistente ao feedback, para mostrar interesse no desenvolvimento e crescimento do mesmo é importante ouvi-lo e ao me colocar no lugar do outro posso compreender possíveis falhas internas que contribuiram para determinada situação. A conversa deve ser direta, afim de evitar interpretações incorretas, para que o feedback não aumente os conflitos internos. Por fim, acho importante levar pontos positivos como cases de sucesso, para que o colaborador não se desmotive e veja o feedback como uma oportunidade de construção de melhorias em si mesmo, e nos processos internos. Juntos somos melhores.

Focus on specific examples. Instead of making general statements, provide concrete examples of how their communication style is impacting you or others

The right timing can make a significant difference in how your feedback is received but you have to consider their mood. Try to have the conversation when your peer is in a good headspace, not stressed or overwhelmed. Then again consider having the conversation when both of you are alone.

Timing plays a huge role on receptiveness, choosing a more relaxed moment can increase the likelihood of a positive response. Another huge benefit of this is that it demonstrate respect, it communicates you value their time and emotional state.

Timing is key. Choose a time for a private conversation when your peer is likely to be receptive. Avoid giving feedback right after a stressful event or in front of others.

Framing feedback from your own perspective after acknowledging and commending your peer's strength helps to lower their defenses because it helps them feel valued and supported. Another hint would be collaborating to find solution, make it a two-way dialogue, this can help build a more cohesive and productive relationship.

É sempre bom aguardar um melhor momento para iniciar a conversa, destacando os pontos que impactaram positivamente à empresa e ao colega, alinhando as iniciativas com os resultado, incentivando-o a manter-se em busca de uma melhoria contínua e como sugestão, apresentar os pontos a serem desenvolvidos em sua comunicação. Dessa forma, ele poderá ver mais claramente a necessidade de melhorar, sem receber mal o feedback e ainda se motivar para melhorar.

Comenzaría por ubicar el momento más privado que se pueda y destacaría que su opinión es importante preguntando además si me permite hacer una observación con todo respeto y allí abordaría el punto donde considero debería reforzar y mejorar. Ofrezco mi ayuda en caso de que así lo quisiera, también buscaría información y otras áreas donde nos pudiéramos apoyar para mejorar.

Haz que tu compañero se sienta escuchado y valorado. Emplea técnicas de escucha activa para captar y reflejar sus sentimientos y preocupaciones. Facilita que pueda verse a sí mismo desde otro ángulo, asegurándote de que no perciba tus observaciones como un juicio.

Active listening is not just a skill but a cornerstone of positive and constructive feedback conversations. Using non-verbal cues play a huge role here, nod and use facial expressions to show you are following along and truly understand them.

Esteja aberto para ouvir, e preste atenção ao que está sendo falado sem julgamentos. Mostre que o feedback, não é um apontamento de erros, e sim um alhinhamento de expectativas de ambas as partes. Um Feedback bem-sucedido, é uma conversa franca e equilibrada entre perguntas e respostas, onde ambos podem levantar pontos importantes para melhoria de si mesmos, e dos processos internos da companhia.

TV series „The Big Bang Theory” inspired me to reply to this post. Let’s see the Sheldon Cooper character. Intelligent people, like Sheldon, can be seen as very direct in communicating, focusing on the topic rather than thinking about the audience. They fail in interpersonal communication. If this is your case, offer a group training. In my company there was an „company university” providing international short trainings led by psychologists or communication professionals. These were 1-2h online events for worldwide people. Participants were from different countries, cultures, different job positions. Trainers not only provided content but also research and they asked open questions to participants. I truly enjoyed the trainings.

Offering support demonstrates empathy and helps build a stronger connection. Offering support based on your peer's preference is a very practical choice.

Para ver resultados positivos no feedback, faça perguntas chaves, alinhem expectativas e marque novas conversas, reuniões a cada 15 dias para manter o progresso atualizado. Quais serão os próximos passos? Como podemos melhoras juntos? Quais ações podem ser implantadas na próxima semana?

The most effective way to encourage them to be open to feedback is by sharing your own experience of how feedback has positively impacted your life or work. For instance, you could say, 'There was a time when I faced (describe the situation), and receiving feedback helped me improve (explain how it made a difference).' Sharing your own mistakes and vulnerabilities can inspire them to do the same, fostering an environment where openness to constructive criticism thrives.

When a peer is not receptive to feedback on his communication style, I choose a private, neutral setting for the conversation. I use “I” statements to frame my feedback from my perspective, avoiding accusatory language. I provide specific, objective examples of the communication issues and explain their impact. I emphasize that my intent is to improve mutual understanding and team dynamics, not to criticize. I actively listen to his perspective to help him feel heard and respected. I offer practical solutions and express my willingness to support him in making changes. Finally, I follow up after some time to assess improvements and determine if further discussion is needed.

Peer who resists feedback on his/her communication style may be influenced by his/her culture and past conditioning. Cultural norms can dictate communication preferences, such as directness or indirectness, while past experiences shape his/her openness to critique. To address this we genuinely need to be empathetic to understand his/her background and show respect for their perspective for them to be receptive.