Jennifer Lopez is in love, and she’s not afraid to admit it—or, as fans around the world now know, belt it from the rooftops. “Could you be the one without a doubt? Could I be for your keepin’?” she crooned at a concert in Minneapolis the night before the Super Bowl, where she debuted her newest song, the aptly titled “Us.” During the performance, which took place on her one-year anniversary of dating former New York Yankees star Alex Rodriguez, she treated the crowd to a personal serenade. “I don’t want to get all mushy or anything,” she said, locking eyes with him in the crowd. “But, baby, this song’s for you. I love you.”
When Lopez first heard the lyrics to the song, written by Poo Bear and produced by Skrillex, she says she felt a visceral connection. “They played me about 20 different songs, and when I heard this one I was like, ‘Oh, this is relevant!’ Alex and I were just getting to know each other. And I was like, ‘Oh, my God, could this be? Could this be us?’ ” Neither the song—nor the joy on Lopez’s face as she delivered the dedication—did much to quell the engagement rumors that have swirled around the couple since they went public with their relationship last spring. Asked whether she would consider tying the knot again, she chooses her words carefully. “I do believe in marriage,” she says. “And I would love to grow old with somebody in a committed relationship. But I’m not forcing anything right now. It’s good, it’s healthy; we communicate well. We understand each other’s lives in a way that most other people couldn’t. We both entered the public eye in our early 20s and overachieved right from the start. And that affects every dynamic in your life, from your family to your work to your relationships. We have a similar makeup.”
Rumors aside, it’s clear within five minutes of meeting Lopez that she is living her best life—albeit a busy one: Sure, she is in love—with A Rod and, of course, ten-year-old twins Max and Emme, but she is also a major entertainment powerhouse, making millions as a singer, actor and producer. Her last movie, 2015's Boy Next Door raked in $52 million (with a mere $4 million investment) while her three TV shows—The Fosters (on Freeform), NBC's Shades of Blue and World of Dance—are multi-season hits with World of Dance breaking records for viewership (the second season begins May 29). She has also just finished producing and starring in a comedy, Second Act (two more films, with women directors at the helm, are also in the works). And let’s not forget Vegas. This year, she will perform in 40 more shows as part of her three-year All I Have residency at Planet Hollywood (in August, she grossed an unprecedented $1 million for a single show). She doesn’t get enough credit for everything she does, especially the producing part, says Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, her producing partner of 14 years. “I know there are lists we weren't on and we don't publicize [our successes]. But, she says, the time has come to “stand in truth the truth of what we are doing because it will empower all women, especially women of color.”
Lopez, for one, isn’t complaining. “My life is full of loving and joyful people, and my workplace is filled with adventure,’” she says, quoting one of her favorite affirmations. The multi-hyphenate, who repeats mantras like this to herself throughout the day, swears by the power of positive thinking. Of course, when it comes to pulling off the three-ring circus that is the life of a singer-dancer-actress-producer-mother, relentless optimism can take a girl only so far. There are, after all, practical issues to be taken care of, like when does one find time for dinner?
“Do you mind if I eat?” Lopez asks about 10 minutes into our interview. It’s 9:30 on a Friday night and she has just returned to her French-country-style Bel Air estate after a long day of rehearsing for upcoming shows. The decor of her home can best be described as a cross between Restoration Hardware and Norman Vincent Peale (or, in her case, Louise Hay, one of her favorite motivational authors). In a den area near the kitchen, no fewer than eight linen pillows imprinted with affirmations, bronze sculptures, ceramic trays, and wooden wall hangings vie for attention: no limits but the sky; life is short, live your dream. And one of her personal favorites, i am youthful and timeless at every age. Lopez, whose taut, dewy skin belies her 48 years, seems to have found the fountain of youth—and isn’t above having it embroidered on a pillow. “I know it’s funny,” she says with a laugh. “The affirmations are everywhere. I forget that they’re all here. They’re just part of the house now.”
Giggles notwithstanding, Lopez is dead serious about those mantras. “Affirmations are so important,” she says earnestly. “I am youthful and timeless. I tell myself that every day, a few times a day. It sounds like clichéd bullshit, but it’s not: Age is all in your mind. Look at Jane Fonda.” (Later, Rodriguez will offer another clue to her agelessness. “She really leans in to the big fundamentals, like getting her rest, eight to 10 hours. She doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke. She lives a very clean life.”)
After the security guard who escorted Lopez inside disappears down the hall, she tosses a log onto the fire, and another member of her staff quietly enters the room bearing a trayful of savory, home-cooked Latin food. “When I first moved to L.A., I called home and I was like, ‘Mommy, I miss your cooking,’ ” she recalls, as she hunches over a steaming plate of chuletas, fried pork chops with white rice and vegetables. “I asked her to show me how to make the recipes, so she taught me over the phone.”
Enjoying a home-cooked meal—even one she doesn’t have time to prepare herself—helps keep Lopez sane. “This shit is hard work,” says the multi-hyphenate, who, besides her many live performances, juggles two TV series (Shades of Blue and World of Dance, both of which she stars in and serves as an executive producer) and produces films and TV shows (she is a cofounder of Nuyorican Productions). “We don’t have a normal life,” she explains. “I travel all the time. When I have a show, I get home late, usually around midnight.” This week, Max and Emme are with their dad, so she’s putting in longer hours than usual. Indeed, as she polishes off the last of her pork chops around 10, she is still dressed in her dancing gear: high-waisted gray leggings, a cropped turtleneck, black Nike sneakers, and large silver hoop earrings.
And yet for someone who has spent the better part of the day sailing across a stage on her knees, Lopez looks remarkably fresh-faced and radiant. In the next room, a flower arrangement the size of a small fridge makes it clear why. Tucked into the massive bouquet of pink roses, calla lilies, and orchids, a note reads: “Thinking of you. Missing you. Love you. Besos XX Macho 13” (Rodriguez’s Yankees number). Lopez, it seems, finally has it all: true happiness in both her personal and professional lives. “When I was younger I spent a lot of time being half happy and half not happy,” she says. The difference now? “I know who I am and what I want. I also know my strengths and weaknesses. It took me a long time to get to a point where I could say something nice about myself. I’m glad I can do that now.”
The list of her strengths may seem obvious, but Lopez happily recites them: “Great performer, great actress, great producer,” she says, sitting back on a white linen chair with her legs crossed and her arms open. “Most importantly, a great mother, great sister, and a great girlfriend. I’ve also been a great wife.” Though she considers herself shy (“I’m not the kind of person who goes up to everybody at a party and says hi. I’m not a networker. I’ve always just kept my nose to the grindstone”), she admits that she tends to dominate conversations. “I know I need to pull back and listen more.” She also has a tiny problem with overscheduling. “I’m a workaholic,” Lopez says bluntly. “My instinct is to fill every single minute of my life with work, so I’ve had to learn balance. When you take on too much, that can be the enemy of great.” On the last point, Rodriguez begs to differ: She may be a perfectionist, he says, but that quality is part of the magic that sets her apart from everyone else. “I watched her singing and dancing and practicing until one in the morning the other night,” he says, when called the day before her pre–Super Bowl concert. “She kept saying, ‘Let’s run through it again.’ I think I heard her say that 45 times. Her thirst for perfection is just awesome to watch.” So what drives all that fierce energy? “I’m not one of those media darlings,” Lopez says. “I didn’t get kissed into this business. I’m from the Bronx. I had to find my way, so I’ve always felt like I had to prove myself. Maybe that’s a good drive to have. I never settle for mediocre.”
Lopez has also poured a considerable amount of that relentless determination into charitable efforts close to her heart. “Once you have kids, the whole world changes,” she says. “You get scared for their future, and you want to set a good example.” In addition to donating $1 million to help rebuild Puerto Rico after last year’s devastating hurricane, Lopez hosted a benefit telethon with Rodriguez and Marc Anthony that raised more than $35 million for disaster relief. She also delivered a powerful speech in support of the Time’s Up movement in Puerto Rico earlier this year. Asked if she ever experienced sexual harassment in Hollywood herself, she pauses thoughtfully. “I haven’t been abused in the way some women have. But have I been told by a director to take off my shirt and show my boobs? Yes, I have. But did I do it? No, I did not.” Lopez, who acknowledges the fine line that actresses have had to walk to speak up without jeopardizing their prospects, adds: “When I did speak up, I was terrified. I remember my heart beating out of my chest, thinking, ‘What did I do? This man is hiring me!’ It was one of my first movies. But in my mind I knew the behavior wasn’t right. It could have gone either way for me. But I think ultimately the Bronx in me was like, ‘Nah, we’re not having it.’ ”
Thankfully, these days Lopez is calling the shots in her career by herself. And Rodriguez is right by her side, happy to play cheerleader to his alpha girlfriend (while he enters a new chapter as a TV sports analyst and investor). Despite the high-profile nature of both of their jobs, Lopez and Rodriguez are the picture of wholesome domesticity: lots of workouts (“I’ve never been to so many yoga classes in my life!” she says); long snuggles in bed with their blended family (Rodriguez has two daughters, Natasha, 13, and Ella, nine, with ex-wife Cynthia Scurtis); and cozy nights in cooking Latin recipes handed down from Lopez’s mom. Rodriguez has said that he and Lopez are like twins, and lately they’ve even been speaking their own type A, overachieving patois. “He sports-metaphors me to death, and now I do it to everyone else,” says Lopez, who regularly runs with Rodriguez and swears she can beat him. (“He and his friends laugh at me, but in my head I really believe I can.”) “Baseball is just like life,” she adds. “All you want to do is hit a home run.”
One can’t help but wonder if somewhere out there is a wedding plate just waiting to be hand-painted with that message.
This article originally appears in the April 2018 issue of Harper's Bazaar, available on newsstands March 27.
Male Model: Pietro Boselli; Hair: Chris Appleton; Makeup: Scott Barnes; Manicure: Kimmie Kyees for Gelish; Production: Joey Battaglia for Rosco Production; Set Design: Gille Mills. Shot on location at TenTen Wilshire in Downtown Los Angeles.
