- My husband and I frequently take trips without each other.
- Recently I went to Paris, and he went to Venice, and each of us enjoyed our time alone.
- I feel more confident as a person and partner because of these solo adventures.
Is there anything nicer than waking up to the Parisian sunshine, a romantic note from your beloved, and a fresh pain au chocolat? It's my idea of a perfect escape, and I don't mind at all that my husband is halfway to the airport, making tracks to catch his flight to Venice.
Yes, my spouse and I went to Europe's dreamiest cities, and we did so alone, by design, and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Some people may think traveling separately is a sign of trouble for a couple. For others, going your own way, without your better half, is something you do only when there's a specific reason. Perhaps you enjoy a siblings-only camping trip, while your significant other is keen to attend Comic Con. But we travel alone for the sake of being alone, and our relationship is better — and more romantic — as a result.
We encourage each other to travel alone
Supporting each other's globetrotting dreams isn't just something my partner and I tolerate in each other. It's something we encourage. I'm convinced it makes our relationship stronger — and not just because we give each other space.
My husband checked in from Venice, sending quick text messages brimming with excitement. I could instantly tell how proud he was to navigate the glass blowers' studios in his rudimentary Italian and how languorous he felt drinking wine after a day spent on his feet. On my end, I was reporting the triumphs of my mini-adventures in the City of Light, inundating him with shots of roses, éclairs, and art. We were living our best lives and happily sharing the results.
I'm more confident as a person and in my relationship
The Paris-Venice trip wasn't the first time my other half and I wayfared on our own. It's a regular occurrence for us, though most of our vacations are more frugal than our European excursions considering we had to fly from Canada to get there.
The relationship and leadership coach Angie Cole argues that the benefits of such journeys last long after the initial excitement dies down. "We need contrast in our lives to continue to see things clearly," Cole told me. "This applies to our relationships, our partners, and ourselves. We benefit in irreplaceable ways from witnessing ourselves in a variety of contexts."
I can certainly relate to this. Thanks to our time spent apart, I'm reminded that even after 17 years of marriage there's still plenty we can learn about each other.
Cole goes on to add that it is very different to navigate the world alone than navigating it with your partner, even more so if you've been together for a long time. "I think it's important to have a chance to experience the solo elements as well as what changes when you come back together," she said. As a result of my independent travels, I believe I'm a more confident and open-minded person — and partner.
While my husband and I constantly joke about how envious we are of the other's adventures, we wouldn't have it any other way, and we're certain our union is the better for it. We love sightseeing together — both as a couple and with friends and family members joining in — but nothing compares to going out on our own.
Right now, my husband is thousands of miles away with his friends on a Caribbean cruise. I feel a few pangs of envy every time I see his shots of tranquil blue waters, but the feeling doesn't last long. I'm about to dig into my guidebooks and start planning a new trip. I know my next trek is just around the corner.