Yet another adaptation of the Alexandre Dumas classic Three Muskateers, however this tale came with way too much modernization for my taste. Flying battle ships, automatic cannon launchers, and tricked out vaults were just a few of the technological feats that were only a necessity because the story needed something more to make anyone care long enough to stay in their seat the full running time. I felt that from the trailer there was a desire to make this a larger than life visual extravaganza, with the wide and aerial views of the French and English landscapes, along with the huge explosions the viewer was supposed to be amazed. The only amazing thing that I found was that the only way to remember that we were experiencing a story in Paris, France is that the characters kept mentioning it, otherwise with all the varying accents it was easy to forget where the story was taking place, I don't recall one person speaking with a French accent or even interjecting a bit of French for some authenticity, not once. And don't even get me started on the ridiculously constructed chance meeting of D'artangnan (Logan Lerman) and the Muskateers. I have to admit that I found The Duke of Buckingham (Orlando Bloom) to be delightful, he was a balanced mix of charm and cunning. But what the heck was going on with King Louis the XIII (Freddie Fox), a fashionisto? No one seemed to be immune to the whiles of MiLady de Winter (Milla Jovavich) and you just get the feeling that she is the only woman in the world with an adventurous side, she was everywhere. All I could think of while watching this film was, this is the stupidest Three Muskateers story ever. I love movies, I love action in movies, I love classic tales, and I love fashion in any context, but I did not love this film dare say I did not much like it, it should have stuck with a character driven tale of heroism, side stepping the over the top presentation and preoccupation with fashion. My preference is the classic take on the story, the cleverness and quick wit of the Muskateers, their exceptional fencing ability and their keen sense of loyalty to the thrown as they work to mentor D'artangnan has always been enough. Don't bastardize a classic, make your film and call it Swashbuckling or something else. The story did not require 3-D, and it did not require my presence in the movie theater. I give it a red light.
