- [as the nightclub gets raided by cops]
- Elmo: Aw, fuck... Can't a brother just deal some GODDAMN DRUGS?
- Elmo: [explaining his new drug to Durant] MDMA utilizes Serotonin. Opiates, like heroin, utilize dopamine. Sort of like the same sensation you get after sex. Amphetamines increase adrenaline. And cocaine gets those synapses in the brains firing really fast. My product is 51 times stronger than cocaine, 51 times more hallucinogenic than acid, and 51 times more explosive than ecstasy. It's like getting a personal visit... from God!
- Durant: It's that good?
- [first lines]
- Elmo: I mean, rules are like, arbitrary, you know. Made up for people who believe in fairy tales like, you know, like Santa Claus. Hey, but not us, right? I mean, we know what's important. There's a war going on, man. A war. Ain't that a bitch?
- [cop sucks his teeth]
- Elmo: I just graduated today, man. With honors. Got my degree in pharmacology. I'm licensed. Look, if you write me up on this drug charge, I won't be able to practice. So what we're talking about here is, is my life. The rest of it.
- [cop lights joint, takes one hit, then discards it]
- L.A. Highway Patrol: The Sixties are over... MAN!
- Elmo: Ain't that always the way? Elevator music, a nigger in a kilt, and a chick with a nickel-plated nine.
- Felix: [after Elmo arrives to the airport, opening the trunk of the car and there's the dead chemist] Arrgh, What's this?
- Frederick: It's Lawrence!
- Felix: I see it's Lawrence, but what happened?
- Frederick: You told me to take care of him.
- Felix: Ah, shit! I meant to take care of him, not fuckin' take care of him!
- Felix: Listen to this, I'm in fucking Florida, right. This southern prat comes up and he's like, uh, "Hey! England's small. You must know that John Fuckin' Smith guy, right?" Fucking Smith. I'm like, "oh yeah, yeah mate. That's right. John Smith, yeah, I do know him, but, uh, he doesn't come from England mate, no, he comes from fucking"
- Felix, Frederick: Pricksville, USA.
- Detective Virgil Kane: Now, aren't you the clever little chunky monkey?
- Arthur: You keep banging on about my weight. Now you are crossing the line.
- Detective Virgil Kane: Arthur, it was a joke. It was a joke. Smile. Smile.
- Detective Virgil Kane: [Arthur smiles] You fat cunt.
- Iki: What is chemistry but the ability to attract adoration in others. You see, you're like me, Mr. McElroy. You're a sky-high-etrist, I'm a sky-high-etrist. See, I always knew I'd be a drug dealer, even when I was a kid. I saw me dad hit me mother, me mother hit me brother, me brother hit me sister, and me sister fuck me father. So I suppose it's inevitable, really. I mean, you'd have to be on drugs just to live in that madhouse, wouldn't you?
- The Lizard: It ain't often that a blowed-up motherfucker gets to chat to the motherfucker that blowed him up!
- Elmo: You got that right. Usually, the blowed-up motherfucker has the courtesy to stay blowed up.
- The Lizard: I'll try to be more accommodating next time, Elmo.
- Elmo: Ain't that always the way. Elevator playing music, a nigga in a kilt, and a chick with a nickel-plated nine.
- Elmo: [crowd cheers him as he talks] 40 years ago a rock and roll revolution started in this town. Tonight we are going to start a new revolution. One that will rock and roll your senses and you are my test pilots. So let's get ready to party! You are going to kiss the sun and taste the motherfucking rainbow! Are you ready? Are you ready?
- Iki: Mr Kane, is it that time of the month already? I thought you weren't due till next week, you eager beaver.
- Felix: Fucking yanks. The trouble with the fucking yanks is, they've no fucking sense. I had some dick in Los Angeles actually ask me where I learned English. English, fuck!
- Felix: Look, I'm dyin' for a smoke. You haven't any ciggies, have ya?
- Pharmacist: Sorry. Cigarettes are bad for your health.
- Felix: Yeah. So's a FUCKING PUNCH TO THE THROAT, MATE! I need fucking nicotine now!
- Pharmacist: There's no reason to shout at me. I'm Pakistani, not deaf.
- Detective Virgil Kane: What else you got?
- Arthur: Six dead bodies and one live one. Chief, it's Leopold Durant.
- Detective Virgil Kane: Durant? Right, now concentrate, Arthur. Get that fat fuck down here pronto.
- Arthur: But sir, he's dying.
- Detective Virgil Kane: Then you'd better be fucking quick about it, hadn't you?
- Detective Virgil Kane: This city has gone from a peaceful, fun-loving utopia to an all-out fucking war zone. And I, Virgil Kane, I want to know why. Nobody cuts me out of anything in this parochial pisshole.
- Detective Virgil Kane: You fuck me, and I'm gonna have you on your hands and your knees with your ass in the air exposing your rusty sheriff's badge for the next twenty years.
- Felix: Boys and girls of Manchester! Just popped over from Liverpool to invite you to a game of footy tomorrow afternoon. But I'm fucking fucked if you pricks are gonna win it!
- The Lizard: [Elmo's cell phone message] He fucked me. I'm truly ass-invaded.
- [exploson in backround]
- Elmo: Rest In Peace
- [opens the window and throws phone away]
- Elmo: Motherfucker.
- The Lizard: [over the cell phone] You fucked me. I'm truly ass-invaded!
- [explosion in background]
- Elmo: Rest In Peace,
- [throws cell phone out the window]
- Elmo: motherfucker.
- Hector Dougal McElroy: Well, I can tell you that's the first time that's been seen on the 18th green.