Parenting: How to talk to your children about sensitive topics

Dear parents, picking up from where I left off two weeks ago on the birds and bees narrative, I want to examine what mostly deters us as parents to have open conversations about important but sensitive subjects such as this.

It’s a given that parent-child relationships have now transcended the old restrictive models and there is a general bonhomie between the two generations that fosters friendship and understanding between them. Children are more likely to share their experiences now with parents than we might have done decades ago, and parents too are better cued to receive the inputs with equanimity.

Parents in their 30s and 40s, especially those settled in advanced societies, are realistic about what their children are exposed to and might be prone to in the modern world, yet in many societies there are cultural codes that restrict open communication. I am sure you have felt the baggage of your own traditional upbringing playing spoilsport in your efforts to bridge communication gaps with your children.

Cultural differences between societies are hard to wish away. Things that might be acceptable in one part of the world may not be wholeheartedly welcomed in another part, no matter how educated the parents are or how inclined to adapt. Some of our rudimentary nature will remain ingrained in us and we will not allow them to be thwarted in the name of modernity. Under such circumstances, the topic of bees and birds can not only be uncomfortable for parents but also embarrassing to the children. Which is where laying the ground for openness right from the beginning makes practical sense.

We shouldn’t be faced with the prospect of having to talk about the basic realities of life with either guilt or remorse. Hence prepare yourself for this phase in life when you will have to make the vital conversations without strain. It won’t be easy unless we try to shed our inhibitions of the past and embrace the realities of the present. Like any old habit or conditioning, it may take huge efforts to shake off our archaic ways and embrace change. We may have to strive hard to get into a comfort zone, but know that in the process of this transformation, we are growing too as parents.