11 secret bars and restaurants in London
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PRINCESSE D’ISENBOURG ET CIE, Holland Park
Princesse D’isenbourg supplies its-own label Champagne, caviar, truffles, smoked salmon and other amuse-bouche to a very discerning clientele. Visit the Holland Park warehouse — incongruously located down an industrial cul-de-sac — by appointment and you will find an unexpected cathedral to fine food. Erté ladies hang on high banners over a grand hall. Classical music fills the air. In the centre is a long table for tastings and the walls are lined with shelves, rammed with an extraordinary array of delectable comestibles, alongside assorted paraphernalia collected from their travels. If you come to try, you’re expected to buy. For a very special occasion, make a caviar dinner reservation.
Address: Princesse D'isenbourg, 2 Bard Road, Holland Park, W10 6TP
Telephone: +44 20 8960 3600
Website: caviar.co.uk
Rachel MegawhatTHE OXYMORON, Kennington
The Oxymoron is a most unlikely neighbourhood pub, run by cheerful pessimist Lisa and retiring extrovert William. The walls are lined with random plates, tins, and clocks. Behind the bar is a gilded woodcarving covered with dismembered dolls, plastic ducks, shock-headed trolls and brightly coloured baubles – it’s as if someone has raided a toddler’s toy box. Sprouting from the walls of the little back garden are totem poles made of swans, badgers and Buddha heads. Twisted through everything are yards of colourful fairy lights, cheerfully glowing but never quite revealing the fabulous array of magical-realist clutter. Look out for Filipino supper clubs, live acoustic sets, and other occasional shindigs.
Address: The Oxymoron, Royal Oak, 78 Fitzalan Street, Kennington, SE11 6QU
Telephone: +447515 878976
THE CLINK, Brixton
A restaurant inside Brixton prison, which trains soon to be released inmates for work in the hospitality industry. Book in advance and don’t arrive too hungry as the security process can take half an hour. The old governor’s house has been converted into a dining room. The modern British menu descriptions may not sound that appetising, as they focus on the benefits to the students rather than the diners: 'Learning how to de-bone a chicken is a key skill taught under unit 223.' However, the food is delicious and the scheme is highly successful – graduates are employed by big-name restaurant chains and reoffending rates have been reduced by nearly 50 per cent. The only catch: no alcohol is served, as it’s banned in all HM’s prisons.
Address: The Clink, Her Majesty’s Prison Brixton, Jebb Avenue, SW2 5XF
Telephone: +44 20 8678 9007
THE KING’S HEAD, Hoxton
From the outside, this looks like a derelict Irish pub. Hidden behind the crumbling façade is a secret members’ club that’s like walking into a still-life Serengeti. Leaping over the ground-floor bar is a ferocious liger, frozen mid-pounce. Upstairs, a polar bear rears up to his full height in the icy blue Regency drawing room. The dining room is lined with 3,000 beautiful butterflies, one bathroom is occupied by four peacocks and a prowling tiger, and the Wildcat Room is clad in clashing tiles, with the neck and head of a giraffe snaking out of the ceiling. Hidden in the pages of Secret London, Unusual Bars & Restaurants is a special membership deal.
Address: The King's Head, 257 Kingsland Road, Hoxton, E2 8AS
Telephone: +44 20 7729 9419
Wesite: thekingshead-london.com
FAN MUSEUM ORANGERY, Greenwich
A beautiful café inside one of the smallest, strangest museums in London. Housed in two Georgian townhouses in Greenwich, the Fan Museum contains founder Hélène Alexander’s exquisite collection of more than 4,000 fans and related objects. If the museum is a whimsical time warp, so is the Orangery tucked away in the garden. The whole room is decorated with a hand-painted mural of a pastoral scene, featuring a three-dimensional fan, trompe l’oeil insects and flowerpots, as well as various Greenwich landmarks. Afternoon tea is served (on Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday) at tables daintily set beneath shimmering blue Murano chandeliers. In this enchanting glasshouse, you can’t fail to feel that all’s well with the world.
Address: Fan Museum Orangery, 12 Crooms Hill, Greenwich, SE10 8ER
Telephone: +44 20 8305 1441
Wesite: thefanmuseum.org.uk
TSIAKKOS & CHARCOAL, Maida Vale
A pirate flag and some drab curtains are drawn across the windows and the lights seem to be permanently off. But nudge open the door, squeeze past some empty beer crates, a man playing the spoons, and a pair of teenage boys stalking girls on Instagram, and you have arrived at London’s finest Cypriot restaurant, run by Xen, Elena and their three sons. Guests squeeze into the cosy, wood-panelled dining room or the secret garden, clad in bamboo and strung with multicoloured lights. Xen will tell you when he thinks his taramasalata isn’t up to par. If it scores 10 out of 10, he tapes a cross on the window. As the name suggests, you’ll leave smelling of charcoal – the lingering aroma of another bright night at Tsiakkos.
Address: Tsiakkos & Charcoal, 5 Marylands Road, Maida Vale, W9 2DU
Telephone: +44 20 7286 7896
Wesite: tsiakkos.co.ukHESTER’S HIDEOUT, Clerkenwell
At this secret speakeasy and weekend cabaret club, there’s no stage separating the performers from the punters. Vaudevillian Mister Meredith belts out saucy ballads with a smattering of enthusiastic tap dancing, his steel-tipped brogues perilously close to your face. Hannah Lou, a barefoot Carmen Miranda (sans fruit bowl) shimmies into the snugs and lures out audience members. Though the crowd doesn’t need much persuasion. Maybe it’s the cocktails. Or maybe it’s the way Marlene Cheaptrick balances a martini on her head while performing a handstand, shooting poppers from her bra and singing an uncensored version of 'Falling in Love Again'.
Address: Hester's Hideout, Basement of 2 Exmouth Market, Clerkenwell, EC1R 4PX
Telephone: +44 20 7837 7139
Wesite: hestershideout.com
RAGGED CANTEEN, Vauxhall
Long before Damien Hirst decided that Vauxhall could become London’s coolest cultural quarter, the Beaconsfield artist collective was showing avant-garde art in the former Lambeth Ragged School, a free school and soup kitchen for impoverished local children. Ring the buzzer today and you’ll find a creative crowd chowing down on tasty vegetarian food (pumpkin and coconut curry, lemon and ricotta ravioli) in a yard that’s hidden behind a high brick wall. Inside the café, an informal space with flagstone floors and whitewashed walls, folksy music burbles above the satisfying thrum of spirited conversation. The small team bakes their own bread and cakes, and there’s always a vegan and gluten-free option. The herb garden on the roof supplies some ingredients; the rest are as locally sourced as possible.
Address: Ragged Canteen, Newport Street, Vauxhall, SE11 6AY
Telephone: +44 20 7758 6465
Wesite: beaconsfield.ltd.uk
RIBA CAFÉ, Fitzrovia
Faced in Portland stone, the Royal Institute of British Architects’ six-storey building is effortlessly modern: there’s no gilt, no patterned carpets, no imposing portraits on the walls here. Massive bronze doors, decorated with a relief of London’s riverside landmarks, lead to a grand marble and glass staircase. Carved reliefs depicting 'man and his buildings through the ages' decorate the ceiling and window piers. Sadly, the first-floor restaurant is no more; but the ground-floor café serves food and drinks all day and you can take them upstairs to the grand gallery room. Or out onto the beautifully landscaped roof terrace with living walls — perfect for a clandestine date or a quiet read. The handsome new member’s bar (open Tuesdays-Thursdays to non-members too) is perfect for post-work drinks, as it’s never too crowded or too loud.
Address: Riba, 66 Portland Place, Fitzrovia, W1B 1AD
Telephone: +44 20 7631 0467
Wesite: architecture.com
Peter DazeleyRIVOLI BALLROOM, Crofton Park
It requires effort to reach the Rivoli Ballroom, but the schlep to deepest suburbia is worth it. A one-time cinema made over by a local dance enthusiast, it opened as the Rivoli Ballroom in 1959, a riot of neoclassical, Art Deco and oriental motifs. A foyer with marquetry panelling leads to the ballroom, where couples glide across the sprung maple dance floor, their sparkly frocks shimmering beneath crystal chandeliers, Chinese lanterns and disco balls. Two bars flank the ballroom: one with red leather booths and an Arabesque tiled bar, the other with gold flock wallpaper and a mosaic ceiling. The monthly line-up attracts all sorts of lithe sub-cultures, from jive dancers to ballroom dancers and salsa enthusiasts, to what is surely one of London’s sexiest venues.
Address: Rivoli Ballroom, 346-350 Brockley Road, Crofton Park, SE4 2BY
Telephone: +44 20 8692 5130
Wesite: rivoliballroom.com
LA BODEGA NEGRA, Soho
So you’re standing outside a sex shop in Soho. A big neon open pink mouth licks its lips. Live Nude! Adult Videos! Peep Show! Are you sure you’re going in? The longer you hang around outside, the dodgier you seem. So you walk purposefully ahead and duck inside. This could be a horrible mistake. But thankfully when the sexy lady on the barstool sends you downstairs, you find yourself in a famed Soho bar La Bodega Nedra, a cavernous Mexican bar and restaurant touting great cocktails, an extensive tequila list and delicious pan-Latin American dishes. If you’re not trying to stay sober, this is the place to come for a dark and tempting red-hot dinner.
Address: La Bodega Negra, 9 Old Compton Street, Soho, W1D 5JF
Telephone: +44 20 7758 4100
Wesite: labodeganegra.comSecret London – Unusual Bars & Restaurants is out and available to buy now
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