Say Yes to the Dress?.The Reds go shopping!

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Once, on an airplane from Boston to California, I watched five straight episodes of What Not To Wear. I only meant to watch ne, but I was mesmerized. Riveted. Fascinated. I mean---Stacy and...what’s his name?—were amazing. Brilliant. It was Cinderella come to life. It was relatable.  The women were thrilled (after they got over being embarrassed.).  It was such a happy ending, every time.

 There’s also my on the road staple (after CHOPPED): Say Yes To The Dress.  Do you watch that? And, of course, Project Runway.  I used to love paper dolls. I guess it’s the same-ish thing.

So! What fun to have our own little version on Jungle Red today. As Annette Dashofy—Agatha nominee Annette Dashofy!—takes us on her journey to say yes!  And she has a very critical question for you at the end.

The Quest for the Dress

         By Annette Dashofy

 First of all, thanks so much to Hank and the ladies of JRW for having me back. It’s always so much fun and a huge honor to hang out with you gals!

But then I’m faced with what to write. There are so many big issues out there today, but most depress the hell out of me. Or make me want to bash heads. Not good since I’m trying to stay out of jail and the psych ward. Some research, I’d rather avoid.

 So I’ve decided to share what’s become a real hot-button topic over on my Facebook page.

 What dress should I wear to the Agatha Awards Banquet?

By the way, congratulations, Hank! I’m still in shock to be nominated along side you, Margaret, Catriona, and Louise. I have to check the Malice Domestic page every other day or so just to make sure I haven’t hallucinated the whole thing.

Anyhow, last year, I already had a dress for the banquet long before the nominations were announced. The big question was what SHOES to wear with it. This year, I’m starting from scratch. Dress. Shoes. Accessories. All of it.

My quest started online.

And of course the thing with Facebook is once you look at one fancy dress on a store’s website, you receive hundreds of ads for similar dresses on your page. Cyber window shopping!

For a chuckle, I started posting a few of the ones I liked. Oh. My. My friends have very strong opinions about fashion. No black! No navy! You need bright colors! Looks like a mother-of-the-bride dress!

(Well, yeah. It is. They don’t label them Agatha Awards Banquet Dresses. Although I think they should.)

I was told I should wear red.

No, green. Definitely that blue one. No, hate the blue one.

  

It was so much fun! Like the fashionistas on the red carpet picking apart J-Lo’s latest haute couture.

Entertainment value aside, I couldn’t select any of the Nominees for Agatha Banquet Dress 2016 without first trying them on. With my good gal pal Jessi Pizzurro in tow, we headed to the mall to buy The Dress.

I started with three that met my criteria. No plunging necklines. Must have sleeves. Cocktail or tea length. Of those first three, one was a maybe. Two were NO FRIGGIN’ WAY. I handed those out to my able assistant who had wrangled several more. One was gown length. Another had a very low neckline. I told her, no. She said, “Try them on!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

This went on for close to two hours.

At some point, she brought me a navy blue number with a full skirt, lots of fabric and a very low neckline. I said, “No!” She said, “Try it on!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I tried it on. And I didn’t hate it. What I did hate was that my friend and able assistant was totally right. The dress didn’t look like much on the hanger, but it looked pretty darned cute on me!

Eventually we had it narrowed down to that one and two others. My head was spinning, so we hid them on a rack near the fitting room and went for a walk through the mall, just in case one of the other stores had something I liked better. They didn’t. But while walking, my subconscious kept fixating on that one dress that looked sort of okay on the hanger, but pretty cute on me.

Yes, that’s the one I bought.

This is it.

It’s darker than it shows up in the photo. You’ll have to wait for the Agathas to see it on me, though.

Which brings me to the next conundrum. Shoes! What do you think? Navy? Silver? Beige? And accessories? I’m thinking pearls, but I’m open to suggestions.

HANK:  Oh, black shoes. (My answer to everything, though. No matter what the question.)  And no necklace. Big earrings, instead.  But that's just me.  And I agree on one major thing: always try it on.  
So, fashionistas—what’s the shoe verdict?  And do you watch Project Runway? Say Yes to the Dress?  Why--or why not?


**********************************

Annette Dashofy is the USA Today best-selling author of the Zoe Chambers mystery series about a paramedic and deputy coroner in rural Pennsylvania’s tight-knit Vance Township. CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE, published by Henery Press, was a finalist for the Agatha Award for Best First Novel and for the David Award for Best Mystery of 2014. BRIDGES BURNED has been nominated for the Agatha for Best Contemporary Novel of 2015, and WITH A VENGEANCE, the fourth in the series, will be available this May. 

www.annettedashofy.com

https://www.facebook.com/annette.dashofy/

Annette's Agatha nominee is BRIDGES BURNED---but her new book is:

With a Vengeance

Paramedic Zoe Chambers and the rest of rural Monongahela County’s EMS and fire personnel are used to wading into the middle of trouble to rescue the sick and the injured. But when someone with an ax to grind seeks retribution by staging accident scenes and gunning down the first responders, Zoe finds herself forced to not only treat her own brethren of the front lines, but also, in her role as deputy coroner, seek out whoever is killing her friends.

 At the same time, Vance Township Police Chief Pete Adams races to track down a gun, a mysterious all-terrain vehicle, and the sniper before Zoe goes back on duty, placing herself—and Pete—firmly in the gunman’s crosshairs.

Reality Knocks, But Are We Answering?

HALLIE EPHRON: Are we ready for a  reality show?
The email came from "Casting Catrina" so of course I almost didn't open it. I mean, CASTING CATRINA?? (Sexy Russian woman looking for Mr. Right...)

But the subject line was irresistible:
ABC Casting Contestants for New Mystery Competition Show, "Whodunnit?

For reals (go to ABC.com/Casting to see for yourself), apparently ABC is trawling for a cast for a new competition show where contestants solve mysteries. So they're looking for "amateur sleuths." Prize: $250K. Not too shabby.

As if I'd ever be on a reality competition show. I'm a terrible loser -- I can't even play Scrabble without throwing tiles. And when I win I gloat. These are behaviors I'm happy to say have been shared with relatively few and mostly people who are related to me and it's what they get for badgering me into playing.

Would you ever go on a "reality" (I use the term lightly) competition TV show? And what would the competition be about?
RHYS BOWEN: If I were younger and fitter I would have enjoyed The Amazing Race. It's one of the few reality shows I watch. That, and Project Runway, for which I am in no way qualified. But as for any other reality show--from Survivor to The Bachelorette--no way.

My daughter in the industry says they are scripted to make the best TV (and to make contestants look like mean-spirited fools).

LUCY BURDETTE: That casting call has been all the buzz on the lists I frequent--I know at least 3 mystery writers who have applied. They have to send in a little video and answer questions like: "what sets you apart from everyone else who will be applying?"

No, not for me. I cannot be clever under pressure, as you all may have noticed in the JRW edition Family Feud. And I hate to lose too:)

Which reminds me--our kids (correction, young people--they are in their twenties) were visiting us recently. We are currently most enamored of the game Bananagrams, in which you spell out linked words with 15 to 20 tiles. A, the youngest, suddenly began to win every game. Annoying!

My stepdaughter and I got the idea of giving him all the worst tiles when he was out of the room--the Q's, the Z's, the V's, the J's. We waited and waited for him to complain about his bad luck, but instead he bore down--and won again!

HALLIE: Maybe you should submit HIS name to ABC?!

ROSEMARY HARRIS: Got that email too. This is so not for me. I'm competitive in some areas (Hallie, I would LOVE to play Scrabble with you one of these days..) but being on television holds no interest for me. Anyone remember the movie Reality Bites?

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Now I feel left out! I didn't get the email! But while I wouldn't turn up my nose at the prize, actually winning it would be a little like playing the lottery. And I can't think of many things I'd less rather do than be on a game show. On TV.

Although I loved JRWs Family Feud.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN:  Yeah, I work for NBC so I'm out. Happily. (Because, really, I'd hate to be on it, and then lose. Yeesh.)  I do know people who have gotten a second call for it. And I wish them all the luck! And it could be wonderful publicity.

Is there ANY reality show I'd be willing to be on? Ah. I'd say no.  Still I'd love to know how they really work.

But be warned--we WILL rock the next Bouchercon with another game! (Right?)
JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: I'm game, Hank!(pun intended)

I confess to being pretty snobby about a lot of reality shows. Would I do REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MAINE? No. I doubt America is clamoring to see a group of flannel- and polarplus-clad women discussing the state of their woodpiles and what they scored at Mardens Salvage Warehouse last week.

I'd jump at the chance to participate in one of those ones on The Home channel, or whatever it is, where designers or architects come to your house and redo it. Sign me up! I'll even act dysfunctional and whacky, if required. Also? I confess to a secret love of SAY YES TO THE DRESS. I watch it with my 12-year-old daughter. Don't judge.

HALLIE: The Reds are ready for reality, but is reality ready for us?

Reality Shows invading our language

JAN BROGAN - I had bought a winter jacket on line from one of those discount design houses and I was debating whether to keep it or not. My sister-in-law loved it, my daughter wasn't too sure. She had asked me to take a picture of myself in it and send it to her. Which I did. Her reply, also by text was along the lines of: "Go with your gut.: She added, "it looks like it could be a bit Kardashian-y."

I have never once watched the Kardashians on television, but I knew exactly what she meant. Expensive-looking for the sake of being expensive. A bit over the top. Maybe not appropriate to function. How did I know this? This is the mind boggling part. From the one or two times I've seen Kim Kardashian on the cover of a People Magazine at the allergists? From the one or two times I've flipped through TV stations and caught her image on Entertainment Weekly? It's not that I'm above reading about a celebrity in People, or watching a segment or two on Entertainment Weekly, total sucker for anything Jennifer Aniston, but because I never watch the Kardashian show, I don't ever read the Kardashian news or watch a segment on celebrity TV)keep flipping . So we are talking about very momentary images here.

So I'm wondering, has anyone else experienced new vocabulary, new thoughts or new awareness of reality shows without actually watching them? (THINK of your internal review of Steve Tyler singing the anthem at the Patriots/Ravens playoff game?)

ROSEMARY HARRIS: Sad but true. Every time I see a long-haired brunette who looks a little trashy I think - Kardashian! (including myself) As if it's a species. I've even got my husband saying it now. I've never seen the show either. I think for a while I said "Is that your final answer?" without ever having watched whatever show that came from. These things sneak into the lexicon (and our brains apparently) when we're not looking.

And it isn't that I'm too highbrow either...sitting around enjoying high tea and waiting for the next episode of Downton Abbey. I'm a sucker for Lucky and InStyle, two magazines devoted to hard-hitting journalism. Like the recent issue which compared the Kardashians' closets.(One of them has more Birkin bags than the other.)

DEBORAH CROMBIE: Oh, yes, it's like a disease, isn't it? I've never seen the Kardashians either, but would immediately have gotten the reference. And the tongue-in-cheek Kardashian clone on last week's Castle. My husband is always saying, "How did you know about that?" when he reads about the latest gossipy thing on Facebook. Obviously he doesn't do the grocery shopping! He has, however, started reading Entertainment Weekly magazine (which for some reason we get free,) so he is suddenly au courant. Too funny.

JULIA SPENCER-FLEMING: Ro, you're the CLASSY brunette, not the trashy one. Yes, I'm all too aware of the current reality shows, mostly because (Bad Mother alert) my 11 year old daughter reads ALL those gossip magazines. It's like she's the reincarnation of Hedda Hopper. When we're standing in line at the grocery and I'm staring blankly at pictures of people I don't know, she explains which one is a Teen Mom and which one is a Bachelorette. (Why isn't that show called The Spinster?) I'm aware you can watch people getting hatched, matched, and perhaps even dispatched on television today (if you count getting fried from THE APPRENTICE.) My personal opinion? It's the end of civilization as we know it.

Except for PAWN STARS! I love PAWN STARS.

HANK PHILLIPPI RYAN: Except for PROJECT RUNWAY, right? I truly love that. ANd you know, "Make it work." I was a huge fan of--oh,gosh, I'm telling you this--Survivor, when it first came out. I had a huge blow-up with an acquaintance over it--apparently my fascination with it indicated to him that I was incredibly shallow and not worth talking to. I am not exaggerating.

And even Jonathan says--"You really made it your own." And if you know where THAT comes from...

But it's a bit scary. The guy who's the Harvard Hasty Pudding choice? NO IDEA who he is. SO many people, I have NO IDEA. AND this is what I used to sneer at my mother about.

JAN - Oh Hank, does that mean you did NOT see The new Muppet Movie? Jason Segel (that's the actor getting the Hasty Pudding award) was awesome and I think he even wrote it - which makes him my new favorite hero because I'm a total sucker for the Muppets and even if I wasn't it was a totally uplifting movie, which unlike the reality shows, which as Julia points out,, are bringing down the culture, Jason and the Muppet movie are actually elevating it. But I suppose that's another blog.

RHYS BOWEN: Amen to Project Runway. I confess to having used "The tribe has spoken." I have enjoyed Survivor in the past, but now it's just silly little games. Why not TRUE SURVIVOR? Put people with no food on an island alone (with a few Komodo Dragons, poisonous snakes, sharks in the water) and see how many survive? We might even get a good Lord of the Flies situation which would raise the ratings.

Actually my daughter who is an industry insider says that all reality shows are scripted. They cut and paste dialog mercilessly so that they get drama and the outcome they want. I've never watched any Kardashians. Hate the whole concept of the Bachelor/Bachelorette... and the fact that you'd want to marry any man who is making out with different women every week.

HALLIE EPHRON: I'm sure I'm dating myself here, but whenever I see a long haired brunette who looks a little trashy I think Tiny Tim.

The only reality (ha ha) show I watch is Project Runway ("One day you're in, and the next day you're out.") Totally hooked. I'd be in the Tim Gunn fan club if I knew how to join. And I do occasionally want to "vote" someone "off the island" even though I've never seen whatever show that comes from.

JAN: I think I'm the only one on JR who is NOT a Project Runway fan, so I know nothing about the language there. How about everyone else? What reality show vocabulary has invaded your language? Or made itself into a handy adjective?

Are You a Closet Fashionista?

ROSEMARY: I have a confession to make - I'm a closet fashionista. Chalk it up to all those summers of waiting for the September issue of Seventeen Magazine to arrive on the newstands. (I'm showing my age here, but what the heck.)

Thick as a brick, inside its covers all my schoolgirl fantasies came alive, in living color - coordinated, of course. The cute outfit I'd wear as I climbed the stage in the school auditorium to receive an award (in the daydream it was never clear what my particular area of expertise was.) The fetching ensemble my football hero boyfriend would see from the field as he carried the ball into the endzone, me cheering in the stands like Ali McGraw.

Needless to say, that's not what happened. By the time I got to high school I didn't care what I wore as long as I looked thin and my hair was straight. (Mercifully I had good skin.)
That said...call it "the memories" or the ancient rituals of primitive tribes, but, every fall I'm once again drawn to the fat,glossy magazines filled with pictures of gaunt young girls wearing clothing I will probably never wear. Why do I do it?

The editors breathlessly announce leather,tweed and boots will be in fashion this fall and winter. And animal prints. What concepts! Brilliant! Camel hair coats! Who knew? So why do I keep plunking down cash for these things every year? Is it the promise that maybe this time I'll be one of the cool kids? Not really. I'll resurrect the few things I already own that are temporarily in fashion, and then either forget to wear them or feel stupid for trying to be "in fashion."

As anyone who's ever seen me knows, nine times out of ten I'll be wearing a black jacket with jeans or black pants. A friend called last week to ask what I was wearing to the funeral of another friend's mother - I thought about it.."Oh, I'll probably wear black pants." We both burst out laughing. Last year there was a flood in my apartment and I had to take everything out of one closet. The stuff just kept coming..like clowns out of a tiny car. I had forty-seven black jackets (that's not counting the ones I bought this year.) And nothing noticably fashionable. Almost everything could have been bought twenty years ago and much of it was. So what's up with the fashion magazines? Is there a name and a support group for this? Please tell me I'm not alone.

HANK: Oh, me, me. The big fall VOGUE? Irresistible. (I read it for the articles, of course.) It's so glossy and gorgeous. INSTYLE, too, now that Rosemary is getting me to confess.

ROSEMARY: I can top that - LUCKY MAGAZINE? I can't miss an issue. Love it.

HANK: VOGUE is essentially incomprehensible, clothes-wise, because there is NOTHING in it a real person could ever wear. But you know, my mother taught me about it, yes, sitting at her knee. I remember saying--but Mom, this stuff is so weird! She said honey, you're not supposed to wear what's in VOGUE, you're just supposed to get ideas. (She'd be so embarrassed if she heard that's what I remember of her advice...sigh.)

RO: What IS Audrey wearing on her head? She should have listened to your mother.

HANK: And this time of year is so wonderful for clothes, sweaters and scarves and, yes, boots. Talk about confessions. I just got grey suede ankle booties with really high heels and a ruffle around the ankle. Will I EVER wear them? Well, actually, they go with everything...
(And oh-oh. I bet this is gonna illustrate how we JRW's do not all think alike... :-) )

ROSEMARY: I don't think so...I just bought black suede booties with a ruffle on the top. For the grey ones I kept it simple, just a side zip. Your mother was (is)brilliant.

JAN: Rosemary, I am definitely guilty as charged as a fashionista. New clothes and especially boots are my vulnerability I used to love Fashion Dos and Don'ts in Glamour magazine. I loved the part where they had to put a black stamp over the person's face to protect their identity because they had committed such a fashion faux pas.

But I'm afraid that as soon as I had my daughter to raise, I started to view all fashion magazines, and pretty much all fashion designers as the enemy. After I once saw a Prada ad in In Style, that featured an anorexic teenager in a bra and a FREAKING diaper (I kid you not) under a trench coat - I threw the magazine across the room. I still hiss at it whenever I see it at the hairdressers and won't buy anything from Prada - not even a knockoff - to this day.

HALLIE: I truly detest clothes that look like 'fashion.' As long as it comes in black, is machine washable, fits, doesn't make me look like a blimp, and is at least 30 percent off, I'm good to go.
So why am I addicted to Project Runway? It's so not the clothes. I guess it's my version of Vogue.

RHYS: Okay, confession--I'm another Project Runway addict. What I do is go for a look I like and about every ten years what I like is fashionable. I just watched the fall collections from Europe and they said neutral colors, beiges, flowing, soft... and I thought hey, that's me. And last year I found an incredible camel coat on sale so I will be so fashionable this winter. But I refuse to wear dresses with a waist at my boobs and a hemline at mid thigh. I think one reaches an age at which knees should not be shown, however cute they are. As long as Ralph Lauren stays alive, I'll be okay.

ROSEMARY: Yes, black and on sale. I've never watched Project Runway but I did have a brief flirtation with What Not To Wear. I was flying from San Francisco to NYC one and the guy from WNTW got on the plane..I swear I th0ught he was coming for me..I had a friend who was threatening to stage an intervention because she said I wore too much black. Rhys..there's always opaque pantyhose for those knees.

So we can be serious writers and still want gray suede booties...I feel so much better!

Stop by tomorrow for True Crime Tuesday when I recall the time I met the chimp responsible for the horrific attack on a Connecticut woman last year.

Everyone needs a bad guy!

JAN: I admit that I was lured in at first. Even though I wasn't a fan of Donald Trump, I gave the first couple of seasons of The Apprentice a shot and liked it. Not only did I gain respect for the Donald, I also learned some interesting marketing lessons.

It might have been my third season of The Apprentice when I realized that Omarosa, the villain, was being coached to say nasty things. And that the director had to be encouraging all the other contestants to hate her. And after that, I saw it in every reality show, from America's Top Model (viewed with my daughter against my will) to Joe Millionaire to Project Runway. It didn't matter what contestants were competing for, the whole point was to see them break bad. They became catty. And underhanded. And there was always someone, like Omarosa, who was the worst.

According to Psyblog, a blog that collects research about how our minds work, (www.spring.org.uk) reality shows make good use of narcissists in the cast. Apparently, we just can't help being drawn to a narcissist's self-absorbed and arrogant behavior. They tend to be confidant, fashionable and witty We are fascinated by their entitled behavior.

At first.

Quickly we come to despise them. Contestants and TV viewers alike. And we want to see them "knocked down," and get whats coming to them. It all makes for great TV.

So do you think bad behavior is the appeal of Reality Shows? And if so, why? Are these people just strangely charming, or do they somehow make us feel better about ourselves??

RHYS: An insider told me that they are scripted just like any TV drama. Lines are cut and used out of context to hint at fights that never happened. Look at The Bachelor or Bachelorette when the most likely candidate for his heart suddenly has to go away or lose her job. Yeah, right. The only difference between TV drama and reality shows is that the latter are playing with pe

ople's lives and psyches. I suppose if they pick narcissists and unpleasant people then they deserve what happens to them. Actually I'm a fan of The Amazing Race, which is often won by nice and genuine people, and, I have to confess, Project Runway which is a fascinating insight into the creative process.

I think we watch, hoping that the unpleasant people get what they deserve. What I find fascinati

ng is that The Truman Show foreshadowed exactly what is happening in real life.

RO: I really do need to see The Truman Show again..this is the third time it's come up in a week. I was on St. John last week and stayed at a resort which had kayaks for guests, but only if they stayed in the small bay right near the hotel. We'd just come back from 5 days of kayaking all over the BVI and thought it was ridiculous to have to stay in one small area as if it was the kiddie pool. We watched one guy take a kayak out and ..it was like the The Truman Show..it was as if there was an invisible screen making him return to shore. Too funny. But I digress.

About a million years ago there was something called The Louds: An American Family on public television. I barely remember it..will have to google, but it followed this middle class family and I think the daughter wanted to be a dancer..and it turned out that the son

was gay, and that was a big thing in the 70's, and then the couple split up. I have not felt the need to watch another reality show since then.

HANK: Oh, I rmember the Louds. Here's the thing about reality TV. It's NOT live. So some producer has taken hours and hours of video, and edited it into one hour. Do you know how easy it is to make that one hour into anything you wnat? And also--the producers know the end result. So they put the puzzle pieces of the show together to make the most interesting or conflict-ridden 45 minutes leading up to the end. The end that they KNOW will happen. See? So we're being completely manipulated along the way.

That said (anyone see that episode of ..was it Curb?) that's the reason I think its fun to watch s

ome of these shows. Rhys, yes, I love Amazing Race (it's almost--inspirational, and you can pretend it's educational) and I love Project Runway (so creative! and I love fashion, and I'm hyper-competitive anyway).

But what makes it the most fun is that the editors know how the shows turn out.

ROBERTA: Hank, that's such an interesting description of how the shows are made. Doesn't it sound something like what we do as we're writing novels? (I mean the most conflict we can imagine...)

I watch NO reality TV. I may be the only one in America. We were watching the Olympics last night and kept seeing the ad for Jerry Seinfeld's upcoming show, in which TV stars intervene in couples' fights. How bizarre is that?? At least Dr. Phil has a little bit of training in the field:)

HALLIE: Oh, I remember the Louds. That was before they figured out how to pare down to the conflict. And of course there were Andy Warhol movies like "Sleep" where his camera watches

some poet sleep for 6 hours.

Like Rhys, I watch is Project Runway and I am completely addicted to it. And my daughter got me hooked on So You Think You Can Dance.

JAN: Lannie and I watched So you "Think you Can Dance," which was "Vous croyez vous pouvez danser" in Aix en Provence last summer because it was the only thing we could follow in French. (They dubbed over the English but competition is the same in any language). My French skills weren't strong enough to pick up any inter-contestant sniping. But I also couldn't always figure out why one contestant was so much better than the other.

On fashion disasters

I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch. ~Gilda Radner


ROBERTA: I know we have very serious concerns in our world, but we can't think about big problems all the time! Hence, fashion disasters...

A few weeks ago I overheard Hank talking enthusiastically with another writer about “Project Runway,” a fashion reality show. I went to check out their website and learned that the show is already in its fifth season. And that about sums up my knack for fashion. By the time I’ve converted to shoulder pads and puffed sleeves, the well-dressed woman is outfitted in pencil skirts and tuxedo blouses. Frilly girl dresses in style? I’m wearing pinstriped man suits and those stupid silk bow ties that were in vogue in the eighties. I’ve had to come to terms with the facts: I’ll never be on the cutting edge. And part of the problem is that comfort always trumps trendiness when I’m shopping. Anything tight, abrasive, or even with an itchy tag—forget it. An old friend recently sent a photo from my days in Tennessee in the late 70’s. I went to grad school dressed in these overalls—this is what we call a fashion disaster. And now we are ready to hear about yours.

JAN: Cutting edge isn't always a good thing. I bought this shearling coat from the window of a chic Newbury Street store -- with the proceeds from the first big feature I sold to Boston Magazine. (Literally, I was walking back from the BM office and the check burned a hole through my purse.) When my mother first saw me in this coat, she rolled her eyes and asked if I was trying to look homeless. I chalked it up to her lack of fashion sense. A few years later when we were going to an evening event, my husband, who rarely comments on my outfits, asked if I would please wear any other coat but that one. Again, what did he know about fashion? Finally a couple of years ago, my daughter confided she thought the coat was the ugliest thing she'd ever seen. She'd actually been photographed and named the most fashionable girl on her college campus, so I had to listen. Or maybe it was the rule of threes. Anyway, it's still in my closet, but won't be making an appearance this season.

RO: This is hard for me. Not because I'm so fabulously stylish, but I feel like I've been wearing the same things since the fourth grade. Different lengths, tight, baggy, low rise, high waist, I probably have a hundred pairs of black pants and just as many black tops and jackets. I friend actually told me I was starting to look like Johnny Cash a few years back so I've tried to integrate some color into my wardrobe (hence the red fishnets last weekend.) Problem is, that's not what I usually reach for when I get dressed. Every season I buy a few magazines and tell myself that this year I'm going to look a little spiffier. Never really happens, but I keep buying the magazines.

Last year I was on a flight from San Francisco to New York and the guy from What Not to Wear got on the plane. I swear, I thought my friend had set me up.

I did have a pretty excruciating perm in the 80's but mercifully no pictures survive.

This is my fourth grade picture (I think..) A black and gray blouse that I wore as often as my mother would let me. I'd wear it today if I still had it. It was cute. And I wore that headband, or something like it for about a year. Pretty hideous.


HALLIE: I am a huge Project Runway fan, but geeze Louise, I wish they’d deep-sixed Kenley. Talk about annoying and quel cloying, deja vue fashion sense. On the other hand, our waitress last night at the Ashmont Grill was wearing a red leather flower on a strap around her head, a la Kenley. With her baggy red South Boston T-shirt and jeans, I thought it looked pretty silly.

But I’m hardly one to talk—I was wearing black sweatpants and a bright orange zip-up sweatshirt hoodie. Celebrating early Halloween? It was cold! Still, not a fashion statement worth repeating.

Hey, I remember when we wore overalls. And later parachute-material jump suits (I had one in turquoise which was, as I recall, adorable).

Here’s me on vacation in purples and pinks—that was the decade when we tucked in our shirts. My favorite part is the sunglasses stuck over the babushka.

HANK: Rosemary! You were absolutely darling. You all are. And that attitude is so Jan. No nonsense.

Ah, well, you got me here. I spent lots of my teenaged years drawing fashion designs. I really wanted to be a designer, of some kind, though if I remember my drawings at all, the clothes were more suited to Barbies than real people. Think: mermaid skirts. I had Cyd Charisse paper dolls, and loved to cut out the clothes and tab them on.

When I was 15, I think, I cut my hair in an asymmetrical Vidal Sasson, up over one ear. I thought I was so mod. My mother never recovered. (Imagine! You walk into your bathroom and your daughter has hacked off half her hair. That's how she saw it, at least.) Blue eyeshadow, Cleopatra eyeliner. I do wish I had a photo. But, alas, no. And I ALWAYS got sent home from school for having my skirts too short. Once was with a white lace dress and white lace stockings. I was SO mod.

Anyway, now I'm on TV, and have to be kind of careful. And in the past, actually, until maybe 10 years ago, that has resulted in my "look" being a bit--prim. Don't I look like a dorm counselor here? With kind of Farrah hair. And oh yeah, my hair is brown. Imagine that. This is from 1976. (And I still have that blouse. Which, ta dah, is now back in style. And the pearls)

And um, I like Kenley. Yes, her voice is annoying. But she's really talented.

ROBERTA: Oh good job with the pix this week ladies! I think you all look cute. And Hallie, I remember wearing exactly those colors--I had a pink blouse and a maroon skirt that I was so proud of...

On fashion disasters

I base most of my fashion sense on what doesn't itch. ~Gilda Radner

ROBERTA: I know we have very serious concerns in our world, but we can't think about big problems all the time! Hence, fashion disasters...

A few weeks ago I overheard Hank talking enthusiastically with another writer about “Project Runway,” a fashion reality show. I went to check out their website and learned that the show is already in its fifth season. And that about sums up my knack for fashion. By the time I’ve converted to shoulder pads and puffed sleeves, the well-dressed woman is outfitted in pencil skirts and tuxedo blouses. Frilly girl dresses in style? I’m wearing pinstriped man suits and those stupid silk bow ties that were in vogue in the eighties. I’ve had to come to terms with the facts: I’ll never be on the cutting edge. And part of the problem is that comfort always trumps trendiness when I’m shopping. Anything tight, abrasive, or even with an itchy tag—forget it. An old friend recently sent a photo from my days in Tennessee in the late 70’s. I went to grad school dressed in these overalls—this is what we call a fashion disaster. And now we are ready to hear about yours.

JAN: Cutting edge isn't always a good thing. I bought this shearling coat from the window of a chic Newbury Street store -- with the proceeds from the first big feature I sold to Boston Magazine. (Literally, I was walking back from the BM office and the check burned a hole through my purse.) When my mother first saw me in this coat, she rolled her eyes and asked if I was trying to look homeless. I chalked it up to her lack of fashion sense. A few years later when we were going to an evening event, my husband, who rarely comments on my outfits, asked if I would please wear any other coat but that one. Again, what did he know about fashion? Finally a couple of years ago, my daughter confided she thought the coat was the ugliest thing she'd ever seen. She'd actually been photographed and named the most fashionable girl on her college campus, so I had to listen. Or maybe it was the rule of threes. Anyway, it's still in my closet, but won't be making an appearance this season. PHOTO TO COME

RO: This is hard for me. Not because I'm so fabulously stylish, but I feel like I've been wearing the same things since the fourth grade. Different lengths, tight, baggy, low rise, high waist, I probably have a hundred pairs of black pants and just as many black tops and jackets. I friend actually told me I was starting to look like Johnny Cash a few years back so I've tried to integrate some color into my wardrobe. Probably is, that's not what I reach for when I get dressed. Every season I buy a few magazines and tell myself that this year I'm going to look a little spiffier. Never really happens, but I keep buying the magazines. Last year I was on a flight from San Francisco to New York and the guy from What Not to Wear got on the plane. I swear, I thought my friend had set me up.

I did have a pretty excruciating perm in the 80's but mercifully no pictures survive.

This is my fourth grade picture. A black and gray blouse that I wore as often as my mother would let me. I'd wear it today if I still had it. It was cute. And I wore that headband, or something like it for about a year. Pretty hideous.


HALLIE: I am a huge Project Runway fan, but geeze Louise, I wish they’d deep-sixed Kenley. Talk about annoying and quel cloying, deja vue fashion sense. On the other hand, our waitress last night at the Ashmont Grill was wearing a red leather flower on a strap around her head, a la Kenley. With her baggy red South Boston T-shirt and jeans, I thought it looked pretty silly.

But I’m hardly one to talk—I was wearing black sweatpants and a bright orange zip-up sweatshirt hoodie. Celebrating early Halloween? It was cold! Still, not a fashion statement worth repeating.

Hey, I remember when we wore overalls. And later parachute-material jump suits (I had one in turquoise which was, as I recall, adorable).

Here’s me on vacation in purples and pinks—that was the decade when we tucked in our shirts. My favorite part is the sunglasses stuck over the babushka.

HANK: Rosemary! You were absolutely darling. You all are. And that attitude is so Jan. No nonsense.

Ah, well, you got me here. I spent lots of my teenaged years drawing fashion designs. I really wanted to be a designer, of some kind, though if I remember my drawings at all, the clothes were more suited to Barbies than real people. Think: mermaid skirts. I had Cyd Charisse paper dolls, and loved to cut out the clothes and tab them on.

When I was 15, I think, I cut my hair in an asymmetrical Vidal Sasson, up over one ear. I thought I was so mod. My mother never recovered. (Imagine! You walk into your bathroom and your daughter has hacked off half her hair. That's how she saw it, at least.) Blue eyeshadow, Cleopatra eyeliner. I do wish I had a photo. But, alas, no. And I ALWAYS got sent home from school for having my skirts too short. Once was with a white lace dress and white lace stockings. I was SO mod.

Anyway, now I'm on TV, and have to be kind of careful. And in the past, actually, until maybe 10 years ago, that has resulted in my "look" being a bit--prim. Don't I look like a dorm counselor here? With kind of Farrah hair. And oh yeah, my hair is brown. Imagine that. This is from 1976. (And I still have that blouse. Which, ta dah, is now back in style. And the pearls)

And um, I like Kenley. Yes, her voice is annoying. But she's really talented.

ROBERTA: Oh good job with the pix this week ladies! I think you all look cute. And Hallie, I remember wearing exactly those colors--I had a pink blouse and a maroon skirt that I was so proud of...