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THE THING ABOUT Sex After 60 is...
Talking about sex may still be considered taboo by some (trust us, we know), but talking about sex over the age of 60? In a culture that says sex appeal has an expiration date, it’s practically unheard of. But today’s 60+ crowd is vibrant, unapologetic, and ready to change all that—and thankfully, it seems like society is finally ready to listen too. Here, we’ve tapped actors, activists, influencers, and experts ages 60 through 95 to tell us what it is in particular about their sex lives that people often misunderstand or get plain wrong. The result is a rich tapestry of diverse perspectives—some funny, some raw, all of them honest—that have historically been ignored.
From soft, sweet lovemaking to discovering a new world of multiple orgasms, the thing about sex after 60 is that there’s no singular, universal experience. Whether it’s liberating or isolating, cheeky or sincere, partnered or solo, one thing is clear: It’s definitely still happening. Empowering, elusive, creative, and downright orgasmic…these responses paint a picture of the golden age of sex in all its nuanced, complex glory.
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“…that you learn the value of vibrators and lube.”
Jackie Hoffman, 62
actor, singer, and comedian
“…it’s hard to cum by.”
Carolyn Hennesy, 61
actor, writer, and producer
“…that sex after 70 is even better because you have off in the afternoon!”
Pat Cleveland, 73
supermodel
“…not many women are born with the capability of having multiple orgasms. And if you are one of those lucky few, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.”
Annie Korzen, 84
actor, influencer, and author of The Book of Annie
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“…I don’t have to work at being sexy. Dressing for a date, do I still try to hoist up those industrial Spanx, resulting in a menopausal sweat and a nap? Or do I opt for breathable undies offering sexy spontaneity with zero support? Then there’s the gray hair situation. I sometimes use mascara to dab around my hairline before walking out the door. However, the idea of using Maybelline on my…NOPE. Not gonna. Choices. Sex over 60 is hot and fun and relaxed. I’m just me, and that feels really sexy.”
—Lorraine Toussaint, 63, actor
“...it’s not like the first time discovering the vocabulary of that first mango—lip-smackingly sweet ‘n’ tart ‘n’ mixed with John Coltrane screaming on a scratched vinyl skipping—like your heart. Or that time speeding down the freeway in the Thunderbird with those windows that you had to crank to roll down 30 years ago. This isn’t retro. Now’s a new revolution hungry for the ageless duet of heavy voices mixed with breath. The pace sometimes slows…grows…stretches the skin…releases the soul. Worlds yet to be seen beyond repetition/expectation/awaiting a shimmering jubilation.”
—Regina Taylor, 63, actor and playwright
Kheng Hua Tan, 60
actor
“…it’s a lot like your morning cup of coffee: something that you can depend on and will always be an essential part of your life...”
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Shelly Clark, 76
Honey Cone member
“…it’s a lot like playing a great round of golf. You’re a bit older, but you can still enjoy it even though you may not be that good at it...”
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Dinah Manoff, 67
actor and director
“…that it’s sweeter. A way of connecting and is less inhibited—although I still prefer the lights off!”
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Regina Taylor, 63
actor and playwright
“...it’s not like the first time discovering the vocabulary of that first mango...”
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“...I no longer carry condoms in my purse for protection. Nowadays, it’s more like Aspercreme to stretch my inner thighs because my legs just don’t hit the 10 o’clock and 2 o’clock anymore. More like midnight and 12:01! And when my husband tries to pull one leg wider, the other follows and I’m rolling off the bed. Now we’re both on the floor naked, laughing uncontrollably, and staying erect has new meaning! ‘You wanna try again?’ he asks. ‘Maybe, but I just remembered there’s Häagen-Dazs in the freezer,’ and off we crawl!”
— Sara Contreras, 66, comedian
“…it can be immensely satisfying if we embrace our body’s changes and focus on where and how we enjoy the most arousing sensations. It isn’t like ‘young’ sex, but it can be glorious if we slow down and explore our body’s capacity for pleasure, either solo or with a partner. The right sex toy at the right moment is instrumental (pun intended) for orgasmic possibilities! If we’re in a couple, clear and loving communication is crucial. If we’re on our own, self-pleasuring is great for our physical and mental health and sense of well-being.”
— Joan Price, 80, Author, senior sex expert, and advocate for ageless sexuality
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“…you can feel like you’re becoming the Dickens character of Miss Havisham...but that’s okay!”
Tracie Bennett, 62
singer and actor
“…you have more time now and more wisdom, so take that time and enjoy giving and receiving pleasure”
Beverly Johnson, 71
supermodel
“…it is all about want, not need—a powerful and glorious shift as you age.”
Maryjane Fahey, 73
founder of Glorious Broads
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“…it’s a journey of true intimacy. With age, we learn what grace really means to us. Sometimes we just want to be close and tender. It’s important for love to be present. Without love, sex feels like a cheap thrill. Communication is key in sex as we get older because we don’t have time for fake orgasms. The tender embrace is very important to me…but also the quick release can be nice. I haven’t dated in five years, but I think about intimacy and what that can look like without sex every single day.”
—Helen Van Winkle, aka @BaddieWinkle, 95, activist, muse, and national treasure
“…I am no longer driven by my hormones. When early menopause shook and shifted my hormonal tectonic plates, I no longer knew aspects of myself I never imagined would be in question. At 47, after three years of sleep deprivation with hot flashes and trying not to take hormones, I finally admitted I needed help, and within 48 hours on a low-dose hormone replacement, I felt human again but not driven. So sex is now much more selectively entered into, and perhaps I assess my possible partners with a less driven and more realistic set of criteria.”
—Dale Soules, 77, actor
Lorraine Toussaint, 63
actor
“…I don’t have to work at being sexy....Sex over 60 is hot and fun and relaxed. I’m just me, and that feels really sexy.”
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Sally Jessy Raphael, 88
former talk show host
“…that it has been the best lovemaking of my life. Senior sex is all about passion, cuddling, creativity, and freedom...”
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Nikki Haskell, 81
former talk show host
“...it gets better, at least for me, because I always like to have a young, hot boyfriend around. A hot romance is fun at any age.”
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Mx Justin Vivian Bond, 60
NYC cabaret legend
“…that thanks to technology, you can order in, say bye when you’ve had your fill, then sleep alone in your sumptuously perfumed bed...”
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“…for me, I am at the top of my game and more comfortable in my body than I’ve ever been. No worries about my menses or pregnancy. Yet my peers require chemical and psychological assistance that I no longer have patience for. I’m an emancipated woman. All the energy spent caring for others has returned to me, and I now spend it on me. I want what I want when I want it. I’m seeking sensuality over sexuality. So for me, it’s solo or bought and paid for: Shibari, Tantra, and kink parties.”
—Tonya Pinkins, 61, actor and filmmaker
“…that maturity and experience are such wonderfully grand advantages. Learning what will make us happy is continuous throughout the life cycle….Sometimes it must present itself in a heretofore unexplored situation before we realize the joy that is possible. I would urge you to give the postponed or unknown a wonderful whirl. After all, if not now…when?!”
—Colleen Heidemann, 73, model
“…I haven’t had any. For me, sex has been the most confusing and difficult topic of my life. It has been used as a weapon of assault on my body twice—once as a child and again as an adult—and while I have mentally moved through this, my body still carries the trauma. We live in a world where women are only valued for their sexuality and I want so much more. I know that I will have sex again...when it feels safe.”
—Heidi Clements, 63, writer and producer
Lead image: Stocksy. Clark: Courtesy of subject. Taylor: Charan Ingram Photos. Hua Tan: Shavonne Wang. Manoff: Kynlee Beau. Raphael: Spinboi Films/Andrew Werner. Bond: Guy Furrow. Toussaint: George Bautista. Haskell: Fadil Berisha. All other images: Getty Images.
